It's been fun

But I think it's time to end it, don't you? In the beginning, whenever I saw you, my heart would beat so hard, it felt like it was coming out of my chest. But I quickly learned just how unreliable you can be. One day, you'd be there, but then you would leave at the most inopportune of times. People were continually warning me against you. Pointing out how unreliable you really were. For a long time I wouldn't listen.

But then...I was introduced to another. We took the relationship slow. I was shown what I was missing. I tried to stay loyal, but you kept screwing up. So now it's time to say goodbye.

Goodbye Blogger. I have a new home now.

To all my friends. What are you waiting for? It's time to party. Come on over and see my new digs!!!

The Talk

Hey, where are you going? Don't make me superglue your butt to this chair. If I have to suffer, so do you. If you haven't already done it yet, you KNOW you are going to have to do it soon. You know. The talk. The birds and the bees. Part A to part B, and the heavens opened up (and swallowed you so you wouldn't have to have the talk) and Jesus wept. If only Eve wouldn't have been such a bitch and ate that damn apple, maybe God would have been softer on us, enabling our children come into the world with no pain, talking, no need for diapers, and complete knowledge of that whole "how baby's are born" thing. Oh, impeccable manners and a belief in Santa Clause would be a plus. Well, maybe that would be asking for too much. Ya think???

I was over on Key's blog, I saw she had posted this very thing. Ok. That's where I got the whole idea for the post, I admit. It brought up an interesting and sometimes touchy subject that parents face during the life of their child. Go on over and take a look at the post. Let her know your opinion (leave a comment). And don't forget to tell her that Moogie said hello (in your comment)!

Body parts

Some things are better left alone, ya know?

My six year old and I were in the garage last night. She was sitting in the rocking chair, facing backwards, rolled in a ball, head resting on her knees.

SYO: Mommy, push me so I can rock!
Me: Ok
SYO: Keep doing it Mommy!
Me: Honey, why don’t you sit up, turn around and do it yourself?
SYO: I can’t.

(don’t ask, don’t ask, don’t ask, don’t ask)

Me: Why not? (I had to ask, I couldn’t stop myself)
SYO: Because my head is the heaviest part of my body and if I sit up, the rocker will tip over and my brains will fall out.

Alrighty then!

That could only mean a few things. Her head really is heavy (that would explain a lot of things) and she’s in danger of losing her brains (if she has any left). She was invaded by a body snatcher (probable), and it is now sucking up all of her excess energy (this could take a while). Or, she has a headache.

Given that I didn’t feel like cleaning up brains or battling alien creatures, I opted for the latter.

Me: Did someone put sand in your head? (Translation: Does your whole head hurt?)
SYO: Nooooooooo. I got achy eyes. (Translation: My eyes hurt and it feels like my headband is too tight)

Who says I need to learn a foreign language? I already know one now, and it’s spoken every day in my house.

You do know what the cure all for achy eyes is don’t you? Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Ice Cream of course. Come on over. We’ve got plenty. Just see if it doesn’t make your achy eyes go away.

Optical Illusions

I saw this over at the Grouchy Old Cripples site. Pretty cool. If you stare at it long enough you will see a giraffe.

Veterinarian Bill - sigh

I'm beginning to wonder if it would be too expensive to get another dog/cat/animal. If the food bills aren't enough, the price of a veterinarian these days is enough to make me want to eat brussel sprouts instead of flinging them at ungrateful little mini me's running around in my house shouting "I'm gonna give you a wedgie!!!" Just read about this woman's story if you don't understand.

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your pet has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm sure. The duck is dead," he replied. "How can you be so sure", she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed the bird from its beak to its tail and back again. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, jumped down and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried. "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"

The vet shrugged."I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20. But what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it all adds up."

Hey....I didn't say it was a true story!!!!! Happy Thursday everyone!

Ask Me Anything - The final installment

And here is the final installment of Ask Me Anything. To all who participated, I thank you. From those of you who refrained from commenting about "40" I'll put in a good word for you with Santa. (I haven't been that age for all that long). Me and the jolly fellow...we're tight. Why are you laughing?

vegemite asks:

1) Why did you call your blog "Moogie's World?"
2) Is that your nickname that you had growing up?
3) If so, why and who gave it to you?

Answer: I'm going to lump these three together when giving my answer. When I put my oldest daughter into daycare when I went back to work, there was a little girl who could not pronounce her name. It always came out "Moogie" (with a soft 'g'). That nickname stuck with her, and is still with her to this day. When I needed a screen name, I chose that one because it seemed to fit at the time. I've just never bothered to change it, and quite frankly, I'm not sure what I'd change it to.

4) How would you describe yourself in ONE word?

Answer: Content

5) How would your family describe you in ONE word?

Answer: I would hope they would say "caring", though I would imagine it's more of a "at the time" type comment. Last night it would have been "screaming banshee."

6) How would your friends describe you?
Answer: Perfect. Next question?

7) What is your impression of "vegemite", Australia's favorite spread?

Answer: I really don't know what it is. If it has anything to do with vegetables, you won't find it touching my tongue. But now you've got me curious. I'll have to go look it up.

Gopher asks:

1) If you were to have another wondrous child, what would you prefer? Another girl or a boy.

Answer: Um. I.don't.think.so. Two is good for me thanks. BUT, if I were suddenly to go on a wild drinking binge and hook up with some intrepid fireman with a reputable hose, I would probably say boy. Only because I don't have one. But then again, I don't have to worry about playing "let's pee on the cheerio" while potty training.

2) Chocolate chip cookies or brownies?

Answer: Chocolate chip brownies. I think that about covers it.

Genuine asks:

1) What do I get my wife for Christmas?

Answer: A day at the spa (biting tongue, biting tongue)

Melonie asks:

1) How did you meet your husband?

Answer: Through a mutual friend who is no longer speaking to me. Long story, but the gist of it is, he called her to ask for my number. When he called and asked me for a date, I called her to make sure she didn't really like him. She told me he was just a friend. So I went out with him, which led to a relationship, which led to her terminating any and all further contact with me. Go figure. The funny thing is, when I first met him, I thought he was too geeky. He still is, but it sort of grows on you.

2) Did you own Shaun Cassidy's Born Late album?

Answer: You mean this one?



I actually didn't own that one, but I must confess to having had most all of his other albums, and any memorabilia I could get my hands on.

3) What branch of service are you in?

Answer: I'm a civilian (I work for a defense contractor) but work on a base. I've worked for the same company for 22 years, but it took me 15 years of that time to find my place. I'm a Financial Analyst and I love it.

That's it folks. I think I've covered all of the questions. I hope you have enjoyed this as much as I have. Thanks for participating!

Ask Me Anything - Part II

Kurt asks:

1) What foreign language would you like to learn, if any?

Answer: That's a really good question. When I was in high school, we were not required to learn a foreign language (that changed after I graduated) and to this day, I regret not doing it. When I lived in California, there was a heavy concentration of the Hispanic population, so back then, I guess I would have said Spanish. I suppose now I would like to learn German. I remember my grandmother teaching us prayers in German. It's part of my heritage and I would like to learn the language.

Sharon asks:

1) If you could go back and relive any one year of your life, which would it be?

Answer: This one made me think. I have a lot of fond memories, so it's hard to whittle them down to just one year. If I had to choose, I'd pick the year I turned 40. That was the year I graduated from college. My family and friends were so proud of me, but that's not the real reason I did it. I did it for myself. I did it to feel good. To feel proud. Ok, it didn't hurt the career, but that wasn't my main reason. I have been taking care of people and doing for others for half my adult life (step children, then children, husband). I decided to do something for me. It gave me a much needed boost in the a...er, self confidence, and self esteem. A lot of things happened that year, that brought me to where I am today.

Anonymous asks: (he needs a Scooby Snack)

1) If you were a cartoon character, which one would you be, and why?

Answer: I would like to be the Tazmanian Devil. Can you imagine how fast I could clean my house, run errands, etc? Besides, he's kind of cute. Or, I wouldn't mind being Tweetie Bird. I've always loved her, and besides, she's the color of my car.

2) What is the most embarrassing album in your music collection?

Answer: Um, any one of the Partridge Family albums I still have. Take your pick.

Ok, that's it for now. I've got to get back to work. I'll answer some more later on tonight. Same bat time, same bat channel!

Ask me anything answers - Part I

Here it is folks, the first installment of "Ask Me Anything." Well, the answers anyway. I'd like to thank all of those who submitted their questions. Now I just have to answer them. So, on with Part I.

Zoot asks:

1) If you could live ANYWHERE in the world, where would it be?

Answer: I would have to say here. When I made the decision to go for this job, it was because I wanted to be closer to my family. That was a big part of it but mostly I wanted an area that was good to bring up my kids in. It's not fast paced, but I can get that by driving about 30 minutes down the road. The way I figure it, I have the best of both worlds. I have semi-rural living...lots of space, safety, close knit community. But a big city very close. To top that off, the girls love it here. I think I made the right choice. If it was a different country I would have to pick, I'd say New Zealand. But that is just based on the pictures alone.

2) If you could only eat ONE food the rest of our life, what would it be?

Answer: Pizza, hands down. Next question.

Melonie asks:

1) What made you live where you live?

Answer: I think I answered that in the question above, but I want to go into more detail. Most of my family lives in the Cocoa Beach, Florida area and I wanted to be closer to them. Flying four people across country was expensive, at best, and my dad has health problems. We wanted to bring our kids up in an area where life wasn't so fast paced and the cost of living wasn't so high. I began looking for a job further east and let it be known that I was looking to move. A manager of our proposal group got word of a job opening up...the one I have now. We love the area. I have finally come to the realization, AND belief that I made the right choice.

2) Do you like to travel.

Answer: Yes, very much so, but haven't had much of a chance to do so. I have been to Canada, on my honeymoon. We plan to do more of that when the girls are older.

3) How many states have you been to?

Answer: That's a tough one. We traveled a lot (driving trips) when I was a child. There were many summers we would travel across the country for family reunions (Indiana, Florida) and my folks would take side trips. I will say though, that I've not been to any of the northeastern states. I really want to do that, especially New York and Washington, DC to name a few.

Suzanne asks:

1) Would you rather win the lottery or work with a 7 figure salary?

Answer: How about both? I wouldn't mind winning the lottery but I would have to do something. I love to work. I suspect that winning the lottery would let me do something I really wanted to do. I believe I would probably set up a literacy program. When I was in California, I volunteered for a literacy program through our local library. I loved it. It's something I believe in, strongly. It would either be that, or win the lottery and sit around watching soap operas and eating bon-bons. I wouldn't mind having the choice, though I do love my job.

2) Dog person or a cat person?

Answer: Dog person...though, now that we have the land for it, I wouldn't mind having a cat. (and what about fish????)

That's it for tonight. Stay tuned for the next set of answers. Right now, I'm headed off to the bed time routine. For the kids that is. Take care all and be sure to drop me a line by comments or email. I love to hear from you.

3 Guesses

First two don't count.

Guess who found out that snails don't do well when put through the washer and dryer cylcle in a pocket?

That would be me.



Carry on.

Glitches and other stuff

As some of you witnessed, Moogie's World suffered from some glitches this weekend, mainly when you tried to comment. First off, I'd like to apologize for the difficulties, and secondly, I would like to thank Sharon and Melonie for emailing me a few times to inform me about it. A couple of you tagged me on my DoodleBoard as well. It was much appreciated.

This is one of the reasons I am working on moving off of Blogspot in the near future. I get frustrated at the number of times that it's down, or has glitches such as this. Suffice to say, my patience level for things such as this is at a minimum.

My main problem was that I couldn't devote the time needed to sit down and analyze it. My youngest, whom you know as Meelie-No, was sick this weekend, beginning Friday night. We ended up keeping her out of school today and took her to the doctor. The diagnosis was Strep (sigh)..so she won't be able to go back to school until Wednesday. The timing on this bites, as this week is benchmark testing. Most likely I will have to go in and offer up my big toe for penance because I had the audacity to keep my child from school during this time. If things keep up the way they are, I soon will be walking on my kneecaps.

Now we have to decide which parent will go and watch my eldest, Moobear, in her Christmas concert, which is, of course, tonight. I'm not sure what I'll do about that. Inevitably, things like this (illness) seem to happen at the most critical of times.

That being said, I'll be a bit tardy on the answering all of your questions on "Ask Me Anything." I'm hoping to get to them by Tuesday.

Other Notes

Speaking of notes, have you gone over and listened to Sharon play the piano yet? Go here and here to get the latest.

Friendly reminder

Don't forget to post your questions over in Ask Me Anything. You still have time. I'll be answering them later on tonight or sometime this weekend.

Kids can be so simple sometimes

Authors note: I actually wrote this post last night, but was unable to post it until today. Blogger was having a psychotic episode I guess. That would explain the inordinate amount of posts for today. Carry on....

Mr. OWW is off visiting the neighbors right now. He works some strange hours so he eats lunch later, and is generally not hungry at dinner time. Well, I'm cooking the kids dinner tonight. They, of course are starving because they haven't eaten in the last 12 minutes. I have a serious headache (I don't do headaches...I'm fortunate, so when I have one..it really knocks me down) and I don't have the energy to fight. So I get creative.

"Ok...you guys are at a restaurant. A Mexican restaurant. Remember the one we used to go to when we were in California? Well, here are your chips and salsa. Dig in while your dinner is getting ready. "

People...they went for it. Hook, line and sinker. They sat down and are happily munching on chips and salsa while their Macaroni and Cheese is cooking. Of course, I had to add to the whole thing by giving them special cups for their drinks.

I know that macaroni and cheese can't be classified as Mexican food. But hey...we are flexible here at Chez Moogie. My kids are happy. They are not complaining which would increase the pounding in my head. This is a good thing. I believe and live by children's menus.

Of course, no dinner would be complete without raw baby carrots, served with ranch dressing, and apple sauce. We here at Chez Moogie aim to please. For the applesauce, I offer chunky or smooth. Am I awesome or what?

If you'd like to come to dinner...it's best if you make reservations. Oh..and don't forget to bring your lap. I have a couple of terrorists who would love to occupy the space.

Can you relate?

Look out for cars!!!!!! This is said when child is barreling down the driveway on her bicycle into the street.

On that same note, Get out of the middle of the street!!! There is a car behind you! Did you leave your brains in your pocket??? I can't tell you how many times I have washed brains.

Zip up your pants!!!! Good Lord almighty, if I had a dollar for every time I've said that...well, you get the picture.

Did you flush? I won't expand on this one.

This only touches a few of them. What about you? What do you find yourself repeating. I'll collect them all and made a post. It will probably be called "Why parents talk to themselves" or "The rising cost of Prosac" or something like that.

Answering Machines

Why do they call them answering machines? I mean really. Some things don't make sense, know what I mean. They all have a message on them, telling you why the occupants of the house are not picking up the phone.

"Hello, you have reached the residence of Henry Lipshitz and Wilma Throckmorton. We are unable to take your call right now because we are in the process of reading about Aussie Mama's budding romance with James the dashing fireman (gotta love a man with a hose), and her battle with battle with a Blonde Big Breasted, bet they're implants, Bimbo Whore. Please leave a message and will get back to you."

Come on people, stick with me here. It's not like the machine is telling you anything. It doesn't tell you where they are (except if you are Henry and Wilma) or when they'll be back...nothing. Nada. So how can that be classified as an answering machine?

I dunno people. What do you think would be a good name for it?

Homework

Quite often, I help the kids with their homework. Mr. OWW generally gets the honors as he is home when the kids get back from school. When I'm here, mostly on "dance" nights (one takes ballet, the other jazz), I help the girls. They get to slide on their homework until it gets dark and they can no longer play.

So, I'm helping Moobear with her homework. This time it's math. Those of you who know me, know that math is my subject. I'm a financial analyst, and I love numbers. Yes, this explains a lot. When I help Moobear with math, she loves it if I do the problems with her. So, dutiful mom that I am, have my sheet of paper and a pencil, working out the problems as she does them. Don't tell anyone, but I really enjoy this.

So, anyway, back to my point. I do get sidetracked, don't I? I was helping her do her homework and we were on this particularly dicey long division problem. "Whooops...sorry my love, it seems you have it wrong. Try it again." She does it over, and gets the same answer. I quickly review my work and discover "I" was the one that made the mistake. Sigh..I will NEVER live this down. The teacher will be informed first thing in the morning I am sure.

There is something that can be said about overtime.

***UPDATE***

I received an email from Moobear's math teacher this morning. Seems that Moobear shared this story with the entire class. The teacher was "tickled." I'm ruined. Before you know it, the entire school and PTA will know this. My career in finance is over. But that's ok. I have a back up plan.

Do you want fries with that??? Tell me, does this uniform make me look fat?

Side note: I may be away for a few days if the police find the body of Mr. OWW. I had to do it. He was laughing so hard it pissed me off. Besides....I wanted the last piece of pumkin pie.

Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy

Don't mind me. I'm just watching my youngest move through the house. She doesn't walk. She literally bounces of the walls, ceiling and floor. The game of the moment is "Where can I shoot my headband?" (it's elastic) Don't try this at home folks. Especially if you have ceiling fans.

Come to think of it. Do you know why kids can't walk anywhere? And why is it that they choose the most difficult path to get from here to there?

I was just wondering.

Blog Explosion and other stuff

First off, I want to thank all of you that have posted questions in "Ask Me Anything." Keep them coming. There are a lot of good ones so far. I'm going to try to answer them this weekend, so you still have time. I'd like to make this a regular feature, but perhaps use a different theme each time. I haven't really thought it all out yet. Do you have any suggestions?

I was reading Sharon's blog in which she told us that she had just signed up for Blog Explosion. I did that about a month or so ago, in hopes of bringing more traffic. I do get a lot of traffic, but not a lot of comments. Zoot and I were chatting about this very thing last night. We both are of the feeling that it's not about the traffic really. Yeah, you want people to read your blog, but it's even better when you get a comment. Getting feedback always makes me feel good. Even if it's negative, it can help me learn how to write better. I love to write, but am just learning how to express myself. I am hoping to get better as I go. Blogging is a good way to do that. It's also a great stress reliever for me. So if someone reads my blog, and leaves a comment, it really makes my day.

In some ways, Blog Explosion may have helped that. But mostly, it's the fact that I read a lot of different blogs, and if I read something I like, I tend to comment myself. Not just commenting for commenting sake...but a well thought out comment. Ya know what I mean? That tends to bring others to my blog. I like that.

I still tend to go over and look on BE from time to time, to see if I have been rated, or if anyone has left a comment. It feels good to be rated. It really does. But what I like the most, is hearing from folks like you. You know, the one's who take the time to read my blog, and leave a little note. And for that, I thank you. You make my day.

Ask me anything

I'm hoping, depending on the interest, that this will become a weekly, semi-weekly, monthly type of an entry. It involves participation of my readers and this is a good thing....I think. I've seen this type of an idea on several blogs, one of them is Genuine. He has an advice column. I wanted to do something like that, only with a different twist. So, here goes. We'll try this as an experiment and work from there until we find something works. I'm counting on you to come up with the questions.

So go ahead. Ask me anything. There are no boundaries. Well, at least until I see the questions. Oh, let's get one thing straight ahead of time. I wear briefs.

Forrest Lawn

Ok, so, most would say I'm an easy going, kind of go-with-the-flow kind of gal. Wait, please don't ask my husband about that or the midget terrorists but there comes a time when a mother must stand up for what is RIGHT! Can you say RIGHT? Let me hear you! I mean really. I have a wicked sense of humor but this does not extend to teaching my children songs which would be inappropriate to sing in front of one's parents, or in-laws, or neighbors, or the neighbor's dog. We've already passed the Brittney Spears saga, and Madonna's "I'm a Virgin..touched for the very first time," which both of my children sang, from start to finish, in front of my parents, wearing nothing but panties. Ok, I taught them that one but that's not the point. Let's not confuse the issues with facts here.

So people, I was in the garage with my husband, He, Who Must Obey She Who Must Be Obeyed (SWMBO). Hey...I've got a sweatshirt that I got from my mother-in-law that says that. Heh..yeah, like THAT's gonna happen.

Anyway...I'm veering from my point. Probably shouldn't have had that second glass of wine. My husband and I were in the garage talking about John Denver. Why? I have no clue. He broke out in a rendition of John Denver's "Forrest Lawn." I've heard it before, it's funny and all of that, but, that's about it.

Mr. OWW has this sort of shit-eating grin. Come on! You know what I'm talking about. The kind that just reeks of "ooooh, I have a great idea, and I know you aren't gonna like it." I hate it when that happens. Well, if I'm not the one with the grin, that is.

So, Mr. OWW, the one who will sleep with the dog tonight, offers to go get the girls out of the tub and get them ready for bed. My friends, THIS should have immediately clued me in that something was amiss.

As it was, he made it through the kitchen, and the dining room before I took him down. Not an easy task for a woman who is only 5'7" vs a man who is 6'3". I'm getting slow in my old age, but I managed to get the kids in bed before he was able to carry out his plan. He loves to do this. Teach the kids songs that would embarrass even the most brazen of women. Ok, this one isn't really all that bad, but tell me. Honestly. Would you want your children belting this out in the middle of the produce aisle?

Oh lay me down in Forest Lawn in a silver casket,
Put golden flowers over my head in a silver basket.
Let the drum and bugle corp play taps while cannons roar
And sixteen liveried employees sell souveniers from the funeral store.

I want to go simply when I go,
They'll give me a simple funeral there I know,
With a casket lined in fleece
And fireworks spelling out "rest in peace."
Oh take me when I'm gone to Forest Lawn.

Oh lay me down in Forest Lawn, they understand there.
They have a heavenly choir and a military band there.
Just put me in their care, I'll find my comfort there
With sixteen planes in a last salute they'll drop a cross in a parachute.

I want to go simply when I go,
They'll give me a simple funeral there I know:
With a hundred strolling strings
And topless dancers with golden wings!
Oh take me when I'm gone to Forest Lawn.

Oh, come, come, come, come,
Come to the church in the wildwood,
Kindly leave a contribution in the pail.
Be as simple and as trusting as a child would
And we'll sell you the church in the dale.

To find a simple resting place is my desire;
To lay me down with a smiling face comes a little bit higher.
My likeness cast in brass will stand in plastic grass
While hidden weights and springs tip it's hat to the mourners filing past!

I want to go simply when I go.
They'll give me a simple funeral there I know.
I'll lie beneath the sand
With piped in tapes of Billy Graham.
Oh take me when I'm gone to Forest Lawn.

Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
For a slightly higher fee!

Oh take me when I'm gone to Forest Lawn!

Again, not a bad song. I'm just pissed I didn't think of teaching it to them first.

School days, school days, wonderful golden rule days...

Sharon wrote this touching post about her youngest son, Bam-Bam's, first day of school. I thought about her a lot today. I remember what it was like when my kids went to school for the first time. Both of my kids were so very different in the way they handled it. So I guess this entry is really for her. I do not have a special needs child, so I can't really be of help for her. Except to tell her, that in my own way, with my own child, I've been there, and I wanted to share. And I wanted her to know that I, as well as a lot of parents, are routing for her.

When Moobear was going to her first day of Kindergarten, she was so excited. She has always been the child who has had NO problems with going to school. She loves it. She is friendly and outgoing and makes lots of friends easily. She has the self confidence that I wish I had (and still do). She tried out for chorus this year and made it. I have been told that if she continues to work on it, she will have a really wonderful voice. Considering I can't carry a tune if you handed it to me in a bucket, this is wonderful news. I thought she had a good voice, but I am biased. To be told otherwise, is a wonderful feeling. She ran for class president this year, but lost. It didn't even phase her in the slightest. She told me that all she wanted to do was run and campaign. For her, this was the height of fun. We made campaign posters, and flyers, and she was in her element. She came home and told me excitedly that she had lost, but she had so much fun she was going to do it next year. Go figure.

Meelie No, on the other hand, had a difficult time from day one. She cried on the first day of Kindergarten. It was worse when we moved across country, and she had to go to a different school. We 3 girls (not Daddy) were the only one's here at the time, and luckily I took the day off from work. They started the Monday after Thanksgiving. A year ago today, as a mater of fact. I sat in the room with her for 2 1/2 hours on that first day, and she rarely left my side. She is such a shy child and takes a long time to warm up to anyone. Conversely, she is the one with a temper. Stubborn as a mule. Must get it from her father. Anyway, for most of the rest of the year, either her dad or I would walk her to her classroom. She was so sensitive. She cried a lot. At the end of the year it improved, but only marginally. She would drive the teachers crazy because she didn't pay attention, therefore, didn't follow directions. And she had difficulties working in groups. She read very well (at home and one-on-one with the teachers), but when she was forced to read out loud, her brain shut down completely, and it was if she had no clue what it was all about.

We bought a house here in February, and that following August decided to put the girls in a school that was in the new neighborhood. On a side note, this was blessed by both the girls and met with the boundless enthusiasm that the young so often show when faced with something new (if you are lucky).

Moobear, of course, walked right into her class on the first day and didn't even look back. Typical. I mean, couldn't she have even waved at Mom, and offered a trembling smile? Sniff. I looked down at my young child, thumb firmly entrenched in her mouth, lips trembling. She looked up at me with big, tear filled eyes and said "my turn now Mamma?" I nearly melted, but remembered that I needed to show her just how exciting this could be. I said "yes, it's your turn Little Bit, and you are going to do great!" I walked the halls with her to take her to her classroom, and she timidly stepped in the door. Her teacher, who I am in love with, said "and who do we have here?" When Meelie No stated her name, the teacher exclaimed "oh, I've been waiting for you! I am so excited to have you in my class! Come with me. Let me show you the desk I set up just for you!" Mind you, the woman clapped while saying this, and made my child feel as if she was the most important child of the school year. That was all it took. She looked up at me, took her thumb out of her mouth and said, "bye Mamma, I love you." She took another step forward, and then, ran towards her teacher and took her hand. And never looked back. And never has.

They take the bus to and from school. It comes and picks them up right at the corner, two houses away. They love it. They have made more friends than I ever thought was possible. They are doing much better than I expected in school. I think perhaps, this whole thing has been harder for me than it has for the children. I worried. I fretted. But I can honestly say to myself, "look at them now."

And I do. And they make me so proud.

Share your stories of your children, and their first day of school. What was it like for them? How did they react? How did you handle it?

It's just another Sunday

It's a bit nippy here today. Well, nippy for our area at any rate and I'm finding it difficult to get used to the warm weather not being here any more. Apparently, so are my children. I had arguments with both children about what they were wearing before they went outside this morning. The youngest first started out by putting on a good dress and shoes. Um, I don't think so my love. Luckily, the tornado didn't hit, and she agreed to change without much whimpering, but then she came out in shorts and a tank top. Sigh...I mean, really. Ya know? We compromised, and she is now wearing shorts, a long sleeve shirt and a sweatshirt, with tennis shoes AND SOCKS thankyouverymuch! Man I'm mean. Or so she says.

Speaking of World Wars and the Great Depression, I then braced myself for the next battle. In comes my eldest, wearing pants that I could fit 12 homeless people in as well as herself. These were part of a pile of clothes that she received from her cousin (who she worships) and were in her "these are too big for me right now" drawer. One would think I would have learned by now. Put the clothes away in a box. Up in the attic. Somebody shoot me. So, after telling her, in no uncertain terms "you are not going outside in those clothes, no way, no how, period" she proceeded to sulk, go back to her room and slam the door. This was accompanied by muttering something along the lines of wishing for a different mom. Hah! Little does she know that any other mother would make her eat her vegetables on a regular basis. She doesn't know how good she has it.

The next attempt at the runway faired no better. She was wearing a sundress, a pair of my work sandles, and...nothing else. Sigh. I tried the practical approach. "Aren't you going to be a bit cold in that?" (notice, I've not brought up the shoes yet?) And of course she answered "no." Well, that didn't work. What it boils down to is she is in her sundress, but is wearing shoes, with socks (thankyouverymuch), and wearing a winter coat. Did I forget to mention that she was at first wearing MY leather jacket when she went outside? Probably best not to mention that. My blood pressure is still on the high side.

My youngest now has a new friend, The Rogue. They just moved in next door. First there was Little Man, which I could deal with. He is a quiet child, or, so I thought. Now the three of them run around together and I am no longer sure I want her to have any friends. I have two girls. My oldest has two buddies, Prince Charming, and The Instigator that she hangs out with on a regular basis. Boys are so much different. Perpetual energy with a massive dose of loud. When Meelie No and her two friends get together it reminds of a hurricane. Well, at least that's what her room looks like after they leave. I guess I should be thankful that my children have so many friends right on their own street. Most of the time they are outside playing when they aren't inside telling me that they are starving. It's a good thing right?

How many more years do I have until they move out? Remind me. I need to see that light at the end of the tunnel. What really scares me is that I haven't even reached the teen years yet.

Dishwasher Clarification

Recently Kurt posted on his blog about the dishwasher issues I have with my husband as well as posting about your spouse on your blog if they read it. (Thank you Kurt for linking to me by the way).

First off, the post was merely written in humor as I've been married for 16 years and it's been an ongoing battle with us for years. I agree, it's not brain surgery, and I'm so very thankful that he does load the dishwasher at all. It's one of the things I can easily deal with. Luckily, I'm not so anal that something like this would put me over the edge. Sorry..just needed to clear that up in case any of you thought I was actually dead on serious about this.

I will post humorous things about my husband from time to time on my blog. Funny things that happened, or what have you. I'm not uncomfortable doing that because so far, I haven't posted anything bad. I'm not sure I would feel right about making personal problems public. It was an interesting question he brought up though.

What about you folks? How do you feel about posting about your spouse on your blog? Does your spouse read your entries?

Deck the Halls

"Deck the halls with thousand dollies, fal-le-la-le-laaaa-le-la-le-la" (as sung by Meelie No)

Thanksgiving is over, the leftovers put away, the company gone. It was a wonderful time. My brother arrived last Sunday and played endlessly with the girls. They adore him. My folks came up on Wednesday. The week was filled with an endless whirlwind of activities. It is wonderful to have a house big enough to hold all of my guests, be it family or friends. The laughter and the memories we shared were never ending. I smile when I think of my 47 year old brother playing hide and seek with the girls for hours on end. I believe every nook and cranny of this house was explored for the best possible hiding places anyone could ever think of. The nights were filled with playing cards and talking about growing up.

But I feel relieved now that they are all gone. It doesn't make much sense does it? I look forward with growing anticipation of the visits. But am still glad that's it's over. I miss them terribly when they are gone, but look forward to the next time I'll see them. I think it's a sense of being able to get back into a routine. The girls are used to it. I need it to keep order in my life. Don't get me wrong, we are seriously flexible as a family, but adding others to the mix makes it, I don't know, more difficult maybe.

Even though I see my parents more regularly now that we live closer, I'm still saddened to see them getting older, and slower. In my mind I keep envisioning them like they were when I was growing up. You know, immortal. Always able to leap tall building in a single bound...stuff like that. You know?

Surely, there is more stress on me when I have visitors. I think I just don't want to admit it though. I even feel relieved to get back home when we are the ones doing the visiting. Do you ever notice how your bed feels so wonderful?

It's so quiet here this morning. I'm enjoying it. I've had a couple of cups of coffee and soon will go hop in the shower and then tidy up around the house. The girls are enjoying a lazy morning, waking up slowly. I have the time to post an entry to my blog and catch up on some long overdue correspondence.

I'm trying to ignore the "C" word but find myself beginning to get caught up in the festivities. My neighbors across the street have decorated their house beautifully. The girls want to put up the Christmas tree this weekend and I'm inclined to do it.

Hopefully, everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. It's times like these that I realize how fortunate I am to have grown up in a close knit family. I know this, and fully admit it. I am blessed. Luckily, I am smart enough to realize it, and I hope that I can raise my family with same kind of love and never ending acceptance that my parents showed us.

In and out

As I was going through and doing the last minute cleaning to finish up before my folks arrive, I told all of the kids they needed to go outside for a bit. I wanted to vacuum and then mop the floor. At this time, there were only 5 of them.

They all went outside to play, only to come back only 10 minutes later. This time, there were 7 of them. And they were hungry. And they were thirsty. I felt like shouting "and they came in masses." Or some such. Anyway, I told them that they had food at home where they could eat. They told me that their mom was cleaning and sent them back outside to play over here. I wish I could just turn them all away, but it's not in me. So I popped up some popcorn, and set them up outside to have a snack and something to drink.

That should buy me about 15 minutes. I told them to eat slow.

Face painting

Last weekend we went to the Catfish Festival and one of the big attractions for the kids was the face painting, done by a clown. Her partner made balloon animals and he was dressed as a clown as well. I went ahead and took some pictures after we got home. Some of the paint had come off already but you can get a good idea of what it looked like. Moobear was the Grinch, and Meelie No was Sunshine...or something like that.

I have issues

I have issues with my dishwasher. I have issues with my husband. Actually, I have issues with my husband loading the dishwasher. Verily I say unto you, please, don't put the plastic bowels in there. Those things tend to fly around and gather water on their travels. This is generally when I forget to check them before taking them out, and all of that water hits the floor.

Let's talk silverware. I load the silverware in a certain manner. I have loaded it that way since the beginning of our marriage. I will always load it that way. I load forks together, handles up. Same thing with the knives and spoons. It minimizes the time I have to spend unloading it. Plates go next to plates...etc.

Now some folks say that I'm the one who has issues. Some folks are probably right. But still. I load a mean dishwasher and can unload it faster than you can say "Sally sells sea shells by the seashore" 10 times fast. Of course, I can't even say it once, so who am I to judge?

Cabbage Patch Kids

When your house is silent, you have the time to come across some interesting blogs and some of them are some good finds. Velociworld is a site that Mr. OWW visits regulary, and he pointed out this Precious Moments post to me, once he started breathing again. I don't normally read his stuff, but this one does make me wonder. I think this guy has some serious issues.

Back away from the barbeque and no one gets hurt. Good stuff!

I was going to sleep in today

Well, that was the plan but my dog had different ideas. Oh well. It was a good idea anyway. The bummer of it was that the girls were (and still are) asleep, as well as my brother (who is visiting). I'll just enjoy the silence instead.

My brother arrived on Sunday evening and we've been having a great visit. Being the adoring sister that I am, I took the week off so that I can be with him. We've taken him around the town, showing him points of interest and he was even brave enough to weather on of my marathon trips to Walmart. Is that a sign of brotherly love or what?

One of the advantages of having company come to visit is your house gets cleaned. To most people, that would mean that you clean the house before the guests arrive. Hah! Fat lot you know. If you are really smart, you get the guests to help. Like I did. Really.

I had most of the house picked up but not cleaned before my brother came. We spent most of Monday out and about, and then on Tuesday, he needed to do some work. So, in anticipation of my parents arrival later on today, I figured I needed to at least try to do some cleaning. I got all of the laundry sorted, and things picked up and was working on the kitchen when my brother came in and asked me if I wanted him to help. Goodness no, I replied. You just take it easy and relax. Ok, it really didn't happen that way but I thought about refusing. Honest. I did. Well, ok, not that much.

To make a long story short, which is virtually impossible for me, he took the girls and basically, went on a mission. That mission was to clean the bathrooms. It was hysterical actually. The girls were both eager to help and I imagine the whole job took about 5 times longer than it normally would have if he could have done it alone. Bless him. Not only for making my bathrooms look stellar, but for including the girls. My girls. They absolutely adore him. The flip side to this is that you know they are going to tell everyone that they helped their Uncle clean the bathrooms. And I'm sure I'll then get those "how could you do that to your guest" looks. Hey, at least my bathrooms are cleaned.

Today I just need to vacuum, and wash some sheets. The normal stuff. As wonderful as Grammy and Papa are, I don't think they want to share a bed with crumbled potato chips. Oh, about the chips. I asked my daughter how they got there. She told me it was my other child. The one I haven't met yet. "I dunno."

Words of wisdom from the youth

[Meelie No]: "It is never a good idea for you to try to hide an ice cube in your pocket."

Now, I'm not saying that any of you would try to do that. Really. Honest. I'm just sayin......

Questioning abilities

It's too quiet in my house this morning. My kids are both off with a neighbor, riding on a float at the Catfish Festival going on this weekend.

Here I am, sitting at my computer, trying to convince the blogging community that I am an interesting person who has many deep things to write about, only to realize that I must suffer from delusions of grandeur. This doesn't surprise me as I'm constantly thriving for a dose of self confidence that seems to continually elude my grasp. I'll often talk myself up in my own mind, which temporarily makes me feel better. Generally though, reality hits and I realize that what I write is most likely only humorous only to me.

I don't have any particular talent that makes me shine above all the others. I played the piano for a short time as a child but didn't stick with it (I wasn't very good). I'm not an athlete. I can't sing. I'm no artist. What makes me think that people would want to read what I have to say?

So I sit. And I wonder. And I contemplate. Then my children walk through the door, filled with excitement about the parade and the float. My eldest daughter yells across the house "Lucyyyyy, I'm hooooooome!" I respond "You got some splaining to do!" (I don't know why or how this started). My youngest runs up to me in the office and kisses me on the cheek. I can't resist, so I reach over and give her a big hug and rub my cheek on her hair. I ask her if she had a good time and she nods her head vigorously, squirming to escape the confines of my arms. Then she burps loudly and I smell the familiar scent of a grape lollipop.

Things suddenly fall into place. As both my children clamor for my attention, I realize that there is something I do well. All I have to do is look at my children. They think I am special, and that is what really counts.

Calling all parents

I need to ask you a question, ok?

Are you ever able to tell what activities your child participated in at school, as well as what they ate for lunch by the condition of their clothes? This is done by a quick visual inspection, and no verbal communication.

Today, my youngest did some art projects involving paints in many different colors. I believe she must have chewed on the brush as well, if the color of her face is any indication. She had tacos, juice (I believe it was grape), and she must have had some salad because there is one spot on her lap that looks suspiciously like Thousand Island Dressing. She played in the playground because when she took her shoes off, she deposited the sand on my newly cleaned kitchen floor.

And people wonder why I have so many miles on my washer and dryer.

Sheesh!

I only wanted a little bit of popcorn

Picture this. It's Friday, the school bus pulls up at the corner. I'm not home very often when this happens so I'm looking forward to seeing the little midget terrorists and getting to spend some time with them.

Just to back track a little (oh, and like THAT'S something new here), there are two little girls who are on the same bus as mine and they come and stay at our house until their dad comes and picks them up (within a half hour). Today, he was going to be a little late, so I would have them for longer. This is NOT a big deal to me. Things like a house full of children don't phase me. Perhaps it's because I used to wear rubber bands around my neck when I was a child, which often times cut off the blood circulation to my brain that did it. I'm not saying that's the reason or anything...but it could be. Ya know?

Anyway, The Instigator and Prince Charming both came over (boys, aged 11 and 10 respectively) and they all wanted (you guessed it) a snack. Good thing I stocked up on popcorn last weekend. I made the kids each their own bag (nukeable kind) and then decided it smelled so good I wanted some. I wasn't hungry enough to want a bag of my own, just a couple bites. Do you think those little wieners would share with me? Not a chance.

As they stuffed their mouths with the delicious smelling popcorn (they all had chipmunk cheeks), I shamelessly continued to beg. It's worse when I drool. It humiliates my oldest daughter to no end and I'm evil enough to find that amusing.

Me: Please, just one bite? Please?

Moobear: hrfpd slijst (she muffled through the popcorn in her mouth)

Me: Awe, come on Prince Charming! You are my man. You'll share, right?

PC: silxlospft lsot

Me: Please, I'll be your best friend. (I have no shame)

All: slif slkeeke timtlkee nsidlds!!!!!!

I took that as a no. I decided to resort to drastic measures. While casually walking by The Whisperer, I bent down, grabbed her bag of popcorn and took off running like a bat out of hell.

Unfortunately I had forgotten that I am old, and cannot run fast or last as long as the young nubile children, who were quickly gaining on me. I finally collapsed in a heap on my bed, and they all did an impression of Kamikaze Pilots, and their target was anywhere on my body. Dog pile!!!!! I was proud. I held on to that bag of popcorn for a good 30 seconds before they were able to take it away. Happy that they had conquered yet another evil mother in their world, they skipped off to go finish watching the movie, and eating the popcorn they would not share.

The bad part of this whole thing was that after all of that, I never did get any popcorn. Of course, I probably wouldn't be able to eat it anyway. You see, it's difficult for me to chew now. An elbow connected with my jaw during the intense scuffle.

My breathing is returning to normal. After 12 Ibuprofen, the pain is starting to dim...somewhat. It's difficult for me to sit for long periods of time so I am laying on the floor, one arm stretched towards the keyboard, typing.

Will someone bring me a glass of water please?

Hey, it's Friday

Since yesterday was S.H.I.T. day, that means I got today off. Good yes? Well, ok, facts such as these are important only to me, especially when one forgets they have the day off. It's even worse, when one is in the shower at 5:00 in the morning, covered in suds, and the little bell goes off and says "you're not the brightest egg in the basket, are you?"

Hey, I'm not saying it happened to me or anything because I'm fully scrambled. Maybe that's the problem. I should have stuck with sunny side up.

This weeks Blog It Forward Winner

The choice was a particularly difficult one for me as there are so many good blogs out there. This particular blog kept coming back to be over the past week. Her humor and wit will warm even the most cold hearted.

I get the impression she has gone through, and is still going through, a lot. Yet somehow, through her words, she manages to convey the positive side. She shares with us her thoughts on a variety of subjects, some of them, quite candidly. You would think she is an open book, yet I suspect she has just scratched the surface.

Out of all the entries I have read since I was first introduced to her, this one touched me the most.

"When a psychologist tells you that your child has autism -- well, no, I won't generalize it. I'm sure everyone experiences it differently. But when the psychologist said my son had autism I argued with her and told her she surely didn't get enough information to make the diagnosis; that he was just out of his usual environment and it couldn't be correct. The psychologist is a kind woman who obviously cares about children and has heard this all a million times before, so she just nodded patiently and told me gently that it is what it is. And I am still fighting to make the diagnosis not true."

One can only imagine what goes through the mind of a parent when hearing something like this.

"I strongly believe that our children choose us; that people come into our life for a reason and we learn from each other, whether by choice or by force. I strongly believe that anyone can do anything if they want to deeply enough -- even more so if they have a good support system."

With that in mind, I would like to introduce you to the writings of Adventures of a Domestic Goddess.

What is your phobia?

Mine is acrophobia, the fear of heights. I get nose bleeds on curbs. I've always had it, but it's gotten worse as I've gotten older. Neither of my kids have it, and for that I'm grateful. My husband doesn't have it but he does have an aversion to most amusement park rides. Moobear hates them as well, as a matter of fact.

Not being one to want my youngest child to miss out on something as fun as riding Niagra Falls in a barrel, I go with her, fool that I am.

I'm here to tell you that hot dogs do NOT taste better the second time around.

What about you? What's your phobia?

50 Rules

A different take on 100 things (only in this case, it's fifty rules). How many of you would like to make your own rules, and stick them on the refrigerator? The question is, would it do any good?

1. Clothing belongs in one of four places. Your body, your dresser, your closet or the dirty clothes hamper. In no circumstances, should it be found on the floor.
2. Shoes belong on your feet, or in your closet. If they are the shoes you plan on wearing outside once you leave the house, you may leave them at the door leading out to the garage.
3. My shoes are only to be worn by me.
4. Eating is only allowed in the breakfast nook, except for when we sit down to dinner, and then you will all stay seated at the table and not ask for desert until everyone is through. Absolutely no food is allowed in the living room.
5. The same rule that applies to #4 applies to drinking, unless you are getting a drink of water from the bathroom.
6. Only one snack will be given after school. I don't care how hungry you are. If you have eaten within the last 24 hours, I don't want to hear about it.
7. All toys must be put away at the end of the day. This does not mean that you throw them in your closet in a half hazardous manner. If I find any laying around on my nightly sweep, they are mine for an indeterminate period of time.
8. If you get something out, put it away when you are through.
9. Keep all chewing gum inside your mouth.
10. Do not, under any circumstances, draw on yourself with a permanent marker. I don't care if you want to pretend to have the chicken pox.
11. It is not acceptable to belch loudly at a restaurants.
12. Do not sit on the dog. She has enough issues.
13. Do not ask me if you can shave your legs unless you are in middle school. Only then, will I be willing to discuss it.
14. Anyone who uses the toilet, must flush it.
15. When I go into the bathroom, please do not follow me. There are some things a mom must do on her own.
16. If you have used the last of the toilet paper, do not leave the bathroom until you have put on a new roll.
17. There is no need to get a new glass each time you want something to drink.
18. Do not climb on top of the car.
19. Do not jump on the furniture.
20. No hitting, pinching, biting, scratching, kicking, or otherwise maiming your sibling or any other human being.
21. When you are at the opposite end of the house from me, do not yell "MOM" and expect me to come running to you to see what you want.
22. You may not jump on the trampoline when it is raining.
23. You may not eat or drink on the trampoline.
24. Do not put clean clothes in the dirty hamper
25. Yes, you must brush your hair before you go outside.
26. When I ask you to wash your hands, I mean with soap.
27. Before drying your hands on the hand towel, rinse them. Please do not use the guest towel.
28. When I say no, I mean no. Do not keep asking me.
29. Do not put empty containers, cartons, or boxes back into the pantry or refrigerator. Throw them away.
30. If you miss the garbage can, walk over, pick it up and try again.
31. You do not need six band aids to cover a wound left by a small thorn.
32. Giving me a hug, kiss, telling me you love me or any other sign of affection is acceptable at any time.
33. Just because I bought your sister something, but not you, does not mean I love her more. It all evens out in the end.
34. Please do not dawdle when getting in the car. I would like to get to wherever we are going before midnight.
35. The volume of your voice does not always have to be set to loud. I am old. Not deaf.
36. Scotch tape is not meant to be wrapped around your arm so you can pretend it is broken and you are wearing a cast.
37. Please do not bring toads or tree frogs inside the house. I don't care how cute they are. I am more than happy to come outside and look.
38. If you are watching TV, turn it off when you leave the room.
39. Please do not paint your nails while sitting on the living room carpet or the leather couch.
40. If you spill something, clean it up or if you don't know how, come and tell me. I'll be glad to help.
41. If something is bothering you, tell me. I might not be able to help, but I'm always willing to listen.
42. If you want to organize the video tapes and DVD's that is wonderful. But don't pull them all out and then decide you are bored and leave them in disarray, for me to clean up.
43. When you are done playing games on my computer, turn the volume back down to where it was.
44. I will tell you when I think you have enough "up there" to fill a bra. I don't mind checking on it for you every night, but it's probably not a good idea to keep asking our father as well.
45. You may not watch Mad TV.
46. Do not lie to me. I will find out and it will only make the punishment worse.
47. Every once in a while, I like to go somewhere by myself or with a friend. Do not whine to me about how I never take you anywhere, or complain that I don't get you something when I return.
48. I do not love one of you more than the other. You each are my favorite child in your own way.
49. Unnecessary tattling lowers my tolerance level and tends to make me not listen to the real stuff.
50. This is the most important rule of all. I will always love you, even when I am mad at you. When I make you angry, it is because I am making a decision I think is best for you. If you tell me you hate me, that's ok, because I love you enough for the both of us.
    

My dog is a serial killer

We adopted Tiny when she was about 4 months old. She was a shy, timid dog at first. That soon changed with all of the love she received from my kids, husband and I.

She took the move across country well, but was confused with the size of her new yard. At first, we lived in corporate housing, and there was no yard, so to speak. We would walk her several times a day, and she would be in heaven. After all, it was nothing different than what she was used to in California.

Then, we moved into our new house, complete with one acre of land. She didn't know what to do at first. She wouldn't go outside unless we went with her. It was best if she had a leash. This was what she was used to. This was, for quite sometime, the only way we could get her to go in the backyard.

Over time, she got used to the space. She was now on her own turf. When she was out front, she would fiercely protect our house by barking at any car that drove by.

She was, at this time, Mom's dog.

And then, she changed. I don't know what happened. It pains me to admit that I didn't notice the signs. Stalking flies and becoming so good she'd catch 9 out of 10. It didn't stop at the flies. Oh no. She moved on to every insect imaginable. She was out of control. But wait, it gets worse. We have a lot of toads and tree frogs. She couldn't resist. This was when I made the mistake of asking my husband why Tiny had foam coming out of her mouth.

I've tried reasoning with her (don't you realize that that toad most likely had a wife and 12 children he supported and you just killed him?). I've tried threatening her (back away from the spider or all of your dog treats will be given to the cat next door). All to know avail. Lord have mercy my faithful readers, I have even tried appealing to her maternal side (awww...look at this cute little tree frog. Isn't it adorable?) CHOMP! Guess not.

She hasn't gone after the snakes yet, and for that I'm grateful. I don't know what I'll do when she tackles the alligators that sometimes are seen meandering through the neighborhood.

She is now Dad's dog. I should have stuck with the fish and called it a day.

Wow...would you look at this

Those of you who read my blog, know that I entered the Blogging for Books contest this past month. I had a most enjoyable time, and look forward to trying again. I visit the Zero Boss on a regular basis, and at times, leave a comment. His humor and wit are quick, and his topics are never ending. In other words, I like his blog, a lot.

Be that as it may, it seems that one of the comments I posted there was the 4,000th comment to be received. Because of that, I have won a book. Come take a peek and read the post.

I'm looking forward to some good reading. Thanks Zero Boss, you made my day.

Conversations at lunch time

The wisdom I gain from a lunch date with a couple of 10 year olds always astounds me.

For instance:

1. Did you know that sharks swallow their food whole?
2. Whatever you do, don't pop your cold sore because it has a really nasty taste.
3. It is possible to lose a tooth while brushing your teeth, but there is a lot of blood which really looks cool with the toothpaste.
4. Never go to the dentist when you have to have a tooth pulled because it really hurts.
5. That I make the best chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese lunch because I serve it with both barbecue sauce AND ranch dressing.
6. That it is possible to burp in three part harmony.
7. When you cough and fart at the same time, it hurts.
   

I could add more, but I need to go lay face down on my bed and have a good scream.

Anybody have a tissue?

I think I'm gonna cry. As a staid member of "Who's Wine Is It Anyway," I was about to post how comments on my blog were few and far between. As usual, my online friends (some of the new) made me look like a fool. Thankfully, they did this before I posted one of my bitch-fests.

Firstly, I've been getting some wonderful comments, most recently on "You know it's going to be a bad day when."

Then, I go over and visit one of my many favorite blogs, and find that I have been selected for "Blog Forward" for the week. Thank you Mellie for making my day!

Do your ears hang low?

Do your ears hang low,
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot?
Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Can you throw 'em over your shoulder,
when the wind begins to blow?
Do your ears haaaaang low????

Many experts say that it's a good sign when your children sing a lot. It means they are happy. I believe this, really I do. I just wish that they would pick the more traditional songs to sing. What ever happened to "The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round?" I guess playing things like Redneck Woman doesn't help my cause.

As I get older, I realize that my ears are not the only thing that hang low, but I'd rather not get into that right now because the topic would need to be talked about in depth as there are too many parts of my anatomy to discuss in just one sitting. So, without any further ado, I bring you the real topic of the moment, brought to you by non other than Golly Blog Howdy who provided the link on her fantabulous blog.

Are you feeling a bit low today?

Do you need a boost to your self esteem? Did your get up and go take a taxi to the nearest spa and leave you and you poor morale sitting in a rocking chair trying not to think about the mess your house is in, or the fact that you are having a house full of company during the Thanksgiving holidays? Have I got a site for you.

For all you overworked, underpaid and not appreciated parents out there, here's your chance to prove how wonderful you really are (as if you didn't already know). Just go here and type in your name. Go ahead, see if it doesn't make you feel a bit better.

Moooom, can I have a snaaaaaaaaack? And now we take you back to your regularly scheduled chaos.

Google

Moogie specializes in Full Face Painting. It's more fun to be something else than to have a heart on your cheek! And it really doesn't take much longer! Moogie paints 12-15 faces per hour! Moogie only uses hypoallergenic FDA approved face paints and does not use glitter which can damage one's eyes.

It's truly amazing what one will find when one googles on their name. It seems that I am now a world famous clown, known for my face painting and balloon sculptures. Cool. I had no idea I was this talented. Actually, she looks pretty fun. Here is a page about her. If you go far enough down that page, you'll see a dog that looks remarkably like Zoot's Sweetie. She even has a cool kid's page that offers a lot of different stuff to do. Do you remember Mad Libs? We had hours of fun with those.

Maybe that's my career fall-back plan. I dunno, at least my name would be right. After all, a clown is much better than being referred to as a Ferengi.



A little nip here, a little tuck there. Some dental work. I'd need a good wig though. Hey...look at the added bonus here folks. I'd never have to buy a Halloween costume again.

My personal favorite is a story named “Moogie is a Messy Beastie.” Lord help me but I think they came to my house for inspiration, and used one of my children as a model for Moogie.

There are too many google matches to mention here, but it was amusing to look at them. Go ahead and give it a try...google your name and see what you come up with.

You know it’s going to be a bad day when….

Your first sip of coffee at work, goes through the hole in your mouth and makes a beeline right for your shirt, which of course, is dry clean only. And because you have not had enough coffee to clear your mind, you try to clean it off in the bathroom. This in turn, makes the spot worse. I have three meetings today, and then after work I am going to get my hair done. Lovely. This is why I think the picture above is so appropriate. I copped this one from vegemite this morning. My eyes are definitely not that wide open.

Speaking of coffee

Today, some bright minded sole brought in “Blueberry Crunch.” No, not a cereal but a type of coffee. To add insult to injury, it’s decaf. I’m surprised the first sip of this didn’t come out of my nose.

Veteran's Day Salute

To all the men and women who have risked or lost their lives serving our country, I salute you. You are the best!

Look here for a post by OWW (Mr. Moogie).

Pork Butt

"One of the traditional cuts of meat used for barbecue is the whole pork shoulder or more commonly in California, the Boston Butt. Despite the name 'butt' the cut is from the shoulder of the hog, not the butt, where the hams are located. "

Even though I am from California (can I say that here?) I did not know what a pork butt was (well, I thought I did but was wrong) when I first came here. We had just moved in our house and that weekend, the neighbors put together a "welcome to the neighborhood" barbecue. While enjoying the friendliness that was uncommon to us in our previous home, I began to wonder if we had chosen the right place to live.

On the one hand, I didn't want to hurt them by refusing their wonderful offer, but on the other, I had to question the sanity of anyone who would eat something that was from the nether regions. Kind of like I wonder why anyone would want to eat liver. Get my drift?

My reservations not withstanding, we went, and I gamely tried the pork butt (it had been smoked all day) and found it to be quite palatable. Ok, I really loved it and even had a second piece but that's not the point. As the wine flowed, and the tongues loosened, I mentioned something about the fact that I didn't think I would have liked anything having to do with a butt. When the laughter died down, my neighbor wiped the tears from his eyes and proceeded to explain to me the parts of a pig, and how that related to the names of meat.

Doh.

From that point on, I was hooked and was later introduced to "pulled pork." Luckily I cut my imagination just short of picturing Billy Joe and Beauregard, each standing at the end of the pig (front and back) and pulling the pig. Phew. I love pulled pork. It's even better when you have a large heaping spoonful of cole slaw to go with it. I was taught by my co-workers to eat the two of them together. On a side note, I didn't realize how much I loved cole slaw until I moved to the south. It's a lot different that what I'm used to. I also love to put it on my hot dogs and my pulled pork sandwiches. But I digress, which if you are one of my three loyal readers, shouldn't surprise you much.

I stay away from collard greens and fried chicken gizzards, and black eyed peas are something that should be thrown at your brother, but I've certainly found plenty of different foods here that I enjoy.

I wanted to try my hand at making my own pulled pork so I began to search the web. I wanted to see if it could be done in a crockpot. It had to be easy to make. A lot of the recipes called for rubs and such. Bah. Too much work. I ended up compiling a couple of recipes, and the following is my take on "The California Girls Guide to Making Crockpot Pulled Pork." I apologize in advance because the pictures don't do it justice.


The Butt



This one was right around 6 pounds or so. I cut off all of the visible fat I could before I started to prepare it.

Adding the garlic



After determining that it was difficult to get all of the fat off, I went on to the next step, which was adding the cloves of garlic. For most recipes, they used about 4-6 cloves but that was mainly for about 4 pounds of meat. We love garlic, so I decided to go out on a limb and put more on. It's a simple step. Just take a knife and put holes in the butt and stuff the clove into the hole. Just remember that your hands are going to smell like garlic for the next few days. Most recipes call this "studding the butt." (that's not a good visualization I know, but hang with me here, it will get better)

Slicing the onions



I don't think I have to go any farther with this one. Slice two onions for this recipe, and it doesn't matter what the thickness is. I would recommend making them thicker as they will be easier to remove when you are ready to "pull."

At this point, sprinkle the butt with salt and pepper, and put the onions away in a sack (this is, of course, if you prepare it the night before, which is what I do because I like coming home to work to find dinner already done.

The first layer



When you are ready to begin cooking, place one of the onions in a layer in the bottom of your crockpot, and then lay the butt on top of them.

The second layer



Place the second onion on top of the butt, in another layer and add at least two cups of water. For a six pounder, I added about 3 cups.

Pulling the butt



After cooking it on low all day, it's time to go to the next step. Pulling the pork. I found that working with two forks is the best method. I also used tongs to pull the meat out. It will be really tender and will fall apart when you do this. Use the forks to pull apart the meat or "shred it" and put it in a separate bowl as you work. While going through this process, remove and discard the garlic and onions.

The sauce



Here is where the recipe can vary. You can add the sauce now, or let your guests choose what they want to add when you serve it. My family tends to like the sauce added in it so that's what I do. You can also add chopped onions at this point but since I have a child who can spot an onion on the 40 yard line, I skip this step.

The finished product



This is what it looks like if you add the barbecue sauce right away. Heat it up and you're set to go. I made some cole slaw (the easy way) to go with it, and served it with toasted buns.


The cole slaw



Taking care of two children, and working full time, tends to make me simplify things. For my cole slaw I used the bagged variety, and buy our favorite brand of cole slaw dressing. I add a little celery seed, mix it up and am set to go.

Enjoy!

The return of the lounge chair

The pictures didn't turn out too good but the girls sure had fun with these chairs. It's amazing what little one's can do with their imagination.

Moobear is on the left, Meelie No on the right.

Points to Ponder

1. Why are there empty cereal boxes in my cupboard?
2. For that matter, why is there an empty gallon container of milk in my refrigerator?
3. Where does the sock monster live when the dryer isn't running?
4. Why do you wake up 10 minutes before the alarm goes off, and have to go to the bathroom so bad you can't go back to sleep?
5. Why did I teach my children to talk?
6. Why do my children like my hair brush better than theirs?
7. Why can I never find my hairbrush in the morning?
8. Why can't a child brush their teeth without making the mirror dirty?
9. Why do children find it necessary to change clothes a minimum of four times a day?
10. Why won't my eldest daughter wear a belt?
11. Why can't my youngest daughter sit at the table for dinner without getting up from her seat a minimum of twelve times?
12. How come a toy, that has been sitting in the middle of the living room for most of the day, suddenly become the subject of World War III when one child picks it up?
13. Why does my dog, who is fed two times a day, eat bugs and toads?
14. Why do my children behave like angels at someone else's house, and then come home to take on the role of the devil incarnate?
15. And lastly, why do kids have to grow up?

Those are just a few things I can think of off the top of my head. Do you have anything else to add?

More flashbacks

Sunday must have been a go-back day. A day to let my mind wander to the years I was growing up. I suspect it is because I haven't seen my parents in a while, so I'm missing them more than usual.

I was thinking about my dad. My mother was never one of those "wait until your father gets home" types. The punishment was always swift, and immediate. But, and this was a huge deal in our household, we had to tell dad what we had done when he came home. He never added to the punishment, but had this way of looking at you that would break even the toughest kid's heart. We always knew that he was disappointed in us, and our behavior, decisions or whatever the situation. As the only girl, disappointing dad was devastating to me. As I look back on it now, I'd imagine that's why they did it. It really reinforced what behaviors were acceptable, and what wasn't. It was very effective. To this very day, I have a difficult time divulging information that I know they do not want to hear. No mommy, please, spank me, ground me for the rest of my life, make me clean my brothers underwear but puleeze don’t make me tell daddy that! I promise I’ll never do it again! You think I’m kidding? The memories of those days are enough to make me start twitching again. I try to avoid that because then the voices get louder (Eat that piece of cake Moogie, no one will notice. So what if it's right before dinner? Come on, you know you want to).

We were pretty scared of him as well. The man never laid a hand on us but he certainly had our number. I can remember sitting next to my mother and brothers in church. Dad would be an usher, and we kids would be fidgeting around, and he would be walking down the aisle, taking up the offering. When “the look” from mom didn’t work (oh, I see you know that one as well), dad would just grab hold of his belt and hitch up his pants. Mom said that none of us would make as much as a peep or a move in any direction during the rest of the service after he did that.

Being scared of him didn’t seem to deter the fact that we wanted to play with him whenever possible and he was always a willing participant. Dad traveled quite a bit for his job, so there were a lot of absences. I remember I had a doll named Karen. Karen was probably close to my height but I really loved her. I can remember asking dad to hold her, and he would sit down and put Karen on his lap. He would admire her pretty hair, which I had no doubt, just put 27 hair bands in, complete with matching barrettes. One day, I asked my dad if he wanted to feed Karen, and he obliged (what a guy). The thing is, Karen was one of those dolls that you fed with a bottle, and the water just came out the bottom (i.e. the butt) right away…..only I didn’t tell my father that. To this day I maintain that I did not do that on purpose, but for some reason my entire family doesn’t believe me. Go figure. Be that as it may, my mother told me I laughed out loud when my dad lifted Karen off of his lap and found a big wet spot. My mom said it took a while for me to calm down. But I really didn’t do that on purpose, honest. Really.

My father also had a big appetite for poker chips. It was rumored that he preferred the blue one’s, but he never told me that. He didn't want to stress me out. I had an old pot and pan set that my mother gave me to play with. I even had some wooden spoons. I remember “cooking” up a feast of chips for my father, dishing it up on my fancy dishes and presenting it to my father as if it was a meal fit for a king. He of course, always told me it was. It was a while before I thought to ask him what he did with all of those poker chips. He told me that after I went to bed, he and my mother would fish them out of the cushions in the couch.

He had a lot of patience back then. He still does. I don’t know how he does it.

No mother, of course I didn’t mean to run over the little dog next door. Yes, I know he barks a lot and yes, that bothered me. Yeah…I agree, I guess I shouldn’t have tried to run over the owner as well. Her hair will grow back, really, and so will her roses…you’re not gonna make me tell dad are you?

What about you? Do you have an special memories about your parents? Post a comment or email them to me. I'll put them up on Moogie's World.

Bouncey, Bouncey, Bouncey.....

What I saw when I looked out my sunroom windows this morning.

That's my Meelie No and her friends, Little Miss (remember Peaches?) and Little Mister.

Coffee...I need more coffee. And a shower. That should help. Where do these kids get this kind of energy?

She's got eyes in the back of her head

As a young child, I remember believing my mother knew everything. She knew how to make the best Halloween costumes, how to get splinters out without hurting, put your hair up so you looked like a princess, mend a broken heart, and find was to make chores even seem fun (I have yet to master this talent). She just generally knew how to do everything, and knew everything that was going on in our lives.

The thing I was most impressed with was the fact that this woman did not have to be looking at you in order for her to determine that you were doing something that would warrant her disapproval.

I can remember when we would be sitting at the table doing our homework, and Mom was cooking dinner. In stealth mode, I'd make my move, assured that my mother wouldn't see a thing since her back was towards us. Before my arm was fully raised and ready to smack my unsuspecting brother, she would calmly state: "Moogie, don't even think about hitting your brother in the back of the head." Dumbfounded (does that word mean you were found to be dumb?), all three of us would stare at each other in wide eyed wonder. My oldest brother, being the bravest one of the three of us, spoke up and asked "how did you do that?"

She slowly turned around with a wooden spoon in her hand and a smile on her face and said "I have eyes in the back of my head." I believed that was true until just a few years ago. Even now, I have my suspicions that she very well may have been telling the truth.

One night at dinner, that same brave brother walked over to stand behind her, staring intently at the back of her head. Not a woman to be bothered by the strange behavior of her children, she calmly asked him what he was doing. He promptly, and very seriously responded, "I'm looking for the eyes."

Early Morning Conversations

I was sitting in front of my computer, surfing through my friends blogs, and checking out my email when my youngest daughter came skipping (which at that time of the morning is so not right) up to me. She was in a really good mood, which is rare for her, but as her mother, I wasn't about to try and spoil it the tranquility I felt at that moment. But I blew it. Not for her, but for me. The conversation left me questioning my ability to understand even the most simplest of life's pleasures.

Me: Hiya cutie, what's up?

Meelie No: Good.

And she happily skips away to, I would imagine, look for her father to torture him in much the same way.

It is here I ask myself why I even attempt to hold a conversation with a six year old before I've had a chance to finish my first cup of coffee. Granted, I most likely wouldn't have been able to understand it any better, but at least my head would be clear and my eyes a bit less blurry.

Is it any wonder that I don't have a better command of the English language?

Let's Talk Farts

Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web. (found on Grouchy Old Cripple)

What is it with kids (and husbands) and farts? Oh, wait...should I call it boof, passing gas, short sweet purple one's? Everyone in my family, except me (cough*bs*cough) seems to suffer from this debilitating problem. For god sakes people, that's what we have bathrooms for!

Case in point: Meelie No was standing next to me in the office, showing me her beautiful artistice representation of Rollie Pollie Ollie (OMG..the colors were superb...and everything was in the lines) and she, well, yes..she boofed. Loudly. That wasn't even the bad part. While she was doing that she had her hands down her pants, and afterwards put them up to her face to smell them. Oh like that's an odor I'd like to walk around with all day.

My husband is not better. We will be sleeping and I'll be snuggled up to him (spooning) and he lets off a loud ripper. He immediately wakes up and says..."What did ya say honey?" And when I reply "nothing" he says "then what did you wake me up for?" It generally only takes me about 10 minutes to patch up the hole in my kneecap.

The dog is the worst. Short, sweet, silent purple one's. You know what I'm talking about people. It's amazing. We'll all be cuddled together watching a movie and we smell this obnoxious odor. Alright...who did that? After we make our rounds of accusations and realize it was none of the humans, we all cry out "Tiny!" The dog has the audacity to get up, turn around, give us a disgusted look (as if to say, OMG..how dare you?), bark, and moves into her kennel.

I'm sorry to bring this up, but tonight's episode nearly brought me to my knees. Not an easy task. I must be the only one with this problem. If not, there would be a website about it.

I miss the politics

Psyche! Had you going there for a minute didn't I? Nor more campaigning! Well, at least for a little while.

I'm gonna miss it though, really. As much as:

• Getting sand in my bathing suit while I'm at the beach.
• The bottom of my foot itching and I'm wearing boots, and they're lace-ups.
• Stubbing my toe.
• Going to the dentist.
• Picking something up from underneath my desk and raising back up before I've cleared it.
• Eating burnt toast.
• Discovering the milk is bad, after I've just taken a big sip.
• Giving myself a do-it-yourself appendectomy.
  

I've never understood the fascination with. But then again, a lot of folks don't understand my fascination with kids. It's a good thing to be different. It would get a little dull around here if we weren't.

I learned a new song!

Y'all ever heard of the chicken dance? Here are the real words to it, according to Moobear.

I don't wanna be a chicken,
I don't wanna be a duck,
So kiss my butt,
Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck.

Sigh......

School Days

I think perhaps I should have stayed in bed today. Meelie No told me about a conversation she had with her 1st grade teacher. I feel it's important to keep the communications open with my children but sometimes that comes back to bite me.

Dear Miss Teacher,

Meelie No informed me that she told you that you couldn't spend the night at our house because you were too grumpy.

I would like to set the record straight. Meelie No is not really my child. The stork dropped her off at the wrong house.

Sincerely,
Miss Moogie

Things I don't want to know about

Me: Hi Meelie No, have you been playing with Little Miss?

Meelie No: No, she isn't home.

Me: Then what have you been doing?

Meelie No: Picking the fleas off Peaches.

I should have left well enough alone.

Note to readers: Peaches is Little Miss's dog, who is left out front during the day.

It was a dark and stormy night....

I was walking down the produce aisle, shielded from the wind and the rain, and darkness of night. My children were happily playing behind me, singing the songs that children sing. I passed by the lettuce, stopping only to pick up a bag of spring mix. The carrots, the green onions..they beckoned to me, but I had enough in my refrigerator to last for a time.

I happened upon the zucchini, now on sale. Always one for a bargain, I stopped, I gazed and my mind wandered. Suddenly, the luscious, shiny zucchini I was holding slipped from my hands. As I bent down to pick it up, I glanced around and my eyes fell upon a pair of brown Gucci shoes. As my eyes traveled slowly upward, I took in the precisely creased Armani pant leg, and further still, the silk shirt and tie, which was loosened at the collar.

I allowed my eyes to travel further upwards and what I saw did nothing to still the rapid beating of my heart. A pair of cobalt blue eyes studied me intently, silently pulling me towards him. His mouth was soft, yet held a sensual promise I could not resist. He bent down to retrieve the zucchini I seemed to have forgotten about and spoke in a voice that pierced through me, sending a warm feeling throughout my now taught body. "You seem to have dropped this" he said softly. "Thank you," I replied. As I reached out to take the vegetable in question, our hands briefly touched, sending a jolt of electricity through me.

My throat felt as though it was closing up. My breath came in uneasy gasps. He leaned closer, his lips inches from mine.....and closer still. I knew he was about to kiss me and I was powerless to stop him.

Mooooooom, I have to go to the bathroom!

Redneck Woman

Do any of you listen to Gretchen Wilson? How many of you have a secret fantasy to become that Redneck Woman?? Come on people! Don't be afraid to raise your hands. How can you resist?

Oh I'm a redneck woman,
I ain't no high class broad.
I'm just a product of my raising,
I say hey y'all and yeehaw!
I keep my Christmas lights on,
On my front porch all year long.
And I know all the words
to every Charlie Daniels song!
So here's to all my sisters,
out there keeping it country.
Let me get a big Hell Yeah,
from the redneck girls like me!
Hell Yeah!
Hell Yeah!

I have found that I enjoy driving around in my car and blasting her CD (windows open). Better yet, my children love it just as much as I do. My eldest can sing every song on that CD, word for word. It does a mother proud. Of course my youngest kind of messes up the words in a way that only little kids can. I'm seriously worried about her going up to someone and telling them that she's a "product of a raisin."

Now, as a responsible parent, I'd like to remind you (as if you didn't already know), that while encouraging your children to listen to your music could be considered a good thing (it cuts back on the fighting), you must explain that it is not acceptable to belt out songs with questionable words in public. Especially, in front of your parents. I don't think I've ever seen my mother so shell shocked. My dad, always able to dig up the humorous side, just grinned.

I don't let little embarrassing moments like that stop me though. Now, we girls just make sure the windows are rolled up and no one else is in the car with us. Down the road, Gretchen is blasting through our speakers singing "I'm here for the party!"

Hell yeah!

Just when I thought my life couldn't get any crazier.........

This is my entry for Blogging for Books #5



Just when I thought my life couldn’t get any crazier, good old Mr. Murphy whispered in my ear. “Be careful what you wish for.” On March 31, 1998, my daughter (our second child) made her entrance into the world. Emphatically. My carefully laid out daily schedules were now a thing of the past. The saying “get in, sit down, shut up and hold on” comes to mind. Little did I know how bumpy that ride was going to be.

Child #1: Moooooom, she’s looking at me!

Me: Honey, please don’t look at your sister any more.

Child #2: But she looked at me first.

Me: Remember what I told you sweetie…sometimes people don’t like to be looked at.

Child #1: Moooom, she’s looking at me again.

Child #2: Ooooooh, I’m telling! Mooooom, she touched me.

Me: Girls, please…no more touching.

Child #1: Give me that! It’s mine!

Child #2: I had it first!

Me: Girls, you have to share.

Child #1 and #2 in unison: Moooooooooooooom!

Me: Alright you two! I have had enough! I don’t want either one of you to look at each other, touch each other or play with any of your toys for the rest of your lives!

All of this, and we haven’t even gotten in the car yet. Sound familiar? When I had just one child, life was simple. No fighting. No touching. No looking. Of course, it lacked the certain chaotic atmosphere that tends to enrich our lives now. While I sometimes long for the days of “the only child,” I can’t say that I want to change anything. Most of the time. They sure are cute when they’re asleep aren’t they? Read on.

I have a theory. I can hear all the scientists scoffing at this idea, but it is obvious that they are lacking in any social skills because they deal with micro-organisms, test tubes and mutated rats all day. Years ago, when I first began playing around with this theory in my head, I only related the results I found to the male species, specifically children. Since then, I have gained enough knowledge and foresight to see that this idea was flawed. Both male and female children suffer from it. The symptoms may be different, but the outcome is the same. No visible sign of brain activity. I should mention that this condition does not always rectify itself by the specified date for the male, as women around the world can testify.

Note to readers: This theory has not been proven scientifically, and is only the opinion of the author. Any similarities found in other children are purely coincidental. Please do not rush your child to the emergency room. There is no cure.

When a child is born, they are this tiny, adorable little bundle of life. One that you and your spouse/significant other have made. One that you are sure will be the model child. While this may work for a time when you have just one child, the moment you bring another into this world, all bets are off. The years pass and they grow up, both physically and emotionally, something begins to happen. Somewhere between the ages of 5 and 8 their brain stem and spinal cord slowly begin to disconnect. Over time, the separation is complete and the onset of symptoms commence.

Consistently forgetting to flush the toilet (OR TO PUT THE LID DOWN!). The inability to distinguish clean clothes from the dirty ones. Forgetting to tell parents about the cupcakes that they have to bring in for school until 5 minutes before they have to leave to catch the bus. Not being able to explain why we put little Jimmy on the trampoline, in a chair, and then jumped on the trampoline until little Jimmy flipped off (you ever try explaining that to little Jimmy’s mom?). Telling your mother that you have a vocabulary test the next day while she is tucking you in for the night. That’s just for starters. It’s gets worse as they get older. To set your mind at ease, this will generally go away with no medical intervention sometime in the late teens or early 20’s.

The emotional state of a parent tends to disintegrate as well. I suspect that is because we have to repeat ourselves so many times. We simply lose track of where and who we really are. What were you thinking? How many times do I have to tell you not to leave food wrappers on the floor? Do not climb on the top of the car! Pick up your clothes! Stop jumping on the furniture! Who didn’t flush the toilet? For the 15th time, quit hitting your sister or else I’m going to stick your head in the freezer! I’m sure you have a few of your own.

If that isn’t enough to make life crazy, how about getting your children ready to go to school in the morning? Just what you need when you are having trouble focusing and forming any kind of coherent sentence. I tend to get up a half an hour early so I can stand a chance of winning at least one of the battles. Have you ever tried to get my children out of bed? My oldest isn’t that hard. Well, you practically have to sit on her to wake her up, but once you do, she stumbles across the floor to sit at the table, waiting for her breakfast. I had never seen a child eat breakfast while sleeping before.

We have to start a bit earlier with the younger one. Future husband of this child beware. She is not a morning person. Dad will generally get her up and sit her in the recliner for about 10 minutes before tentatively approaching her and asking her about breakfast. If you try it any sooner, you’ll likely be missing an arm. We have all learned the hard way with this one.

After breakfast, we move on to the fashion machine, known as the closet. In this case, the youngest generally causes us no trouble. Unless she’s in a really bad mood. When this occurs, I suspect that I could be holding a Cinderella Costume in my hand but this would not be sufficient. You kind of have to roll with the punches sometimes. The oldest one will soon be going to school nude. It is always a fight to get her to wear something appropriate. We live in Georgia. It’s still very warm here. She insists on wearing long pants (mainly jeans). Do you know why she won’t wear shorts? Because her legs are hairy. But riddle me this. Why is her favorite thing to wear a skirt? Wouldn’t the skirt show hairy legs or is this some type of fashion statement her mother isn’t aware of. “Mom, duh. Everyone that is anyone knows that hairy legs go with skirts and clean shaven legs go with shorts.” How could I be so stupid?

We used to have a battle about lunches which are much easier than the daily fashion crunch. For whatever reason, they never wanted to buy at the cafeteria. I’m thinking it has something to do with the fact that the food there isn’t fit for the mutated mice referenced above. For some odd reason, and I am not one to question a blessing, eating lunch in the cafeteria is now cool. Hey, who am I to argue with cool? After all, I have clean-shaven legs when I wear a skirt.

I remember when dinner used to be a quiet, relaxing affair. Now I dread it. I have one child that will eat just about anything, until Miss Picky opens her mouth and says “oooh, that’s gross” and then quickly remembers her manners and says “I don’t care for any no thank you.” Too late, now the little one thinks it’s gross too. Even though the youngest is a wonderful eater when separated from her sister, there is some genetic defect she possesses that prevents her from sitting in her seat all the way through dinnertime. If I had a dime for every time I have told her to sit down I’d have a Nanny right now.

Generally by bedtime, I’m ready to fall in a heap on the floor and just sleep. Bath time, while not a bad thing, is chaotic. One is old enough to do it herself, but has to be prodded along the whole time. Have you washed your hair yet? Ok, now it’s time for cream rinse. Hurry it up, I’d like your sister bathed sometime before midnight. Conversely, the youngest wants to do it herself, but is not quite there yet. If I would leave her on her own, the entire bottle of shampoo would be used, but only half of her head would be washed.

After our bedtime routine, which normally consists of saying our prayers and reading a book, or telling a story, it’s my time. That is, of course, until I discovered that one of the squirmy little bodies I have just put to bed, tiptoed across the hall to her sisters’ room.

Mooooom, she’s looking/touching/bothering me!

S.H.I.T.

So happy it's Thursday! What did you think I meant?

Tonight I am a bit tired

Ok..perhaps wiped out is a better word. I can't really put a finger on the reason why, but I am. It happens sometimes, I know. Most likely it has to do with the time change and the fact that I keep waking up an hour earlier.

I've signed up with blog explosion and still don't really know what it's all about. I'm in the directory now. But what is the next step? What am I supposed to do? What makes it such a great thing? I admit to being low on patience. I have little when it comes to things like this. I can't sit through and read everything without getting a major twitch which freaks my kids out.

What am I supposed to do now? How will blog explosion help me. Anybody know the answers?

I was excited this morning when I logged in and found I had a few comments. What a lift to my spirits. It means that someone actually reads what I write. Not that I really write to have a large audience but every once in a while, a pat on the back like that is so nice.

I got an interesting email from a friend today...I wonder how much of it is true.

Believe it or not, you can read it

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt!

That's good news for us who are spelling impaired.

Tonight, I'm keeping it short and far from humorous. I am tired. I want to sleep. I've been working on my Blogging for Books essay. I think I'm written out. Do you bloggers ever have times when you just don't have anything to say?

Have a wonderful evening. Rest well. Don't let the bed bugs bite. Stay safe, be good, and in general, come back and visit me tomorrow. Leave a comment to let me know you were here and I'll be sure to respond.

Look for my essay to appear tomorrow. I'd appreciate your comments. It's all for fun. A bit of practice...and perhaps one day you will see me on Oprah (NOT!)

Pick Me! Pick Me!

"Please do NOT tell me you went to school with no underwear on."

My girlfriend and I were talking about blogging the other day. My reasons for blogging are purely selfish. It's a fantastic source of release for me, just to be able to put my thoughts into the written word in some semblance of order. Of course, since I am thoroughly convinced I suffer from ADHD when writing (I cannot stay focused on one subject for more than three sentences), I do not believe it is feasible to use the word "order" here.

Ok, I confess. I am a rambler. It is my dream to have Kenny Chesney croon about me in his newest hit single entitled; "She's a Rambler, But I Love Her." (and then we lived happily ever after).

Even though I post mainly for myself, I do get a tingling of satisfaction (ok, a huge ZAP) when I see that someone has left me a comment. They like me! They really like me! I am also a closet statsaholic. Oh look! Two people viewed my blog today! I get all flushed and I immediately begin dreaming of billboards with my name in lights and being on Oprah. Disney would make a movie about my quick rise to success as an author. Ah...I can hear Kenny now....

"In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the rambler blogs toniiiiiiiight!"

Does anybody want to buy a Rolex watch?

No? How can you resist? You have much more willpower than I will ever possess. I have recently been receiving many great offers vial emails for Rolex watches. I have plenty of them now. One for each holiday, for starters. If you'd like to get in on this, let me now. I have plenty of emails to share. Kind of like the gmail accounts.

Vote! Vote! Vote!

I don't do politics. Well, for the most part. I'll break my cardinal rule here and make an exception. Today is Election Day in the United States. Please Vote. You CAN make a difference.

Speaking of elections....

Grade School Election Day

In the spirit of the elections going on in the United States, Moobear's and Meelie No's school held their very own. All grades participated and the following questions were on the ballot. The winners are in bold.

1. Who will wear the Dr. Seuss hat tomorrow?

A) Miss Bruce (Principal)
B) Miss Pazz (Vice Principal)

2. Do you want a goldfish or an angelfish in the fish tank?

A) Angelfish
B) Goldfish

3. Should smoking be banned in all public places in Georgia?

A) Yes
B) No

4. Should both men and women be required to join the military once they turn 18.

A) Yes
B) No

5. Should people be required to volunteer for special projects after high school?

A) Yes
B) No

6. Who should be president?

A) President Bush
B) Senator John Kerry

No early or absentee ballots were allowed. I am pleased to report that a recount was not necessary.

In my parting remarks, I'd like to remind you to vote, if you haven't already and don't forget to drop me a line in my comments section and say hi. But the most important thing I ask of you is this: Please, help me make my youngest child understand the importance of wearing underwear when going out in public.

Kenny...hold me, just hold me.

O.M.G.I.M.A.

"Honey, push the bicycle. That's why it has wheels."

Oh My God, It's Monday Again. Hey...I have a lot more of those and they never get any better. Sorry.

It wasn't that it was a bad Monday. It was actually quite good. I sometimes think that using Monday and the word "good" in the same sentence is something of an oxymoron. But hey..it happens.

We reset all of the clocks and alarms in the house except Moobear's. It doesn't really matter because she tends to sleep through it anyway, even with the volume set up to WARP 26 LOUD. Her alarm generally wakes up everyone, including the fish but doesn't even phase her. I can see the writing on the wall for this one.

I was busy trying to get in the shower but she couldn't find anything to wear. Let me clarify this by saying she didn't want to wear shorts because her legs were hairy. This is much like the snack battle we have every day. She doesn't want to wear shorts because she has hairy legs. I tell her that 10 is not the age to begin shaving. Now tell me people, why will she wear skirts (she loves skirts) to school and not shorts then? I keep telling her that she has to wait until middle school to shave, and she continues to refuse to wear pants at school in hot weather. Go figure. We finally discovered an outfit she could live with (that didn't hit the dirty clothes basket first) and then she wanted me to do her hair. And it couldn't have any lumps. And it couldn't be crooked. Wait..that's the wrong color of hair-band...it doesn't go with my skirt! And...and....I tell myself every night that I am going to pick out her clothes and all accessories the night before. I never do. But then, I have a firm belief that mom's are masochists...and they need to have something to write about in their blogs.

For now, it's Monday evening. It's close to dinner time. I've got a nice turkey tenderloin roasting in the oven. I'm getting ready to make some brown rice (no mushrooms or onions because I have a child that thinks mushrooms are the devil incarnate and can spot an onion from the 50 yard line). I have picked up 7,436 Halloween candy wrappers on the floor, in various areas. I am ready to have a nice, calm family meal, gradually, moving on towards the kid's bath time. Just nice and relaxing. Oh wait..I was talking about my fantasy dinner. I think that was the one in which Mel Gibson had the male part. A girl can dream can't she?

Monica sez.....



And on that note...I bid you good evening. May you mate all of your mismatched socks and have plenty of snacks in your cupboard. And may our children NOT run into a mailbox with their bicycle.

Big Butt's So What

"Why can't you tell a secret to a whale? Because they are blubber mouths."

It seems there is a new saying going around school these days and my girls, never one's to be left out of a trend, picked up on it. "Big butts so what?" If my translation skills are still any good, I believe that it means something close to "big deal," or something like that. After hearing it eleventy dozen times, I decided to nip this puppy in the butt bud and put a stop to it. Unfortunately, this seems to be as difficult as telling them not to take another breath. What can a mother do? "Moooom, I'm hungryyyyyyyyy!" I turned to my eldest daughter and replied in my ever-so-grown up and sophisticated way "big butt, so what?" Hey, turn about is fair play, ya know. I got a delicious sense of satisfaction when she gave me a dirty look and stalked off into the other room.

Ramblings from he week of October 24-31st

Last weekend I managed to clean the beta's fish tanks (Twinkie, Rags and Dude Jr.). They look so much better. Beta's are very easy to take care of. They don't bite, bark and are house trained. You feed them once or twice a day and you don't need to use a filter, or keep the water at a certain temperature. I swear, they recognized the sound of my voice. "Dude, Rags, here she comes. Look really cute and she might give us another snack!" Funny thing is, they started out as the girls pets but really have turned out to be Mamma's boys.

Speaking of snacks, I would like to see the statistics of the amount of money families with children spend on snacks each year. Why do we feed our children snacks? Think about it (stay with me here). We give them three square (*cough*bs*cough) meals a day. Why do they need any more food? I suspect they do it to annoy us, and we cave in because we get tired of the whining. I once asked Moobear if she would care for some cheese. After all, it would go well with the "whine." Mother's come up with the most clever things to say. Unfortunately, I was not blessed with this talent.

Our typical snack conversations go something like this:

Child: Moooooooooooom! (Note to readers: This is something that is generally shouted from one end of the house to the other, and you are usually in the bathroom when you hear it).

Mom: WHAT??!!! (you yell, not to be outdone).

At this point, said child will move in closer to you and ask that typical question that most parent's hear in their sleep.

Child: Can I have a snaaaaaaaaaaaaack? (Do you ever notice how this question is voiced in a nasally irritating twang?)

Mom: No.

Child: Whhhyyyyyyyyyyy??????? (another annoying word)

Mom: It's too close to dinner.

Child: I'm staaaaaaarving!

Mom: You can have an apple.

Child: But I don't want an apple.

Mom: Then you must not be hungry.

Child: Moooooom, I'm staaaaaarving.

Mom: I told you, you may have an apple.

Child: But I don't like apples

Mom: That's funny, you ate two for dessert last night and had one for breakfast.

Child: I just started not liking them at lunch.

Mom: Alright, alright! You can have an apple or a piece of cheese.

Child: But I don't like that kind of cheese (care for some wine?)

Mom: Well, those are your choices, take it or leave it.

Child: Fine. (said child adds to the effect by letting out a long suffering sigh and stomping out of the room).

Five minutes later, the same conversation takes place. We can't win, can we?

Speaking of F.I.N.E. I am one. Fooked Up, irrational, neurotic and emotional. Do you even wonder why? Besides the daily snack drama, I also have to deal with a child that apparently doesn't know the difference between clean and dirty clothes.

When we do the laundry, we'll take her stuff and put it on the dresser. I had been after her for a while to put the clothes away. Finally, she went into her room muttering about how "uptight' I was (hang on honey, it's only going to get worse). When she came out of her room, I noticed she had changed clothes...again. "Did you hang your dress up?" I asked. "Yep!" she responded. Good girl, I thought. We are really getting there. Did I ever mention I was full of crap?

Later on I went to her room and noticed the dress (the one she said she had hung up) on the floor. I just simply picked it up, walked over to where she and her friends were sitting and held out the dress. She wisely got up and took the dress from me and went to her room to (I thought..remember, I'm full of crap, and gullible too) hang it up.

The day moved on and I was blissfully unaware of anything amiss. I went to sort out some laundry in her room, and what do you know? There was the dress that she had told me she had hung up. In the dirty clothes. In her laundry basket. Rolled up in a ball. As I continued to sort the clothes, I noticed that there were some of the clean clothes in the DIRTY clothes hamper. To add insult to injury, they were still folded. Stupid, stupid child. Doesn't she realize that if you are going to do that, you need to roll the clean clothes up, throw them on the floor, and stomp on them with your dirty tennis shoes? And people wonder why I drink.

Halloween Humor

Since it is October 31st, the official day of Halloween (please, don't get me started on that again). I thought I'd share some humor with you.

Q: What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi.

Q: How do you make a witch stew?
A: Keep her waiting for hours.

Q: What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his exorcist?
A: He was repossessed.

Q: What do you call a person who puts rat poison in a person's Corn Flakes?
A: A cereal killer

Q: How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?
A: With a pumpkin patch.

Q: What do you get when you cross Dracula with Sleeping Beauty?
A: Tired blood.

Q: Why was the mummy so tense?
A: He was all wound up.

Q: How do you know if a ghost is lying?
A: You can see right through him.

Q: How is a werewolf like a computer?
A: They both have megabytes.

Q: Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?
A: They're afraid of flying off the handle.

Q: How can you tell when a window is scared?
A: They get shudders.

Q: Why didn't the skeleton dance at the Halloween party?
A: It had no body to dance with.

Q: What do you say to a ghost with three heads?
A: Hello, hello, hello.

Q: When does a skeleton laugh?
A: When something tickles his funny bone.

Q: Why is a ghost such a messy eater?
A: Because he's always a goblin.

Q: What happens when a ghost gets lost in a fog?
A: He's mist.

Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
A: Hoblin Goblin.

Q: What do you get when you cross a were-wolf with a drip-dry suit?
A: A wash-and-werewolf.

Q: What is a vampires favorite mode of transportation?
A: A blood vessel.

Q: What do you call a skeleton who refuses to help around the house?
A: Lazybones

Q: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
A: To stop his coffin

Your tag is out

I am a Bush supporter but thought this was funny. This is courtesy of my darling sister-in-law.




Shoelacing Methods

And I thought I needed to get a life. Here I was, wrapped up in teaching my kids how to tie their shoes, and I come across this.

You have to wonder. This link was snatched from Supermum's site. I couldn't resist.

Road trips

No need to worry about those long road trips any more. Cut your time in half by eliminating the need for a potty break.




For the full, fascinating story, and instructions on how you can order one of your own, look here.



So that my friends just about sums my thoughts up. I'm sure I've missed something but I'd imagine I'll post about it in the future. I've got a couple of pictures to share from Halloween but I need to upload them and I'm just not in the mood right now. It seems that we forgot to take a picture of Meelie No in her costume. Honey, Dad lost the camera in your sister's laundry basket. It got hidden somewhere between the clean and dirty clothes.

Would y'all care for a snack? I've got some good wine to go with it.

Is there an echo in here???

I realized that I haven't updated in an entire week. That's not to say I didn't have anything to write about, there has been plenty. We have been busy this week, with activities almost every night. After I got the girls settled in for the evening, I just didn't have the energy to post. I'll be catching up off and on during the day as time permits. First I need to run the normal errand type stuff and get Meelie-No's bangs trimmed.

No, I don't do them myself. The last time I did that gave new meaning to the words "45 degree angel." (Honey, really it's not so bad. Just walk around with your head tilted to one side and no one will notice.) So, I get it taken care of at Wally World. It's cheap and it keeps the bangs from covering her eyes like they are now. But I have to admit, it's easier to explain why she walks into stationery objects when the bangs are longer.

I cleaned, and cleaned, and...shopped!

You were perhaps expecting something different?

I worked all day yesterday on the house, and verily I say unto you, my house is now a palace, until the wild masses of midget terrorists Moobear and Meelie No brought every single child in the neighborhood over. I quickly stepped into Mommy Mode, which I reserve for the day in which I find myself in difficult situations with children swarming around me. "Smoothies for everyone!", I cried. " And then I prayed to the man up above that I had all of the proper ingredients. I set everyone to work, sending Master Nick over to the china hutch to retrieve the special wine glasses for the occasion. (Mind you, these were one's that I had gotten at Beal's Outlet for 20 cents a piece and they are plastic). Yes, I know...I'm such a spend thrift, but nothing is to great for my little angels and their gaggle of compatriots. I assembled everything and quickly made up the smoothies. Whilst the blender was whirring away, I began to plot my next step which was to get them out of the house so I could finish up what I needed to do. This way, I felt, I could at least enjoy a clean house for about 5 minutes. After smothies were poured, and brite, neon (my eyes!) straws passed out, I sent them on their way. They were all to walk along our street, drinks in hand and make observations. The first of which was that the boys were to count the number of trucks and the girls were to count the number of regular cars. I then informed them that they were to report back to me with the answers and to collect their next assignment, as well as get more smoothies. They were also aware that I knew the exact number of cars and trucks on our street so they'd better not mess up. Ok, I told them that but they bought it so that's good enough for me. As they were rushing towards the door, I shouted "No running allowed. You might slip and fall, and the glass will get smashed and you'll cut yourself on the plastic and need stitches. And how would I explain THAT to your mothers?" They all giggled because they are kids, and heck, I made the smoothies and I am the one who has ownership of the pitcher so they knew they must do as they were bid.

I'm happy to report that it worked and I didn't have to think of anything else for them to do, because as they were filing in the door with their carefully calculated numbers, the mother's began to call and ask that I send them home for dinner. My day was quite successful. The only thing I needed to do now was attack the children's rooms.

I began that task first thing in the morning and I was in my ruthless mode. If I didn't recognize it it was thrown out like a worthless boyfriend. I had about 75% of Meelie No's room complete when my friend Sharon called. You remember her? She was the one who had sex on the beach. She was in search for a candle and wanted to hit Beal's Outlet. I began to twitch violently, wrestling with my inner self. I knew that I was committed to finishing up the girls rooms today. But, I argued with myself, I could finish it when I got home. I began to whine to my inner self and eventually I just stopped listening. The long and the short of it was, I went with Sharon.

I hit paydirt. This wiped away any guilty conscience that I had about not finishing the girls rooms, and leaving my husband to deal with the little rug rats angels. I am happy to report that I paid full price for nothing. I have been trained by Sharon (a world class bargain hunter) to look and look hard for those things that are marked down. I got three vinyl table clothes, each for under 60 cents a piece. I'm tired of washing placemats, and I have young children, so this was a no-brainer. I have started to put together my sunroom, which will have the theme of Litehouses. I found THREE items (two of them 60% off and one 95% off) that I can use in that room. I also found a sweat suit for my youngest ($4.00) and a skirt for my eldest ($3.29). I felt elated, invigorated. No bargain would get past me!!!!! Oh, I also want to mention that I am always in search of hair accessories for the girls. I hit paydirt. I came home, I was happy, the kids were happy, and my husband was happy that I did not spend the money needed to pay the bills.

The children's rooms may still need work but by gosh, I settled for nothing but the best bargains. I am a mother. I am a bargain hunter. I am so damn sore from all of the work I did yesterday that I can barely move. But hey..it doesn't matter...I bought two bottles of Ibuprofen the other day during a buy one get one free sale.

What Kind of Blogger are You?

You Are a Life Blogger!

Your blog is the story of your life - a living diary. If it happens, you blog it. And make it as entertaining as possible.

What kind of blogger are you?

Clean up! Everybody Let's Clean Up!

Anybody with school aged children, especially younger ones, has probably heard that little ditty. For some inexplicable reason, it's running through my head right now. At least it's a change from the normal Christmas tunes that my eldest daughter has been belting out every day. She's in chorus this year, and they are practicing for the Christmas Concert (I beg your pardon, I meant to say "Holiday Concert").

Today I woke up and made the decision that this was to be a major clean up day. My husband has to work, the weather is nice outside, and I just feel this primal urge to clean. Mind you , this is not a regular occurrence. I should learn to never make these types of decisions before I've finished my first cup of coffee, but so far, I keep on doing it.

It really needs a good clean. Well, actually, it really needs a thorough pick up, and then a bit of a clean. Some areas more than others. I walked into the kids bathroom to set up their bath and looked in the mirror. For a split second I thought that old age had finally caught up to me and my eyes had gone seriously bad. It was just the mirror. Nothing that a little Windex won't fix. How in Heaven's name can a mirror get so dirty in no time flat? I think I need to start making the kids brush their teeth outside.

I have a confession to make. I was out in the garage foraging around and organizing (ok procrastinating) and the little darlings thundering herd of children in the neighborhood began arriving, immediately clamoring around me, wanting to know if Meelie No and Moobear could come out to play. I told them that the girls were taking a bath (true statement, see above mirror comment). But I didn't tell the girls that the kids were waiting for them. I'd like to enjoy the quiet, and at least have part of my house picked up before the little tyrants the mass arrives and makes a mess of my attempt of making my house presentable.

I don't know what it is about our house that draws children. I will never admit this out loud, but I don't really mind it being "the house of choice." I like it that the kids have fun here. I suspect it's because we have good snacks and a trampoline in the backyard. I don't mind them playing their music on the CD player..loudly. It's probably a combination of a lot of things...plus the fact that they are fascinated with my boogers.

Halloween Woes

No, this is not some ditzy mother's post about what my children are going to be for Halloween (that will come later). It seems that the Camden County Board of Supervisors has been approached by the Bible Thumpin Right Wing Religious Sector, who want to change Halloween this year to Saturday, October 30th. They don't believe in letting their children run around as Witches and Goblins on the Sabbath. Pardon my ignorance as I am from California, but this whole thing is just wrong.

Halloween is a day that my children can dress up as whatever they want to be, run from door to door, collect too much candy, get a stomach ache and stay up a little past their bedtime. This is a day for the children. Please don't preach to me about the origins of Halloween. We are in the 20th century folks. We've moved passed that.

Wake up and drink your Koolaid. If you don't want your child to go trick-or-treating, fine. Keep them home. But don't you dare tell me that I need to move a holiday to support your out-dated, religiously fanatical beliefs. The next thing I know, you'll be telling me when I should celebrate my birthday.

I am mother, hear me ROAR! And if that doesn't work, I'm gong to take my booger and throw it at your shoe.

First Crush

For those of you who don't know me, I'm blessed with having a 10 year old daughter. Moobear is experiencing her first crush. While this can be considered somewhat cute in many family atmospheres, I am here to tell you that in my house, it is a lesson in kid-speak. What is kid-speak, you ask? It's my firm belief that every household with children, has some form of the language that only astute, or seriously intelligent beings can even comprehend. I thought I was one of the aforementioned, but then, I have always been a bit delusional. And full of crap.

I, being the seriously involved parent, know all of my children's friends, enemies, nutritional habits, phobias, favorite television shows, disgusting habits, and frogs. About the frogs. I'll get into that later...some day.

The "crush" started off innocently enough. I noticed Moobear working feverishly on a piece of paper, and when I walked into the room, she immediately turned it over.

Me: Whatcha got there?

Moobear: It's personal

Radar, radar....child is hiding something. Radar, radar...must find out what it is.

Me: Can I see it?

Moobear: Promise you won't laugh at me?

Me: Absolutely.

So she comes over and sits on my lap and shows me what she was working on. I immediately wiped all expression from my face (in other words I didn't laugh or say something like "oh, how cuuuuute"). The piece of paper had Joe Futuresoninlaw written all over it...with little hearts, and sayings such as "The future Mrs. MooBear Futuresoninlaw."

I asked her all the pertinent questions such as:

1. Is he cute?
2. What does he look like?
3. Is he nice?
4. Does he have good bone structure?
   
5. What are his grades like?
6. What are his aspirations for his future career?
7. Does he own a car?
8. Does his family have money?

After gathering all of my data, I deemed him sufficient son-in-law material and sent her on her way to get ready for school.

That night, as we were eating dinner, I asked her how her day went. She immediately told me that she was really mad a "H" but was still her friend. Here, my loyal readers, is where kid-speak comes in. I pity my poor husband. The brave soul put on a good face and pretended that he knew what the hell was going on. I gave him ice cream as desert for being such a good sport.

Moobear did not want to use names because she didn't want her father to know who she was talking about. Go figure...we girls know how that works. After all, I am "the mom who knows all about her child's life" so I should be able to follow along and fill Dad in later. Did I mention I was full of crap?

I have tried to capture the gist of the conversation below, and to the best of my knowledge, this is what Moobear said.

"K told JM that H liked JM. M told JM that H had a booklet about JM. M told H that M liked JM. M got mad at H for telling JM that M liked JM. M found out that JO liked JM, so M told JM that JO liked JM."

Follow that? Good. I got an email from her teacher today. Seems the fifth grade girls are lacking focus this week. I've decided that JM has a lot to answer to. Now if I could just figure out what all of this means......

Icon Wars

This provided me with endless entertainment. If that wasn't enough, I showed it to my children, who thought it was the funniest thing since Mom sneezed and a booger flew out of her nose an landed on Meelie No's shoe. Wouldn't you know, the size of that booger keeps growing and growing. Like Pinocchio's nose on Viagra. And of course, they tell their friends, and so on..and so on.

Oh yeah, like I'm really looking forward to being on Ripley's believe it or not.

Check it out!

Bahama Mamma and Sex on the Beach

My girlfriend took me up to Savannah on Sunday. Why? Because she wanted to show me what it was all about. It's a popular place to visit, and now I understand why.

We started off the day by visiting Keller's Flea Market (we are physically incapable of passing up a Flea Market and this one is absolutely HUGE!). One word: OH...MY...GAWD! What a fun place! It's a mixture of junk, cheap stuff and some really nice goods. I, on the other hand, only bought a drain strainer. I know, I know, too much excitement for one entry. Lest you think I'm a wild spender or a woman on the edge, let me explain some things.

We have a septic tank. Ergo, we have no garbage disposal. This strainer is wonderful for catching all of the crap little scraps of food that you miss so that they don't go down the drain. Or, and this is my favorite, you FORGET we are all mindless dolts that you no longer have a garbage disposal, and can't dump crap little scraps of food down the drain and go ahead and do it anyway. Each and every member of my family has done this (excluding the fish). Of course, I have an excuse. I had children, lost all of my brain cells and am in a never-ending search for my car keys.

Please don't get me started about the puppies we saw there. I told my husband to thank his luck stars that I didn't walk in with a new addition to our family (or was that additions?).

After the visit to the flea market, my girlfriend drug me away from the furry creatures, and we made a quick stop at the Outlet Mall there. Like flea markets, Outlet Malls are a "must see" in our book. Then again, Beals Outlets are too. Shopping is the name and bargain hunting is the game. But I digress and should save this for another post. Like I said, after the flea market and after the mall, we headed on up to Savannah and spent most of our time on River Street. There are an abundance of shops to visit, and so many restaurants to chose from. We had allot of samples at a couple of candy shops (where we got to watch them make it and we drooled so much the manager had to ask us to leave before we scared the customers away). We even visited a peanut shop. So many nuts, so many flavors (no, I'm not talking about San Francisco).

Warning to readers: If you ever see a Wasabi peanut, for the love of God,
don't try it. If not, you'll have the added health bonus of never having
to blow your nose again, which wasn't as bad as the shape my tongue was in, nor the fact that I had no visible sign of lips left. I did not heed the warning. When I came too, the paramedics told me that they couldn't perform CPR on me because there was a three alarm fire coming out of my ears, and am excited to report that I'll have no more nose hairs to remove.

Simply put, Savannah, at least downtown, basically consists of what I'll call two stories, with shops/restaurants, etc. on each level. Cobblestone or brick streets run throughout the city, and old warehouses are the residence of the shops. The floors in the shops include concrete, rugs or a mixture of both. It's a good thing to watch your step when walking either inside OR outside. The stairs to get down to the lower level, or vice versa, are vertical, and way to high for any sane person to attempt to climb and if you think I'll ever do that again you're crazy very high. On the upper level, there are many walkways that take you from the main road to the shops. Since it was difficult to see anything when crossing them because I was crawling on my hands and knees crying like a baby for someone to shoot me because my head was level with the clouds, I often wondered just how much I really wanted to visit the shops on "the other side."

One of the high spots (and there are many) of Savannah is a place called Wet Willie's. Imagine a slurpie shop with any flavor imaginable...with a kick ass amount variety of alcohol, in large quantities. I tried the Bahama Mamma, and my girlfriend has Sex on the Beach (I can see your minds working here). Good stuff! I'm happy to report that after about 24 hours, the walls stopped moving.

Tomorrow's Topic

Bahama Mamma and Sex on the Beach.

Daddy's Musings

1. Life is grand when your child decides that eating off of the cafeteria menu at school is cool. No more making lunches (PB&J at o'dark thirty).
2. Any more than three children is a mob (Note to readers: We have an average of 6 kids over at a time. I suspect it has something to do with the trampoline in our backyard and good snacks).

Meelie No Musings

1. My friend thinks that everyone's house is really small because she lives in a castle. She really does live in a castle cuz I visited her house.
2. Nick barfed on the trampoline tonight. Maybe he has a little sickness in his tummy. He should go to the doctors (Nick got accidentally "butt slammed" by his sister. Enough to knock the wind out of anyone, much less his last meal).
3. I'm a good eater. I eat anything. Moobear is getting there. I love Italian food (tortellini for dinner tonight. Little hungry Meelie No?).

Wings over Camden

Went went to a scaled down version of what could be called an air show today and enjoyed it very much. One of the advertised attractions was that children could get plane rides for free. The adults would have to pay $15 each, but I still considered that to be a good price. I wasn't planning on riding in an airplane, even though my father was a private pilot when I was a child, so you would think I'd be used to it. You might say I got a case of cold feet (or, as my kids would say...chicken butt) when we arrived. I would prefer to claim it was because Moobear didn't want to go because she was afraid. I am a mom after all and I MUST support my children. I couldn't very well leave her on the ground alone now could I?

Turns out, everything was for naught. All of the slots had been filled up. This was a good thing believe it or not. When we got there, we discovered that they were only allowing ages 7-17 to fly. Meelie No is only six, and Seth is only 4. Moobear, who didn't want to go is 10, and Sarah is 7. When I first heard the ages, I thought "uhoh..think fast mom..this is gonna be ugly." On the one hand, I didn't want to deny Sarah the chance to fly, but on the other hand, I didn't want Sarah to fly, because Meelie No would be upset because she was too young to do it. I could have kissed the lady behind the table because she provided me with the perfect excuse I needed. This way, there was no real whining and it wasn't Mom's fault. This can always be construed as a good thing in my book.

The children really enjoyed the Firehouse Exhibit. I think that in their minds, that was by far the best thing of the day. They had a lot of activities for the kids. They even got to go climb around on a Coast Guard Vessel. Their favorite was the "tour" of the "house", which was a small trailer. They took them on a tour, let them watch a little video to teach them what they had to do in case of a fire, and then tested them on it...with real smoke in a room and all. Of course, for the rest of the weekend, I heard all about it and we have been discussing making an escape route in our house.

All in all, I'd say not a bad day.

Note to readers: I have been working on this post since Saturday evening. If it seems that it's a bit disjointed and lacking continuity, it probably is. My mind is in a haze after the weekend.

It's all about the jellyfish

Today's subject matter encompasses a variety of topics which are completely unrelated. Simply put, this means I'm going to ramble on about whatever pops into my head in no particular order. This will surely irritate most of you, and for that, I apologize in advance.

Note to readers: This post is easier to understand after consumption of a vast amount of Rum and Coke (or your choice of sedative) and a bottle of aspirin. Your head will hurt, but you won't care.

Let's talk jellyfish. Why? Relax, I'm getting there.

The girls were sitting outside on the driveway, coloring. That is not to say they were coloring ON the driveway, but on boxes. Their little buddy Austin (possible love interest for Melie No), was there with them.

Moobear, in her typical, no-nonsense fashion, states "Mom! Sarah told me that she saw Austin holding hands with Meelie No!" There were a thousand responses tumbling through my head at this point. All I could muster was "Oh?" (I'm really holding my ground here, doncha know?) Austin then told me that he let my daughter hold his backpack (what a guy!), but she promptly toppled over because of its' weight. I am now not thrilled with my future son-in-law. Always quick to reassure, Melee No pipes up with "don't worry mom, we aren't romantic." I was vastly relieved as this meant I would not be planning a wedding in the near future.

Back to the jellyfish. I'll do my best to repeat this conversation verbatim, but realize I was deeply traumatized by the explanation.

Austin: Have you ever gotten stung by a jellyfish?

Girls: No.

Austin: I have (his chest puffed out).

Girls: What did it feel like?

At this point, I know I should have just stood up, went back in the houuse, and gotten a glass of wine. Being inordinately nosey, this was of course, beyond my capabilities. It wasn't hard to talk myself into staying.

Speaking of talking to myself, I'd like to mention that this is something I do on a regular basis. I mean, I've gotten it down to an art. It starts when I get up in the morning. I begin conversations that help me plan my day. I discuss what I need to do, and in what order. It continues when I drive into work. I must confess that I get a lot of funny looks, but that's ok. What do people expect? I am from California after all. Thankfully, I can control the urge for stimulating conversation with myself while I'm at work, though I have been known to talk to my computer. This stimulating conversation continues on through the evening, until I close my eyes and drift off to la-la land.

Some people would question this behavior, and perhaps believe that I am seriously in need of a long stay at Happy Meadows. I, on the other hand, have no doubt that I am perfectly sane. I ask myself that question all the time. An my answer is always yes! One good thing about talking to yourself is that you never lose an argument. If you do, call the Manager at Happy Meadows, he'll leave the light on for you.

OK, on with the jellyfish. This might be a good time to review the earlier comments about jellyfish in case I have totally lost you. While you're at it, go get yourself another Rum & Coke.

Note: Remember, these are Austin's words.

Austin: Well, I was at the beach and I went into the water. All of a sudden something bit me. It was like a pinch. I thought it was a crab bite so I got out of the water and took a look at it. It was this red bump. Then it really started to hurt. And the bump go bigger and redder. Then it started to sorta turn purple, and it started t swell. And it was really hurting. Then I started to cry (the girls issued words of never-ending support at the agony he must have endured. I, on the other hand, just sat there thinking that if I knew what was good for me, I'd stop the flow of words coming out of his mouth.)

Austin continues: So I walked over to my dad, and I showed the bump to him. He told me that I'd gotten stung by a jellyfish. I was really crying hard because it was hurting so much. So he told me that the best way to make it stop hurting was to pee on it" (thank you Austin's dad). And then he stopped talking. It was obvious he was waiting or a response. I just sat there fighting for composure with my mouth wide open (the gnats around here love it when that happens).

Amelia then chimed in with "Ew, that's disgusting!" (I guess the romance is off)

In conclusion, I'd like to end this entry with some sage advice.

1. Never read my posts without consuming large amounts of alcohol and aspirin.
2. Never listen in on children's conversations.
3. Never talk o yourself in front of anyone.
4. Never respond to your child when they say "pull my finger."

Oh wait! Number 4 is for another post. What is it about bodily functions that fascinate a child so much? Dare I examine that one closely? I think not. Just look what happened with the jellyfish.

I will not eat this Sam I am

I will not eat them, they are not round,
I will not eat them underground,
Please, please, please take them away,
I won't eat these dumplings any day.

But Moobear dear, they're good for you,
They'll make you cute like Winnie the Pooh,
What's this I see, you lift your snout,
I can not stand it when you pout.

I will not eat them, why don't you?
I do not like this Winnie the Pooh,
At least I am not twitching my eye,
I still won't eat them, hear me sigh.

Go off I say, into your room.
Climb into bed, please do not loom,
If you'll not eat these dumplings today,
No ice cream for you, I say, I say!

So in conclusion, a battle was fought at dinner time between the evil parent (She Who Must be Obeyed) and Miss Idontwanttoeventryanythingnew. We have a rule. You do not have to like it but you must try it. Let's be fair here. The portion I gave her was no bigger than a teaspoon. Granted, it did have a carrot in it, but I purposely left out the celery. How lenient do you want me to be. I reiterated the fact that all she had to do was try it (eat the teaspoon I gave her), and I would make her something else. She resisted, I wouldn't budge. She whined, I asked her if she would like cheese to go with that. She cried and said I was mean. I agreed and told her it would only get worse. She said she hated me. I told her that it was ok. I loved her enough for the both of us. She got mad. I held my ground. She went to bed. It was a quiet night.

On the other hand, Meelie No loved it. She took one of the biscuits and made a sandwich out of it, and ate it that way. Then had another biscuit to mop up the sauce. Go figure. Hey..at least she at the carrots.

A little bit of humor: I was browsing my husbands blog tonight and saw that he had some good answering machine messages on it. My favorite on is this:

Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

You can view the post here.

And that, my friends, is it for tonight. At least for now. The battle of dinner will soon begin again. We are having left over pork loin roast, some rice and salad, fried apples for the girls and one of those icky veggies. Round 2 coming up!

I feel like chicken tonight!

No..not like the real thing. I am happy to say that the operation was a success and all of my feathers have been removed. I feel so liberated. I no longer have the urge to eat chicken feed...I can't say the same about chicken feet though.

What I was referring to was chicken and dumplings. It's been ages since I've made anything like that. Now, in this post "made'" is a term I use loosely. I did it in a crockpot. Ok, ok...I confess (but don't tell Martha), I was shopping at Wallyworld this weekend and saw "Crockpot Chicken and Dumplings." Me, being no dummy, said "hmmmm...interesting." (Is that a brilliant thought or WHAT?) Again, I am digressing (what's new...I do ramble don't I?). I decided to give it a try and it's cooking away. I love the smell of things you cook in a crockpot. Just walking in that door, taking a deep breath, becoming intoxicated with the aroma coming from the kitchen. Unless of course you are 10 years old.

Moobear: What are we having for dinner?
Me: Chicken and Dumplins (notice the southern accent?)
Moobear: But I don't like chicken and dumplings.
Me: But you've never had them (I told you I hadn't made them in a long time)
Moobear: I know, but I still don't like them.
Me: Well, you have to try one, and you have to have some chicken and carrots to go with it.

On a side note, she jumped at the chicken part...and nearly made it without gagging on the carrot part. I have two children. One that eats anything, and one that doesn't. Can you guess which one Moobear is?

Moobear: How big are the dumplings?
Me: I promptly showed her using the necessary hand movements.
Moobear: She immediately began negotiating for a smaller size.
Me again: She didn't win.
Moobear: But moooooooooooom!
Me: Yes my love, my life, my reason for living?
Moobear: She gave me that rolling eyes thing that kids do. Whyyyyyyyy?????
Me: Because you need to learn to eat new things. Things that are healthy. They do not include Spaghettios, Top Ramen, hot dogs or macaroni and cheese. I know this is difficult for you to understand but one day you will thank me. And for the last time! Ice Cream is not part of the 5 basic food groups!

At this point she went off to do something, non- mom involved, muttering at how mean I was and that she was going to starve.

You know what the really evil thing is? I had this saying that just kept popping through my head. My girls chant it a lot and I don't know where it comes from.

"I'm the Queen of the Caaaaastle, and you're a dirty raaascle."

And before you ask, no, I've got no idea why that keeps popping in my head. Oh gawd! The voices have started up again!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got biscuits to pop in the oven, kids to snuggle (albeit Meelie-No is now crashed), and, well, real life stuff to do. Can you imagine that?

Did I tell you that I found my car keys in the pickle jar this morning?

Replan! Replan! Replan!

As my friends know, I'm a financial analyst. One of the accounts I take care of has, how can I put this, seriously blew past their budget in just one week.

Side note here, I'm not an accountant (bean counter). Just wanted to make that clear. I am a planner, scheduler, forecaster, estimator, proposal writer type.

Last week I had gotten together with the manager, supervisor and business group lead (BGL) to discuss a recovery plan. Due to the hurricanes, we had become seriously behind schedule. I needed to know from them, just what we were looking at in terms of hours/headcount. I didn't even want to think of the damage it was going to do to the dollars.

We sat down and got a week by week/month by month plan. We overran this particular item in a seriously bad way last year and had to go in for variance funding, (please Mr. Navy Boss, we need more money) so this year, (naturally, my boss decided that I needed to take this account now) we are going to be tracked very closely. Even more so, now that we are in recovery mode. Not a big deal. Just a bit more work which I don't mind.

Well, this morning I pulled the actuals to see how close we came to our plan. I wish I wouldn't have. I immediately sent an email to the manager/supervisor/BGL, as well as my own supervisor and BGL.

Hi all you lovely people who want me to lose my job,

I have just pulled last weeks actuals and it seems that we are a bit off in our numbers. It only took the paramedics 5 minutes to revive me, but I'm ok now. I just need to take it easy. I've developed a twitch in my right eye and am hearing voices. But hey..it's ok, really. The doctor said with proper medication and weekly visits with my psychiatrist, that I will be able to resume somewhat of a normal life.

It seems that you have seriously blown past your budget for the month in just one week. Man, you are good. I've been doing this kind of thing for a long time and I've never worked with someone so talented. I'm still trying to figure out how you nearly TRIPLED your planned overtime. I'm sure that my hearing aid must have been turned off when you gave me your recovery plan. Was I mistaken in thinking that part of your plan was to do shift work, which would mitigate your overtime? I'm recommending, that perhaps, this would not be a good time to go ahead and hire the extra FIVE people you wanted to bring on board in November until we get this straightened out. Do you think there is any way that we can delay bringing the 4 that you submitted offers to this month until say, July of next year? Ok..maybe I'm overracting just a tiny bit. It is my greatest wish that your people are going to take a lot of vacation, and soon, even though you are seriously behind schedule. Got anyone scheduled for surgery?

Sincerely,

Your now psychopathic analyst

And that my friends, was how my day started. I've updated my resume and am prepared to go out into the world and present myself.

Yo! Dude! Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, special orders don't upset us, all's we ask is that you let us serve it your way!

So it goes!

Nine Inch Nails or NIN

No, not the musical group, but I must secretly confess to enjoying their music.

Moobear had a sleepover on Friday night at a friend's house. She had a great time, but came home Saturday afternoon with seriously long (fake) nails, makeup on (let's not forget the bright red lipstick) and interesting clothing (let's just say I could have fit her sister in the jeans she was wearing). The top she was wearing was one of those long flowing types that reminded me of Woodstock days gone by. Of course, she added to the effect by wearing a huge t-shirt underneath it, and adorning herself with beads, both around the neck and on her wrist. She completed the look with a colorful hair twist.

I consider myself a modern mother, and encourage my children to express themselves....to a point. This one pushed on the border of even what I consider to be a little over the edge. Suffice to say, when she asked me if she could go outside and play with Michael, I had to think fast. In retrospect, I felt that nothing she was wearing was too over-the-top. I was hoping that my neighbors would cue into the fact that this child of mine (whom I am absolutely convinced was switched at birth) was in dress-up mode. If that didn't work, I figure they'd take the attitude of: Well, what did you expect? They are from California, the land of the fruits and nuts!

So, I took current inventory on what I was dealing with:

1. Pants big enough and long enough to house the Empire State Building.
2. Long flowing top, with room upstairs to house what she doesn't have right now.
3. Large t-shirt, down to knees which hides the fact that she doesn't have anything to house in the long flowing blouse.
   
4. Nine inch nails
5. Costume jewelry
6. Hippie hairdo
7. Enough makeup to work on the corner of Market and 3rd.

Now, let's factor in that she is only 10 years old (just). She LOVES to play dress-up, albeit not in the way I had imagined. To keep this short, I told her she had to put a belt on. There will be no pants worn where the crotch goes down to the knees damnit! Obviously, this is still just dress-up for her, because all she said was "ok." I got off easy on this one I think. I shudder to think of the clothing battles that lay ahead. Did I tell you she has an 8 1/2 women's size foot? And that she likes to wear my shoes?

Please...let's not talk about how long it takes me to find a matching pair of shoes in the morning.

Mozilla and Blogger

Seems that Internet Explorer doesn't support some of Bloggers functions. Big surprise! NOT! As time goes on, I've noticed that IE really sucks. Sorry, but it does. The list I have is endless. One of the nice features of Blogger is that it has an edit mode, which makes posting something just as easy as whipping out a document in MS Word (oh man...did I say MS?) I'm fully capable of coding my own posts, but it's so much quicker to do it the simple way. There are allot of other browsers out there that are very good, no doubt. I just happen to have Mozilla on a couple of my machines, and started to use it. Especially once I realized that it supports Bloggers many functions.

Why is this important you ask? No real reason. Just makes my life a little more easier. :D

What are your favorite browsers?

I love my Sister-in-Law

I know there aren't many folks out there who can say that, but for me, it's true. Miss C. is one of those types of people that I can be completely honest with at all times, and she never, ever turns away. That's not to say when she thinks I'm more full of stinky stuff than a Christmas turkey that she won't get in my face and tell me so.

Take last week for instance. I got a curt, well thought out email from her. I'd been wallowing in self-pity for too long and she was the one who was honest enough to bring me out of my funk. She told me "point blank" that I had hurt her because I hadn't communicated with her in a long time. Now, me and Miss C. aren't all that great at emailing back and forth on a regular basis, but when important things happen, we do. I had failed miserably in that aspect.

I'm rather myopic when bad things happen around me. For example, my folks got hit hard by one of the many hurricanes blasting their way through here, and had allot of damage to their house. I mean ALLOT. I didn't tell her that. My husband got a job, albeit part-time, but I didn't pass that on. Her birthday came and went without a peep from me (or my husband, but he already posted about that on his blog). Let's be honest here. I was an asshat. And she told me, in no uncertain terms, that I was an asshat.

Belive it or not, I really love her for it. I needed a kick in the pants to stir me up. Engough was enough.

Miss C., I'm an asshat, but I'm glad you love me anyway.

Now, I'm off to fix the midget terrorists my darling children an their friends some lunch. Would you like pickles on that burger?

Asshat

I love that term. It encompasses a variety of meanings throughout life. I first heard this term when a particular blog written by Rachel Lucas was brought to my attention by the other guy that lives here, sometimes known as my husband, or on a particularly bad day, asshat (but that's for a different post...love ya hon).

I love that term. Now, you can't go walking up to your boss and say "you know what, you're an asshat." That's not what I would call a good career move. If you do this, in the future you might find yourself saying "would you like fries with that?" Of course, if you lost your last job because you called your boss an asshat, you probably won't do well in people oriented industry. "You want to hold the pickles on your hamburger? Don't be such an asshat. You get the burger the way it shows up on the menu. No have it your way here dude."

Now, I've got nothing against Rachel. She seems like a terrific person and she absolutley adores her dogs, which brings her way up in my book, such as it is. But, she pretty much writes about all the political stuff happening, and that kind of thing. Now me, I'm not into that, though from time to time, I do read the newspapers, roll my eyes, and get on with my day. I really can't be bothered. I rely on my husband to tell me when it's time to pack up the house, and move to a different country. I mean really, I've got better stuff to do. Like wipe snotty noses and play bend and squat (picking up interesting things that are left in the wake of my terrorist children). You can get in alot of deep knee bends that way.

But I digress. Rachel, and others who have a wonderful, witty, intelligent and sometimes frustrating (they piss me off) writing ability on those type of topics are quite different from what I write about. Me? I'm just a mom. Ok, I'm a working mom. Ok, I'm a...well, this could get long so suffice to say, I'm not interested in politics. I'm not interested in the fact that Mr. Bill did not have sex with that woman. I'm not interested in the fact that Kerry is an asshat (there's that word again), with a revolving platform. I leave that kind of thing to the proffessionals, husband included (he has a whole list of them on his blog). Oh, I do have very strong opinions on the war on Iraq, but I really don't want to write about them here. That's not what I'm about. Well, at least right now.

My life revolves around my kids and my work, trying to keep the family intact, and battling anything else that gets in my way. Whoah..you say to yourself. She's is one boring woman one cool chick. The nice thing about it is, it's my blog so I can write about what I want. I'll leave the dirty stuff to the controversial one who has a desk in here as well.

So, where was I? How the hell should I know? I know I had a point. I think I left it with my car keys.

So..I mentioned that Moobear is gone for the night

And I got sucked into a sleepover that I didn't realize was going to happen? So, we decide, ok..let's take the kids out to eat for something special. I mean, what the hell? Why not? In all actuality, it was a hit. There is this Chinese/American buffet downtown that is awesome. Turns out the kids think so too.

Course..tomorrow, I'll most likely pay for this adventure into foods I shouldn't be having. Truth be told, I've been paying for a while. I'm in a funk and I don't know why. Why the hell am I making myself suffer? If I keep it up I'll land flat on my back in the hospital again.

I'm just so pissed!!! What the hell did I do to deserve this? You ever get that way? I'll get back on track again. I suspect I just needed a little bit of, oh, I don't know..guess you could call it rebellion.

One day I was fine, next..going on vacation with my husband, sans kids, first time since oldest was born. Second day of vacation...hmm...abdominal pains...next day, drive back, go to doctors. Have ultra sound two days later...wait a WEEK for results...no, not what we thought...get scheduled for CT scan..next day have scan..whooopss...baaaaaaad thing. Get transferred by ambulance, emergency surgery indicated. Whoops...good Dr. says...lets try no food/no drink..for a week..massive antibiotics. Long in the short..after the longest week of my life (with a hell of a lot of support from my family)..I get out of hospital. Still on antibiotics..can't walk (weak)..nauseous from drug...about 4 weeks later things pick up. Long in the short of it...Doc Cut-Me-Open wants to wait to see how things are.

Now..I wait. Gotta say..things aren't looking the greatest...course, right now I ain't helping matters any.

Too much stuff going on...gonna make it get better..yes???

New Distributed Computing Project

I've started a new Distributed Computing project called FAD now that Distributed Folding has finished Phase II. Not sure how I like it yet. The stats don't update very often (few times a day) and I'm not sure how that will coincide with my "statsaholicwannabe" personality. Truth be told, I want something I can run, that will contribute to science, AND not take alot of my time. In other words, install it, set it up, and let it run. I don't have the time to babysit it, nor do I have the time to leaf through pages of FAQs to find out how to set it up best on my system. Get this...I have a life. :) One outside computers. And my kids figure into that life alot more than anything else. More on this later as I have time to analyze what I think about it.

Another thing to point out about this is that I only use my boxen. Well, mine and my lesser half (when I can talk him into it). I don't have the luxury of running computers from my work (drool...ah, I'd be queen), nor am I working for a relative (Daddy?) that lets me run clients from there.

Don't get me wrong...Borging a computer is fine. But...well, that's for another post. I just don't like the idea of the way some folks go about doing it.

D-day is coming

Well, it's past 6:00 pm. The lesser-half should be arriving soon. Got any good ideas about how I should tell them about and unexpected guest for tonight?

Some folks call me sarcastic

Hey..there isn't a sarcastic bone in my body...well, ok, if you look a little bit I'm sure you'll find some. You ever work with folks who do nothing but complain about work? Hello dunderbutt..if you are that unhappy, go someplace else. I don't have time to listen to you. Venting is one thing. The group that I am in at work does their fair share of that. It's cool though...cuz...ya know...we are still there and able to have fun...and let me tell ya..there is enough stress in there to cook a turkey in 1.5 hours.

I love my job...but damnit...I wish they'd stop counting on me. I've just got two new assignments..which excite the hell out of me but now "I'm" stressed because I have no clue as to what's going on. It's like that when you are learning new things. I have to say that a bunch of lightbulbs were going off the other day. I'm starting to get a handle on it. I'ts gonna be a bumpy yet fun ride.

Moobear's 10th Birthday Party

I won't add anything here except for the fact that everyone had a great time. The adults on the other hand, had to take pain killers for a few days.

The Party

I sooooo regret not trying out that slide.

Well, at least now they are cleaning

The little terrorists who have weaned their way in my home are now in for a night of suprises. One of which is: "Meelie-No, if you want Little Miss to spend the night you have to clean your room."

Heh...damn thing is, they are excited about it and having fun. Thing is, I could tell them they need to clean the toilets next and they would be happy about it.

So it goes.

I've been had

Whoever said that children don't have the brains that God gave a box of rocks is fooling themselves.

My eldest midget terrorist, Moobear, is off having a sleepover at a friends house. My youngest, Meelie-No, of course, immediately had a problem with this. "It's not FAIR." You know the picture.

I little later, Meelie-No and Little Miss (Meelie-No's buddy) came over and asked if they could have a sleepover at (this is what I thought they said) Little Miss's house. They came back from asking appropriate parents, and Little Miss was wearing a backpack. Filled with her clothes.

Me: Little Miss, why are you wearing a backpack?

LM: For the sleepover.

So, tell me...am I gonna say no now? Little Miss's mom has been led to believe that I have ok'd the sleepover. The girls are excited about it. Let's forget the fact that I was looking forward to an evening sans kids. That doesn't come into play.

The cards have been played. The dealer is waiting. You know how it goes. What I would like to know is just what I'm gonna tell my husband who is blissfully unaware of all of this while he is at work.

Me: Hi honey! Guess Whaaaaatttttt?????????

I'm baaaaack :D

Well, for a little bit anyways. I had a major case of writer's block as well as just being too busy doing other stuff to write. That and I probably had a good case of "lazy rump-itis."

Been working a bit on a Halloween Page for fun. I've been putzing around a bit with PaintShop Pro. Fun stuff though it's painfully obvious I'm a beginner.

Been busy getting ready for the "Great Birthday Party". I've got plenty of vodka stashed away to get me through it. Saturday is the day. It should be fun...if I live through it.

Now..it's time to go get dinner ready. I'll be back and try to post a bit more...at least a couple of times a week.

Mood: Tiredish-cranky
Background Noise: TV

Today is the day

That I tackle the rest of those boxes!

No, really I mean it.

I'll be doing alot of work around the house today. Lots of pickup and unpacking. My goal is to get, at the very minimum, one car in the garage. The hope is for both of them, but I'm not adverse to take small steps.

I've got plans for the basic primer white that the previous owners left on the walls, and now that I do, I'm raring to go. I've also got alot of work to do on the yard, but I don't want to get too far ahead of myself.

Life is good.

The kids are happy.

Other half got a sreening interview with the company I work at. Hey, even if nothing comes of it, it's a bite. He also has a possiblity at another job.

Got released from having to go back to the doctor for an entire month.

Things are looking up.

It's definitely good to be me.

Mood: Content
Background Noise: Blissful Silence

Virtual Etch A Sketch

Some things never die. I've always felt that the original Etch A Sketch was much better than the "MagnaDoodles" that they have out now.

How many of you played with this when you were younger? I wonder how long this has been in exisitence?

Play it HERE.

Former President Reagan dies at 93

"My family and I would like the world to know that President Ronald Reagan has passed away after 10 years of Alzheimer's disease at 93 years of age. We appreciate everyone's prayers," Nancy Reagan said in a statement. Nancy Reagan, along with children Ron and Patti Davis, were at the couple's Los Angeles home when Reagan died at 1 p.m. PDT of pneumonia complicated by Alzheimer's disease, said Joanne Drake, who represents the family. Son Michael arrived a short time later, she said.

For more on the story, read HERE.

Mood: Calm but pshyched
Background Noise: Dogs barking

How far with the Penguin go???

You be the judge......

The Penguin is now beginning to make inroads into Microsoft's home territory on the desktop and handheld devices, incorporating other open source application software and middleware.

Read more HERE.



Mood: Thoughtful
Background Noise: "I see packed boxes"

Bubble Wrap

It has to be the most awesome invention since sliced bread. Ok, ok, it's great for packing things in, but don't you remember as a kid how much fun it was to pop all of the bubbles?

Yes, I realize I'm an adult and I'm supposed to be past these things. Give me a break. Since I took that stupid personality test, I'm now knowns as MissGeorgiaPeachIdontinhalenordoIhavesex. I'm entitled. And for those of you wusses who don't want to admit that you still love the stuff, I'll provide the LINK.

Mood: Giddy
Background Noise: Tiny bubbles......

Similar Minds

I took a few personality tests, and answered 45 questions for each...what did you come up with? I was hoping for something like "Pretty Woman" for the movie personality test. I really don't want to talk about the leader test. I think I've been scarred for life.

Don't ask what the other half got. I may have to ask him to change his place of residence.


The Movie





The Leader





Mood: Grossed out
Background Noise: Hide and seek

Linksys routers may be open to remote sniffing

Cisco hasn't touched Linksys code in near a year By Fernando Cassia: Wednesday 02 June 2004, 07:37 FOLKS AT security portal SecuriTeam published on May 17 an exploit that could allow hackers and other nasty people to remotely sniff traffic passing through the router, and also crash the device. The article says it all comes down to a "memory leak", causing a flaw in the way the Linksys routers' DHCP server returns BOOTP protocol packets. This exploit is currently listed at position #3 in the SecuriTeam.com front page, so expect lots of script kiddies to be playing with it as we write (and you read) this.

Read more HERE.

Mood: Happy
Background Noise: Tractor

After Legal Success, Lindows CEO Comes Out Swinging

Emboldened by a recent court ruling in his favor, Lindows CEO Michael Robertson is calling on Microsoft to compete with his company in the marketplace, not in the courtroom. "Bill [Gates], I don't want your $1158," Robertson wrote in an open letter to Microsoft that he posted on Lindows' Web site yesterday, alluding to the fee a Dutch judge required Microsoft to pay Lindows. "I just want a chance to compete and grow my company. If you can think back to when you started Microsoft, sure there were big companies like IBM, but they didn't use the ruthless tactics that Microsoft now employs. How could you have built your company in that kind of environment?"

I wonder how this will all turn out? I wonder if Lindows will be able to make it? I know what Microsoft has done in the past (obliterate the competition), but one day, the gorilla must fall. It will be interesting to see if Mr. Robertson will be the one to do it.

For the full article, look HERE.

Mood: Alive
Background Noise: Children noises

Short Takes

By Paul Thurrott: thurrott@winnetmag.com

An often irreverent look at some of the week's other news...

Here Comes Microsoft's EU Appeal
Next week, Microsoft will likely issue its appeal of the European Union (EU) decision that labeled the company a monopoly that abuses its power and harms the media-player and server markets. The company is expected to ask the European Court of First Instance in Luxembourg to suspend the sanctions that the EU's March decision imposed. And if you were worried about the differences between US and European court systems, fear not; they have one major similarity. Although a European court hearing on the sanctions suspension should happen in a mere couple of months, Microsoft's entire appeals process will probably drag on for years. Ah, you can just smell the fresh scent of justice in the air, can't you?

Microsoft: Brazil's Use of Linux Is Making the Country 'Irrelevant'
The president of Microsoft Brazil fretted this week that his country's decision to adopt Linux for use in public-use computers will set back Brazil for years. "If the country closes itself off again as it did when it protected its information technology, 10 years from now we will wake up and be dominant in something insignificant," Emilio Umeoka said this week. "Irrelevance is the beginning of the end." Umeoka is referring to a decision Brazil made 20 years ago to protect its IT sector with high tariffs, a decision that cost the country dearly because it couldn't attract foreign investment during a time that should have been high growth. "I don't know if this is the best way to attract investment into the country," he said. "I know this is not the best way to create a base of development from which to export because there's no revenue from something that's free." Umeoka said that the Brazilian government's decision won't hurt Microsoft's sales in the country; he's just concerned that Brazil will miss out on yet another enormous economic opportunity.

Intel Expects Better Revenues in Current Quarter
This week, microprocessor giant Intel revised its earnings forecast for the current quarter, alerting investors that its earnings will be higher than previously anticipated. The reason? Intel is experiencing higher-than-expected demand for the flash memory chips that manufacturers use in cell phones. Meanwhile, demand for Intel's microprocessors remains in line with its earlier estimates, the company said.

Intel Preps New 64-Bit Pentium 4 Chips
And speaking of Intel, the chipmaker will soon unleash a bevy of new PC microprocessors, including the long-awaited 64-bit version of its best-selling Pentium 4 processor. Five of the upcoming chips, which are part of the Prescott family of Pentium 4 processors, will debut June 21 alongside new chip sets and will feature speeds ranging from 2.8GHz to 3.6GHz. Later in the summer, Intel will release three other new Pentium 4 processors, which will include the 64-bit extensions; those chips will run at 3.6GHz, 3.4GHz, and 3.2GHz and will initially target the workstation market. Intel says it will also ship 64-bit-enabled versions of its Xeon processors sometime this summer. All of Intel's 64-bit Pentium 4 and Xeon chips will support the so-called No Execute (NX) processor technology, which works in tandem with a software feature in Windows XP Service Pack 2 (SP2) to pervasively prevent buffer-overrun errors, which attackers often use to compromise Windows machines.

Microsoft Scraps Another Game
In another strange setback for Microsoft's gaming plans, the company said this week that it has instructed game-maker LEVEL-5 to cancel production of "True Fantasy Live Online," an eagerly awaited Xbox title that's been perpetually delayed since it was first announced more than 2 years ago. Stating that it can't deliver gamers a "novel" experience with the title, Microsoft finally decided to pull the plug. "True Fantasy Live Online" was intended for the Japanese market and would have been the first Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game (MMORPG) for the Xbox. Earlier this year, Microsoft canceled its entire 2004 lineup of XSN Sports titles, citing an inability to compete with market-leader Electronic Arts (EA). EA, perhaps not coincidentally, then unexpectedly announced that it will support Microsoft's Xbox Live online gaming service, reversing an earlier decision to ignore the service.

AOL Settles with Former Subscribers
Everybody's favorite online service for newbies announced this week that it's settling a class-action lawsuit with a group of former subscribers who complained that their subscriptions were canceled for no reason. AOL, now the smallest province in the Time Warner empire, denied liability in the case and was able to settle for an undisclosed amount. Presumably, the former subscribers have been without Internet access for the duration, but I'm sure AOL would be happy to give them back their old screen names, which no doubt include references to favorite pets and TV sitcom characters. Somehow, everything is right with the world again.

SCO Is at It Again, Seeks More IBM Code
This story would be funny if it weren't so sad. After spending more than 2 months reviewing the AIX source code that IBM supplied, litigation-loving SCO Group is apparently having trouble finding all those examples of stolen source code (similar, I suppose, to the problems that the United States has had finding weapons of mass destruction in Iraq) that it complained about in its $1 billion lawsuit against IBM. So SCO is ... get this ... asking the court to require IBM to give SCO even more source code so it can keep looking. Now, I'm not a legal expert, but shouldn't SCO put up or shut up? And remind me again: What, exactly, is the penalty for mounting a frivolous lawsuit in this country?

DOJ vs. Oracle: Now It's Ellison's Turn
On Monday, database giant Oracle will face off against the US Department of Justice (DOJ) in a federal court in San Francisco during the opening of a lawsuit designed to prevent Oracle's hostile takeover of PeopleSoft. But unlike a certain other lawsuit involving a huge software company and the DOJ, this case is expected to conclude fairly quickly. Each side gets 2 weeks to present its case, and a verdict is expected shortly thereafter. The DOJ is going to argue that an Oracle takeover of PoepleSoft will leave the market with only two companies--Oracle and SAP--that supply the high-end human resources and financial-management software that enterprises use to run their businesses. Presumably, Oracle will argue that, if it had its way, only one supplier of such software would exist. And Oracle CEO Larry Ellison would be the richest man in the world.

Microsoft Announces "Does Your Code Think In Ink?" Contest Winners
This week, Microsoft announced that the winner of its "Does Your Code Think In Ink?" contest, which rewarded innovative software design for the Tablet PC, is Philip Lanier. Lanier won for his cool MyOwnFont tool, which lets you submit samples of your handwriting, then replaces the Windows XP Tablet PC Edition system font with a font that matches your handwriting. For his efforts, Lanier won $15,000 in cash; runners-up received $2500 each. For details about the winning entries and free downloads of the applications, visit the "PC Magazine" Web site.

Mood: Relaxed
Background Noise: Nothing..the way I like it

The age old question

A chicken and an egg were laying in bed.

The chicken was smoking a cigarette and had this very satisfied look on it's face.

The egg's face had a big frown.

After a little while the egg said .....




" Well I guess we answered that question".

Mood: Relaxed
Background Noise: Kids playing school

Gay Marriage Foes Work to Reverse Ruling

By DAVID CRARY, AP National Writer BOSTON - With gays and lesbians now legally wed in Massachusetts, foes of gay marriage vowed Tuesday to campaign hard, in state and national elections, for candidates willing to reverse the tide.

Uhhh...why do you want to reverse it? California does it (ok, maybe that wasn't a good example).

I guess I really just don't get it. Ok, I know what the definition of marriage is. But why is that "set in stone?" Why can't gay couples get married? Why can't they have the right to insurance and all of the other benefits that heterosexual couples have? And that brings up another sore spot for me. Why can't they be considered good candiates as parents, through adoption or other means? Society tends to think of homosexuals as perverts. If they do that behind closed doors, what will they do to the children? Oh for God's sake people! Wake up and smell the bacon. They are human's just like us, capable of love, albeit of the opposite sex. Ok, I don't get it, but I don't begrudge them the right to love someone of the same sex. There are "bad" people out there everywhere, be it a homosexual or heterosexual.

"Homosexual couples are not the enemy," said Raymond Flynn, a former Boston mayor and foe of gay marriage. "The enemy is the legislators who ignored and betrayed the people of Massachusetts by not giving them an opportunity to express their point of view."

Yeah right Mr. Flynn. Why not take a look around you? I would imagine that a large majority of the folks don't really have a problem with it, but probably don't want to admit it. Most likely, it upsets your masculinity, you moron. If you look at the politicians who are fighting the hardest against it, you'll find the one's who are coming up for re-election. Whooo..did I tell you your nose was a lovely shade of brown?

Legislators wrangled for months after the state Supreme Judicial Court, in a 4-3 decision last November, ruled that gay couples were entitled to marry. Eventually, in a compromise that dismayed activists on each side, lawmakers took the first step toward letting voters decide in 2006 if they want to amend the constitution to ban gay marriages and allow gay couples enter civil unions.

Actually, I think letting the people vote is a good thing. It might suprise alot of people.

"President Bush needs to do more than make a public statement," Staver said. "He should appoint a pro-marriage advocate to his staff whose sole job is to push forward a constitutional amendment ... to educate, motivate and direct the strategy."

No shit Sherlock. Let's get on with it.

Mood: Chip on shoulder
Background Noise: Kidz Bop

Can you explain this?

Why is there day to day coverage on the abuse of Iraqi prisoners, but very little of the senseless, horrific, despicable (stop men when I've gone to far) beheading of Nicholas Berg? When will this stop?

After seeing two video files last night of Mr. Berg being beheaded by terrorist kidnappers I'm hardly surprised that President Bush has removed the kid gloves (I won't hold my breath about this though)!

The fight in Iraq is dirty. Terrorism does not make for a tidy, unsoiled war (kind of an oxymoron isn't it?). Lets face it. Whenever a country is occupied, there will always be factions that will fight for the power themselves, and that doesn't necessarily coincide with what is best for the country.

Leaving Iraq in the hands of these fanatics would be a disaster for everybody. It is probable that the Middle East would eventually be under their leadership (think oil). Do we really want to have a super-power with such a hatred of American's?

It's time for Bush to stand up and take action. He needs to stop choosing his targets so carefully. It's time to jump in and take control of this situation completely. How many more innocent people will die before this all stops?


Mood: Grumpy
Background Noise: Silence

Holes in the backyard

For a few weeks now, I've been noticing small holes show up in our front yard. They are the kind that could do some serious damage to the foot/ankle area if you stepped on one and didn't know they were there. I originally thought there were put there by our fearless, insect stalking, toad eating dog. Turns out, I was wrong. They are from Armadillos. I wonder if there is a way to Armadillo proof you yard?

Mood: Resigned
Background Noise: Lunchtime natter

Alligators

I wish I would have gotten a picture of it. You too, can have an alligator in your "back yard." Just come visit me and I'll show you how.

This weekend, we were in our backyard on our deck, enjoying a peaceful evening. One of the terrorists was spending the night with a friend, and one was sleeping peacefully, well, until later, but that's a different story.

While we were there, we noticed a truck in off to the side of our privacy fence in the backyard, and then watched as someone came up behind our fence, shining a flashlight. The other half, being naturally concerned/bothered/curious, took a flashlight and went to the back fence. The "body" on the other side said (I kid you not) "it's ok, I'm just looking for an alligator." My immediate thought was this guy was on some really good drugs (can I have some?), or he was one sandwich short of a picnic basket (probably because of all the drugs he took during they height of Woodstock days gone by).

Fast forward...Turns out, someone across the pond (it's behind our fence), had called 911 to report an alligator. To make a long story short, we watched a couple of men climb into a boat, and search for the alligator, then catch it. What was really neat was after they properly secured him, one of the men climbed on to shore and carried the alligator over to us so we could see it.

The gator was about 3 1/2 feet long (from head to foot) and the colors on it were absolutely stunning. We got to touch it, and I was amazed at how soft its skin was. They were going to relocate it, most likely taking it back to it's mom. All in all, it was a great thing to experience. I've only ever seen them in a zoo or a farm, so to see one up close an personal (albeit a small one) was a fascinating experience for me.



Mood: Thoughtful
Background Noise: Kim Possible

It's dusty in here

Ok, it's been a while and I'm not sure where to start. Guess I should get the normal stuff out of the way first.

The kids are doing great. Only five more days of school, but I'm not counting or anything. They are really keyed up and excited. Not that you can tell of course. They remind me of little Mexican jumping beans...bouncy, bouncy, bouncy....

Work is great. We just went through the proposal season which always promises long hours, and this was no exception. It was my first time through at actually writing them, and I enjoyed it but could have done without the stress that went along with it. I have to admit, though I wouldn't say this out loud, it's really and exciting time and you feel as if you are part of a team. The bad part was, not really being able to spend a lot of time with the kids.

The dog, well...she's great. Ok, damnit...she is an IDIOT. She stalks and eats any insect this side of the equator, and let me tell you....there are a lot of them here. I lost my bicycle to one of those bumblebees. You know the one's I'm talking about. They are about the size of a softball, and you need a baseball bat or a Glock to fend them off. The damn thing picked it up by the rear tire. I figure it was bringing it home to his son for a birthday present. And don't even get me started about toads! She eats them, and then has the audacity to come up to me, mouth foaming, and giving me that questioning look..."Mommy, will you please wipe my chin."

Twinkle, Dude Jr. and Rags are still with us. Twinkle was definitely "iffy" for a couple of days. I cleaned out her tank and thoroughly sterilized it, and put all the necessary chemicals in as well. He seems to be making a come back but it was questionable there for a few days.

Since I've moved, I've revamped the site a bit. This time with my graphics. I'll be adding more as time goes on. Have a lot of pictures up. Starting a recipe section but I have a lot of work to do yet. This is what it looks like now.

That's about it for the happenings at Moogie's World. I'm hoping to post more now, especially since school/softball/tball/proposals are ending soon. Did I mention that school will be out in FIVE days?

So it goes......

Mood:Mellow
Background Noise:Cooling Fans

Sand gnats

I'm not sure which is worse, toads or sand gnats. I was outside with the kids a lot yesterday, as well as the neighbors and they came out in droves. Today, I have little red dots all over the place that itch from time to time. I suppose I'll get used to it. I've learned that Off is my friend...Even though I do smell like a chemical plant when I have it on. Hey, I really don't care what I smell like, as long as I can keep the biting under control.

Electric fences and escaping dogs

We have a four-legged escape artist living in our midst. You can often hear in our house "close the door" or "Tiny, BACK!!!!. We ordered an electric fence that will help keep the dog from digging under the one we have in the back yard, as well as keep her in our back yard which does not have a fence. A few of our neighbors have them, and the swear by them. They have also said that they will help my husband install it. Now, Tiny is a great dog but there are times I wonder if she has a brain. Maybe she has one, but I believe she is afraid to use it. With my luck, the dog will ignore the shocks and just run right across the street to visit her buddies.

I feel like chili tonight

I've got to get a pot of chili going in the crockpot as it seems we are having our neighbors over for dinner. One of the main problems is that this state does not have the same ingredients that I used when I was in California. Now, I need to create a new recipe. I'm hoping that it all works out. I imagine it will. I think I worry too much.

The china hutch is in!

We finally got our china hutch in this week, and it's been sitting there empty ever since. This really irks me as I've got all kinds of things that I want to put in there. So, after I get the chili going, I'm going to be doing a lot of unpacking...weeeeeee! I think it's going to be a lot like Christmas.

Mood: Motivational
Background Noise: Kids playing

Stewart Predicts She'll Be Exonerated

It doesn't really surprise me all that much. In the beginning, I really felt that someone who didn't like her was out to get her. I couldn't understand why someone so rich, would do something so stupid, for a net gain of basically nothing compared to the vast empire she had.

Then I started following the story. As I read on and learned more, I started to get the impression that she felt that she could get away with it. After all, she was Martha Stewart.

Is she guilty? It still looks that way but I do believe that she has a better than even chance of getting away with it, and at most, getting a bit of a slap on the wrist. Let's face it. The woman is a bitch. But she's a damn filthy rich bitch. You know the saying. Money talks. Look what happened with O.J. Simpson.

Planes, trains and automobiles..oh yes, and toads

We live on an acre, and most of our land resides in our backyard. There's a privacy fence in the back, and directly behind that, is a lake. One of the things that this so called body of water hosts, is toads. Apparently, that's not all but I'll go into more detail when I experience them. My husband was moving some boxes around in the garage one day and had left the garage door open. When he was done, he closed up the garage and went about the rest of the day. The next morning, he went out in the garage, not paying attention to where he was going, and promptly stepped on one of these toads...or whatever they are. He then proceeded to scoop said toad up with a shovel, and toss it on to the front lawn. Before he could get a bag to put it in, a vulture swooped down and grabbed it.

Let's see, the night before he nearly hit a deer on the little rural road we have that leads to our little area. Maybe I should post about that. I think it would be called "Why I have a deer whistle on my bumper." I could probably do it in 60 words or less.

My lunch with fourth graders

Yesterday, I went to have lunch with my eldest at her school. I try to alternate weeks for this. One week, one child, and the next week, the other one. They both really love it when I do, and their school isn't all that far away from the base, so it makes it easy.

So, as I was having lunch with my eldest and her classmates, they started to tell me all of their jokes. For those of you who have been around kids that age, you know the kind I mean. Most of them are really bad.

Well, one particularly friendly girl who was sitting across from me, proceeded to tell me a joke that apparently hand gotten around the class. I noticed that the kids were all watching me closely, so I figured I was going to have to closely guard my reaction. After all, I'm a cool mom, or so they tell me.

The joke:

An elementary teacher was in her classroom, when one of her students walked in late.

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: I was on top of Cherry Hill

Author's note: You would think that, being a former child, I would have guessed what was going to happen.

Then, another boy walked in late.

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: I was on top of Cherry Hill

As she proceeded to teach the class, a girl who she didn't recognize, walked into the classroom.

Teacher: Hi there. I don't think I've ever seen you before. What is your name?
Girl: Cherry Hill

My first reaction was much the same as yours, but I hid it well and laughed with the rest of them. In the beginning, I really didn't know how to handle it but two things came to my mind.

1) They probably had NO clue as to what the whole thing meant.
2) I told the very same type of jokes when I was that age.

And on that note, I'll sign off and go get some lunch. I've got some work to do around the house, and some boxes to empty. I'm just hoping that there aren't any toads in them.

Mood: Content
Background Noise: Squeaky chair

Never Again

There are days when Kim du Toit makes my hair stand on end (he pisses me off). There are days when he makes me laugh hysterically. Sometimes, he makes me reach down inside and really think, and then I want to cry. This is one of those times.

Well done Kim!



Mood:
Background Noise:

***The fish saga continues***

He lives! When I woke up this morning I was almost hesitant to go and check on the fish, but Rags was still alive and looking active. There are still spots on him but I'm hoping after a few days treatment, he'll get rid of them and be on the path to recovery. I'm keeping my fingers crossed but time will tell.

~~~Today's Agenda~~~


Take shower
Unpack more boxes
Go to grocery store
Take oldest to doctor


.....and not necessarily in that order. I live the exciting life!

My oldest developed a cough a couple of weeks ago. Just when I was about ready to take her into the doctor, it seemed to get better. Then the next day she woke up with a roaring cold, poor kid. This time, I'm not waiting. Hopefully, the doctor can give her something that will help her get better. I don't like to dive into antibiotics, but this has gone on for far too long. First the cough, and now this. I don't want it to get worse.

***Reading Private Messages***

I've been following a debate over on a vB board regarding the legality of admins reading private messages on forums for a while now. It comes at an interesting time. As you may or may not know, I'm an active participant in distributed computing. I'm a member of what I consider to be one of the best teams around. I'm an administrator there, and also help out on a few different boards that are not DC related, including my own. In some discussions with some other administrators, it was divulged that there were some owner/admins of a certain DC forum that regularly practiced reading of private messages. As I've had dealings with this team in the past, I must say that this bit of information did not come as a complete surprise to me. We all agreed that reading someone's private messages was not a practice that we believed in.

The question is this. Do the owners/admins of a forum have the right to read PMs? Is there a particular reason for them to do so? Did the members pose a threat? Were they planning something that would harm the forums or the team? In this particular instance, no. It was believed that it was brought on by sheer paranoia, mixed in with a cupful of needing to have complete control. Granted, the legalities of the issue are somewhat gray, but, it's not a practice that is looked favorably upon. It's been a pretty hot topic among a few of us lately and a very interesting one to study.

Here is something written by an IT manager on the subject:

I have been an IT tech and manager for over 20 years and have had to design systems to comply with the law. (3)(a) Except as provided in paragraph (b) of this subsection,a person or entity providing an electronic communication service to the public shall not intentionally divulge the contents of any communication other than one to such person or entity, or an agent thereof) while in transmission on that service to any person or entity other than an addressee or intended recipient of such communication or an agent of such addressee or intended recipient. (b) A person or entity providing electronic communication service to the public may divulge the contents of any such communication - (i) as otherwise authorized in section 2511(2)(a)or 2517 of this title; (ii) with the lawful consent of the originator or any addressee or intended recipient of such communication; (iii) to a person employed or authorized, or whose facilities are used, to forward such communication to its destination; or (iv) which were inadvertently obtained by the service provider and which appear to pertain to the commission of a crime, if such divulgence is made to a law enforcement agency. (4)(a) Except as provided in paragraph (b) of this subsection or in subsection (5), whoever violates subsection (1) of this section shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than five years, or both. It doesn't get any clearer than that, folks. In the US, installing and using this hack is a federal offense that can earn you prison time. Here is the law. It also bears mentioning that individual states also have privacy laws that may or many not be violated by reading your users' private messages. One would also be subject to prosecution under state laws as well. Given the privacy concerns relative to the Patriot Act, this is an extremely sensitive issue to many people. I have no further need to continue to try to convince anyone further. I've given you the best advice I can. If you choose to do something stupid and put yourself at risk, that's your business.

Definitely gives you something to think about. Of course, many people are of the belief that nothing is private on the internet, which, logically speaking, is true. If an administrator is going to read your private messages, does he/she need to warn you of the fact when you register? Would you be safe if you just changed the title to "Messages."

And now...a look at it from a lawyers point of view.....

He may not be a lawyer, but I am. Of course this requires me to say we are not in an attorney client relationship, I am offering generalized advice, it is worth what you paid for it, yadda yadda. I've actually been watching this debate for a while. Find it pretty interesting. All I can say is this, and you'll pardon me if my tone is blunt. There are some recent cases that might suggest that this could be a violation of the act in question. Normally the cases involve reading other people's emails or putting key caps programs on people's computers without their permission or knowledge. If people believe, reasonably, that their private messages are private, you could have a problem. Now a lot of you will say they don't reasonably believe that, nothing on the Internet is private. My response is you need to take a look at the type of people who use your site. Are they aware enough to appreciate this fact? A court will look at what is reasonable based upon the knowledge base of the people. So if you have a hacking board or something your argument is a good one. Not so good for a board where the people don't know the first thing about vbulletin, how it works, what can be read, so on and so forth. Yes, we can view the PMs by going through the databases. Sysadmins can also view emails easily. And without proper cause, if a sysadmin for an email provider started reading your email, he'd be liable for all sorts of things. It's a definite no no. Once you place something out there for people to use it becomes more complicated then it is my property so tough to you. And if you had a problem and you went into court and said hey, it is my board, it is my property I can do what I want, I promise you that answer won't cut it. On the other hand, if you can say, I had a problem with a stalker or with someone trading warez, and I had a note on my sign up page that said you are consenting to being monitored with just cause, then you have a very good argument. Is it a winnable argument? Honestly, I don't know. Any more then I know for certain you would be found liable for violating the Act(s). In the end, I'd suggest that if you want to install this hack and you want to protect yourselves, it probably wouldn't hurt to put something in your TOS noting that they are consenting to monitoring or that nothing posted through the board is private or what have you. It is not a difficult thing to put in your TOS and it is better to be safe. I would also be very careful to limit your reading of pms to when it is a necessity. Of course, this only applies to US law. The EU has even more stringent privacy laws. Your mileage my vary. By the way, if you are wondering if I, as an attorney, would ever install this hack, the answer is no. I think it is unwise, and I think, as our IT person thinks, that it could get you in a lot of trouble, even with warnings to the users.

It's an interesting topic that bears some serious thought. It's not a practice that I believe in myself, but then again, it's my choice. Any thoughts?????



Mood: Relaxed
Background Noise: Voices discussing electric fences

**Update on Rags**

Well, I've cleaned out his tank, and added fresh water and the necessary chemicals to kill the ick. Now, we wait. On the upside, Rags did eat a couple of the pellets I through in there for him and swam a bit. Now he's not moving all that much but time will tell.

We're going over to our neighbors for dinner tonight so that ought to be fun. I'm hoping that pulls me out of this funk I'm in. The girls went off with Charlie to pick up a big suprise for mom (Sharon). They are our neighbors across the street. Great couple. Their kids are older than ours but we get along great. Sharon kept me company while I cleaned the tanks.

Mood: getting into the grove
Background Noise: Boxen Crunching

It's Quiet

I can hear a pin drop

Praise the Lord and pass the peanuts. The kids are over at the neighbors with my husband and all is quiet. I need this time alone to regroup my thoughts. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and it's only gotten worse. I'm not sure what started me off in such a bad mood or why I'm still there. Bah...so it goes.

Three more children

We recently adopted three betas named Dude Jr. (aka DJ), Rags and Twinkie (full name Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star). Cute little buggers and easy to take care of too. Poor Rags seems to have come down with a case of Ick so I had to go out and by some stuff to put into his tank. I've been procrastinating doing this all day. Guess I should get off my duff and do something about it. Then I need to clean the other two's tanks out as well. I thought that these were supposed to be the girls fish. Man, they have me fooled.

The new house

It's awesome. We are really loving it here. The neighbors are great as well. Kind of hard to believe that we finally made it. It's a 4 bedroom, 2 bath, 2 car garage with a little over 1,700 square feet and an acre of land. It even came with a ride on mower. The weather here hasn't been conducive to starting it up and giving it a run around the yard until today. I think my husband was just waiting for the chance. I just hope he doesn't start wearing a straw hat and whistling the Green Acres theme song and start scratching himself.

Man rescued from Space Needle observation deck

Oh, hellooooo? I'm thinking this guy has done a few too many cartwheels. I had a hard enough time being on top of that thing the right way. No way in Hades would I attempt to do that. I'm thinking that once I wiggled one arm through my heart would stop with sheer fright. Man, I hope he gets some help soon.

Comments

I've added comments to my blog so this means that I've got to actually start posting again so you'll have something to comment on. I've got a bad case of writers block and I've heard that it can be exasperated by finding yourself buried in boxes or if your beta fish has a case of ick. Hey...I don't know about you but those excuses work for me.

I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I'm so bloody tired. It most likely stems from the whole move fiasco. Long stints away from my family, living in temporary housing with 2 kids, a dog and a husband (sorry honey, you don't get top billing here), and being stressed at learning a new job. Don't get me wrong, the move went well as moves go, and I LOVE my job (I just hate learning curves, don't you?), but it's really stressful. Awe, what the heck..the boxes will still be there in the morning.

California wedding to go on

Having just moved from California after living there 30+ years of my life, I guess this shouldn't really surprise me. I guess that I really don't know what the big deal about it is. Why are so many people against it? Who are they hurting? As long as what they are doing in no way harms my family or friends (or anyone else for that matter), what business is it of mine to tell them who they can or cannot marry?

Long ago, I made my peace with how I feel about homosexuality. It's not for me, no, but I don't feel it's wrong either. It's my belief that homosexuality isn't something you choose. I doubt that anyone wakes up in the morning and says "hey, I think I'll be gay." It's a rough road for them all the way through. I admire them for going after what they need in life. Lord knows there are enough people out there willing to vilify them.

And in this corner, we have the lovely U.S. Rep. Corrine Brown (D - Jacksonville, FL)

How in the hell did this woman get into power?

According to the Florida Times-Union, U.S. Rep. Corrine Brown (D - Jacksonville, FL), verbally attacked a Bush administration official during a briefing on the Haiti crisis on Wednesday (yesterday). Rep. Brown, who is black, called President Bush's policy on Haiti "racist", and referred to the Administration's representatives as "a bunch of white men". The Administration's representative, Roger Noriega, a Mexican-American, is the State Department's top official for Latin America. Noriega later told Brown "As a Mexican-American, I deeply resent being called a racist and branded a white man", to which Brown responded "you all look alike to me".

And SHE calls Bush's administration racist? I saw where she apologized the next day and said she felt that she was misunderstood. Not a lot in your comments to misunderstand lady. You need to go to Miss Manner's school to learn how to keep your oversized boats out of your mouth.

Mood: Grumpy
Background Noise: Silence

A little of this and a little of that

Been making some changes to the old blog...now I just need to start posting again. I've added a comments and track back section. I'll post some more now that we are finally up and running.

Mood: Morning groggies
Background Noise: Loud little people voices

Justified? You be the judge.

I seriously think that Charles Booher is my hero. Alright, so maybe some of you think that he may have overreacted just a tad. Bullshit. Let's be honest here folks. What he did was verbalize (well, put in writing) what we all feel, but are too chicken legged to do. Let's take a look at the story. Can you honestly tell me that you haven't even "thought" about doing the same thing?

Charles Booher said he is normally a non-violent person. In his spare time, he writes software programs that he likens to Andy Warhol art projects. The last time the Sunnyvale resident got in a fight, he was 11 years old. But in May, Booher received one piece of unsolicited e-mail too many. Booher sat down at his keyboard and began firing back e-mail after e-mail threatening to kill the alleged spammer, according to law enforcement officials. On Thursday, federal agents arrested Booher, 44, at his home and charged him with 11 violations of interstate communications.

Arrest him? The man should be canonized. Ok, ok...the way he went about it was probably not so good. You never send an email that can be traced back to you. He's a programmer, he should have known better. Personally, I'm thinking of taking up a collection to help him with his legal fees.

``If I could go back, I wouldn't have done it,'' he said Friday. ``I would have realized sooner that I needed to shut my Web site down, to shut down my e-mail and to re-evaluate the way I was using the Internet.'' Booher said the nature of the spam he received set off an emotional trigger. He said he is a three-time survivor of testicular cancer and that he was bombarded by e-mail and pop-up ads for penile enlargement. No matter what he did, he couldn't get them to go away. ``I wanted them to leave me alone,'' he said.

Geee...looking at the circumstances, I'd say the guy was somewhat justified in his actions. Especially as he did take steps to stop the spamming. Of course, the wimp assed Doug MacKay wouldn't step up to the plate. (Yo Charles...you hold him down and I'll slap him!) Read on.

He first tried to figure out a technical solution. A professional programmer, he said he has a bachelor's degree in physics from the Illinois Institute of Technology, a master's in electrical engineering from Northwestern, as well as certificates in computer programming from the University of California-Santa Cruz and in the history of science from Stanford University. When the ads wouldn't stop, Booher said he contacted the company, Albion Medical, which appeared to be sending the spam, and asked to speak with Doug Mackay, whose name had appeared on one of the unsolicited advertisements. ``I said, `Will you please stop spamming me so much,' '' Booher recalled. ``He said, `I'd like to try, but it's complicated. I have literally millions of agents out there.' '' ``It started polite, but it went downhill from there,'' Booher said.

Ok..so let's look at the facts so far.

1. Mr. Booher received insurmountable amounts of SPAM regarding penile enhancement.
2. Mr. Booher is a three time survivor of testicular cancer.
3. Mr. Booher tried emailing Mr. Buttface-MacKay to ask him to stop.
4. Said Buttface declined to help, citing complications. (Did he even look into it? I think not.)
5. Mr. Booher begain his well justified campain to stop the harassment.

Ah...here we go. The heart of the matter. Chuck has a vivid imagination, bless his little tiny pointed head.

In May, Booher began sending Mackay blood-chilling e-mails. Excerpts from the e-mails were filed with the criminal complaint against Booher. In an e-mail dated June 14, Booher promises Mackay he will ``locate you, disable you using a quick 22 calibre shot to your lower spine and then duck tape. . . . I am going to cut into the left side of your brain using a power drill and an ice pick.

Whew...that would hurt. Do you think it worked? Think again.

``He's obviously a very sick man,'' said Mackay from his office in Canada. Mackay insists his company, DM Contact Management, has nothing to do with spam and has no relationship with the companies who were spamming Booher. In a telephone interview, Mackay said his company handled customer service for Internet companies, answering telephone queries and taking orders. ``We don't deal with any e-mail marketing at all,'' he said.

Woohooo...Mr. MacKay...you are more full of poop (notice I didn't say shit?) than a Christmas turkey. You deny it? Then how do you explain this?

Booher said he threatened Mackay because the tactic seemed to work. ``I would scream at him and it would stop, and then it would start up again, and then I would scream at him again.''

How come the spamming stopped? You still say you had no control over it? What kind of sick moron are you? To allow this kind of thing to be sent to a man who is fighting for his life, THREE TIMES. You have the balls to allow someone to send him advertisements regarding penile enlargement. Well Mr. MacKay, tell me this. Have you ever gone through chemotherapy? Radiation? Had your hair fall out? Worshipped the porcelain god because you have chemicals in your body fighting a war against a deadly disease? Obviously not. You would rather take the position of most upper management and pretend it never happened.

I won't go on in my comments because I'm heading on over to Booher's house to help him in his defense. Before you get your panties in a wad, I don't condone what he did. It was stupid. But I think it was justifiable. Spamming has to stop and those who are condoning in MUST be held responsible. Freedom of speech my ass. Mr. MacKay is a sorry excuse for a wipe-ass human being, if he can even be called that. Hey Charles, I've got several ice picks for you to choose from. come on over for some home cooking and we'll see what we can do to help you out.

Read the full article here.

I've got better things to do. Like go have a Silly String fight with my girls out front. They don't believe in spam. They believe in wearing me down by whining. Dayum..they're good.

Favorite quote of the moment

There's a silly old saying that if you hold a guinea pig up by its tail, its eyes will drop out.
Margie Ann, 9 years old

Acronym of the day

F.I.N.E. Fucked up, Irrational, Neurotic and Emotional

Mood: Invincible (I told you I was F.I.N.E.)
Background noise: Recess

Comments?

Shameless Pimping

Ok folks, it's time for some shameless pimping or you could call it, free advertising. I've been working a bit on So It Goes. I've rearranged some things, renamed some others and added some new topics as well as forums. After you've taken a look around, take a look at the poll and cast your vote. If you have the time, please register as well. Let me know what you would like to see on the forums. Just what would it take to bring you back to visit?

The Lighter Side

I thought I'd add a bit of humor to my ramblings today. Got this from my other half in an email. Remember Jeff Foxworthy? Well, here's a complement to his "You Might Be A Redneck If..."

YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUENECK IF...

...Instead of referring to two or more people as "Y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.

...You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."

...You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY.

...You would never stop to buy something somebody was cooking on the side of the road. (e.g., boiled peanuts) .

...You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.

...For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes-au-gratin to grits.

...You don't know what a moon pie is.

...You've never had an RC Cola.

...You've never, ever eaten okra -- fried, boiled, or pickled.

...You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

...You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.

...You have no idea what a polecat is.

...You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on your dog.

...You don't have bangs.

...You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.

...You drink either "Pop" or "Soda"- instead of "Cokes."

...You've never eaten and don't know how to make a tomato sandwich.

....You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-'n-knife show.

...You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach

...You don't even have one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.

...The last time you smiled was when you blocked someone from getting on an on-ramp to the highway.

....You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.

...You have more than one professional sports team in your home state.

...You call binoculars opera glasses.

...You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.

...You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice)

...You don't know any women with male names (i.e., Tommie, Bobbie, Johnnie, Jimmie)

...You don't have Maw-maw's & Pawpaw's.

...You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.

...None of your fur coats are homemade.

Quick thoughts moving through the wasted space known as my brain

Am I going to have to learn to like boiled peanuts, fried okra and collard greens now that I am moving to Georgia?

Oh, now here's a winner!

Folks, you really have to wonder about the people who were the observers in this little exercise. You would have thought that the smell ALONE would have been enough to give them an idea that this was not a good place to be.

Check it out!

Favorite Feminist Joke

Q. How many feminists does it take to replace a lightbulb?

A. That's not funny!

Got this from Kim du Toit's site and got a good chuckle out of it. I even wrote him back on it. It just struck me as funny. I think because, even though we members of the feminine population don't like to admit it, it's true. Below was my response. Kim, you da man!

I'm sure this will piss off some of the ladies out there, but hey, if you can't take the heat....tell me where I'm wrong.

OMG...that was priceless. I need to learn to not sip coffee while reading your stuff. I just found out what it feels like to have it spew out of your nose. And it's so TRUE. Of course, you realize another standard response would be "If you don't know the answer to that one, I'm not going to tell you." (effectively letting you know that you are in deep doo-doo, and will receive the cold shoulder until you can learn to read minds). Did you ever notice how we are able, with certain body movements, and one measly little word [FINE], tell you, in no uncertain terms, to fuck off? I'd like to stand up and shout "I AM NOT LIKE THAT AND WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING", but I'd be a liar. Thanks for the laugh Kim. You made my day. Moogie

Too close to home

We've visited this park any number of times. Just another reason I'm glad I'm leaving this God forsaken city/state. Add that to the thousands I already have....... Stuff like this is just too prevalent here. Too much violence. Overcrowding, high cost of living, high jobless rate...it's a wonder more people aren't killed here every day. Bad place to raise the kids.

And don't even get me started on our governor, or the recall race. What a bunch of linguini spined bureaucrats.

Here's the article in question.

News of the Weird

Now it seems that not only do turkeys taste better when they are organically fed, they also are improved (less prone to disease, better taste). Honey, where's that blasted CD. Henry here looks a little boney..we need to plump him up for Thanksgiving or we may as well just eat a cornish game hen.

I'm not making this up. Really.......

Read about it here.

Mood: Happy
Background noise: Gobble, Gobble

Comments?

Sunday Stuff

The trip to Georgia last week was relatively uneventful, except that the directions from the airport to my temporary housing were WRONG. Took me over two hours to find it. And WHY, you might ask, would it take that long? Well, first of all, my home is located just over an hour from the airport. Secondly, it is located in bumcrap Egypt. It takes me over 45 minutes to get from my home (almost an hour) to work. You think maybe, just maybe, they could have found something closer? All in all, it's a nice place. Pretty well equipped. It's just really far out in the stix and the area I have to drive through to get to it doesn't warm the cockles of my heart. Of course, next week I'll be bringing the kids back with me so that will be even more comforting. I keep telling myself that it's just temporary, and it will be over soon. I figure if I keep saying that often enough, I'll believe it.

I went to the school where I want my kids to go. At first I was told that they would have to go to school in Brunswick. I countered with the fact that they were only going to be there 30 days. They wouldn't budge. It amazes me that people who are supposedly out for the children, would see a child moved completely across country, away from all that was familiar, started in a school, only to stay there for 30 days, and then moved to the area of which we plan to settle. Go figure. I found a work-around which I can imagine, most of you can figure out on your own.

There's going to be alot of running around to do this week. Picking up shot records for the kids, gathering up all the paperwork, getting as much as I can crammed in the suitcases for me and the girls. The normal stuff. Oh..that and finishing up inspections on our present house, and doing getting some estimates on a repair to the balcony we have to make.

Michael Jackson Hoopla

I don't know what to believe on this one. It seems to me that folks are out to get him because he does not fit the stereotype of what we call "normal." Don't get me wrong, if he is guilty, string the bastard up by the balls, cover him with honey, and place him next to a behive. But I have to wonder if it is all true. Granted, the man has had more face lifts than Imelda Marcos has shoes. Ok, let's face it. He looks like a woman, minus the hooters, but does all of this make him a child molester?

I was reading a post about this on a forum I visit from time to time and it makes me SICK to listen to people judge him based soley on what they read. That last I heard you were innocent until proven guilty in this country.

Mood: Quiet
Background noise: Full House

Comments?

Stella Awards

I should know better than to post something from A99 without researching it. Heh...as you can see by this link.

I still stand by what I've said before. Americans are suit happy. The thing is, they get away with it because the judicial systems is so mucked up. Kind of a sad state of affairs.

During my searches about this, I came across an interesting story that I found on one of the other forums about the great "coffee case." Learned something new. Here it is:

The "coffee case" after which these awards are named is famous.....but once you know the facts the lawsuit does not seem quite so frivolous....

Stella Liebeck of Albuquerque, New Mexico, was in the passenger seat of
her grandson's car when she was severely burned by McDonalds' coffee in
February 1992. Liebeck, 79 at the time, ordered coffee that was served
in a styrofoam cup at the drivethrough window of a local McDonalds.

After receiving the order, the grandson pulled his car forward and
stopped momentarily so that Liebeck could add cream and sugar to her
coffee. (Critics of civil justice, who have pounced on this case, often
charge that Liebeck was driving the car or that the vehicle was in
motion when she spilled the coffee; neither is true.) Liebeck placed
the cup between her knees and attempted to remove the plastic lid from
the cup. As she removed the lid, the entire contents of the cup spilled
into her lap.

The sweatpants Liebeck was wearing absorbed the coffee and held it next
to her skin. A vascular surgeon determined that Liebeck suffered full
thickness burns (or third-degree burns) over 6 percent of her body,
including her inner thighs, perineum, buttocks, and genital and groin
areas. She was hospitalized for eight days, during which time she
underwent skin grafting. Liebeck, who also underwent debridement
treatments, sought to settle her claim for $20,000, but McDonalds
refused.

During discovery, McDonalds produced documents showing more than 700
claims by people burned by its coffee between 1982 and 1992. Some claims
involved third-degree burns substantially similar to Liebecks. This
history documented McDonalds' knowledge about the extent and nature of
this hazard.

McDonalds also said during discovery that, based on a consultants
advice, it held its coffee at between 180 and 190 degrees fahrenheit to
maintain optimum taste. He admitted that he had not evaluated the
safety ramifications at this temperature. Other establishments sell
coffee at substantially lower temperatures, and coffee served at home is
generally 135 to 140 degrees.

Further, McDonalds' quality assurance manager testified that the company
actively enforces a requirement that coffee be held in the pot at 185
degrees, plus or minus five degrees. He also testified that a burn
hazard exists with any food substance served at 140 degrees or above,
and that McDonalds coffee, at the temperature at which it was poured
into styrofoam cups, was not fit for consumption because it would burn
the mouth and throat. The quality assurance manager admitted that burns
would occur, but testified that McDonalds had no intention of reducing
the "holding temperature" of its coffee.

Plaintiffs' expert, a scholar in thermodynamics applied to human skin
burns, testified that liquids, at 180 degrees, will cause a full
thickness burn to human skin in two to seven seconds. Other testimony
showed that as the temperature decreases toward 155 degrees, the extent
of the burn relative to that temperature decreases exponentially. Thus,
if Liebeck's spill had involved coffee at 155 degrees, the liquid would
have cooled and given her time to avoid a serious burn.

McDonalds asserted that customers buy coffee on their way to work or
home, intending to consume it there. However, the companys own research
showed that customers intend to consume the coffee immediately while
driving.

McDonalds also argued that consumers know coffee is hot and that its
customers want it that way. The company admitted its customers were
unaware that they could suffer thirddegree burns from the coffee and
that a statement on the side of the cup was not a "warning" but a
"reminder" since the location of the writing would not warn customers of
the hazard.

The jury awarded Liebeck $200,000 in compensatory damages. This amount
was reduced to $160,000 because the jury found Liebeck 20 percent at
fault in the spill. The jury also awarded Liebeck $2.7 million in
punitive damages, which equals about two days of McDonalds' coffee
sales.

Post-verdict investigation found that the temperature of coffee at the
local Albuquerque McDonalds had dropped to 158 degrees fahrenheit.

The trial court subsequently reduced the punitive award to $480,000 --
or three times compensatory damages -- even though the judge called
McDonalds' conduct reckless, callous and willful.

No one will ever know the final ending to this case.

The parties eventually entered into a secret settlement which has never
been revealed to the public, despite the fact that this was a public
case, litigated in public and subjected to extensive media reporting.

Mood: Thoughtful
Background noise: Even Steven

Comments?

Belkin disables router spamming feature

It seems that Belkin has had second thoughts and in reponse to all of the negative feed back they have been getting from their customers (like they didn't see that coming), have decided to give users the option of disabling the feature.

Belkin will be offering a firmware upgrade that will be available to download from its website November 17, 2003.

I'm still struggling with the fact that they did this in the first place.

Here's the link to the story.

Mood: Irritable
Background noise: Alan Jackson: Where I come from

Comments?

The Pussification Of The Western Male

(No, I did not come up with this title)

This was an essay written by Kim du Toit, a self-described writer/raconteur/grouch. While parts of the essay may have merit, I feel we need to look at a few things that Mr. du Toit points out.

First off, take a look at the essay in full, digest it, and come back to the editorial. It's a lot to take in and I know that when I first read it, I was fairly sure that the author was smoking some of those funny smelling cigarettes, but after taking more of an in-depth look at him and his site, I realize that he is a man that who has serious convictions about a lot of subjects and is not afraid to put them on paper. I may not always agree with him (ok, mostly I don't) but you have to admit he's not afraid to put it all out there.

That being said, here is the essay in full.


We have become a nation of women.

Don't you think that's a rather gross generalization? As far as I know, men still exist (unless my husband has been lying
to me all of these years and his name is really Charlene). Oh, perhaps you were speaking rhetorically?


It wasn't always this way, of course. There was a time when men put their signatures to a document, knowing full well that this single act would result in their execution if captured, and in the forfeiture of their property to the State. Their wives and children would be turned out by the soldiers, and their farms and businesses most probably given to someone who didn't sign the document.

Whenever I read about things like that in history, my opinions were always split in half. On the one hand, I'd like to admire the male for standing up for what he believes in. On the other, it bothers me that he would make that decision, knowing what would happen to his family.


There was a time when men went to their certain death, with expressions like "You all can go to hell. I'm going to Texas." (Davy Crockett, to the House of Representatives, before going to the Alamo.)

I always liked that line.


There was a time when men went to war, sometimes against their own families, so that other men could be free. And there was a time when men went to war because we recognized evil when we saw it, and knew that it had to be stamped out. There was even a time when a President of the United States threatened to punch a man in the face and kick him in the balls, because the man had the temerity to say bad things about the President's daughter's singing. We're not like that anymore.

We're not? Well, didn't we recognize the evil in Sadam Hussein? Aren't we in Iraq trying to help rebuild the country after their people had to live under years of tyranny? Aren't we still on the hunt for weapons of mass destruction? Aren't we busy looking for Bin Laden? I could go on, but you get my drift.

Are you honestly trying to say that we should support the idea of a President of the United States threatening a man who said his daughter didn't sing well? Is that the kind of message we want to send to our children? Mom, Johnny said that he didn't like the color of my pants so I kicked him in the balls today.


Now, little boys in grade school are suspended for playing cowboys and Indians, cops and crooks, and all the other familiar variations of "good guy vs. bad guy" that helped them learn, at an early age, what it was like to have decent men hunt you down, because you were a lawbreaker.

The kids are suspended for coming to school with knives, and bats, and even guns...any instruments that would be considered a danger to the other children. Unfortunately, there are children out there who will hurt other children and this is a way to help ensure saftey. I don't know about Texas, but here in California, kids still do play cops and robbers, etc. at school, but just not with "weapons." They play it at home as well. Just come to my house and spend a couple of hours. Parents play a big part in teaching their kids about abiding by the law. The fact of the matter is, sometimes, it fails. No matter how much you teach a child, there are always some that will turn out bad and end up taking multiple weapons to a school and blow other children and teachers away just as if it were the opening of hunting season.


Now, men are taught that violence is bad -- that when a thief breaks into your house, or threatens you in the street, that the proper way to deal with this is to "give him what he wants", instead of taking a horsewhip to the rascal or shooting him dead where he stands.

See, the thing is, thieves tend to come in to your house with guns, or other weapons. I think the whole premise behind "give him what he wants" is more of a warning to act with caution. Hey, if I hear the thief break in and see him before he sees me (along with my trusty sidekick, Samm (.357), you can be sure that if he isn't flat on his face kissing the pavement when I tell him to, he'll be seriously considering a sex change operation when I'm through with him.


Now, men's fashion includes not a man dressed in a three-piece suit, but a tight sweater worn by a man with breasts.

Now, warning labels are indelibly etched into gun barrels, as though men have somehow forgotten that guns are dangerous things.

I prefer the casual look anyway. I never thought a three-piece suit on a man was all that sexy. Kind of makes them look prudish if you ask me. I keep picturing them in a salon, getting their nails done. I shudder when I think of men with breasts. I must admit to not seeing much of that here, but hey, to each his own. Women have them, why can't men?


Now, men are given Ritalin as little boys, so that their natural aggressiveness, curiosity and restlessness can be
controlled, instead of nurtured and directed.

Um, sorry pal, you missed the boat on that one. Little boys are given Ritalin because the school system is too quick to put a label on children. Ever heard of ADD/ADHD? They refuse to treat the problem when a child doesn't fit a particular model. "He's not behaving, here give him this drug. That'll make him better." (sad thing is, parents give in this way to easily)

And you know what that does? The little boy becomes a man and nobody has helped him deal with his "problems." Pretty soon, he stops taking the drugs, because, what the hell, they don't work anyway. Then, he can't hold a job, he starts using other types of drugs that are much worse. Then he goes into your house to rob you so that he can get a fix. Then you come downstairs and blow his face off. "Shoot him dead where he stands" is what I believe you said.


And finally, our President, who happens to have been a qualified fighter pilot, lands on an aircraft carrier wearing a flight suit, and is immediately dismissed with words like "swaggering", "macho" and the favorite epithet of Euro girly-men, "cowboy". Of course he was bound to get that reaction -- and most especially from the Press in Europe, because the process of male pussification Over There is almost complete.

How did we get to this?

In the first instance, what we have to understand is that America is first and foremost, a culture dominated by one figure: Mother. It wasn't always so: there was a time when it was Father who ruled the home, worked at his job, and voted. But in the twentieth century, women became more and more involved in the body politic, and in industry, and in the media --and mostly, this has not been a good thing. When women got the vote, it was inevitable that government was going to become more powerful, more intrusive, and more "protective" (ie. more coddling), because women are hard-wired to treasure security more than uncertainty and danger. It was therefore inevitable that their feminine influence on politics was going to emphasize (lowercase "s") social security.

I am aware of the fury that this statement is going to arouse, and I don't care a fig.

Good lord, I'm having flash backs of burping, belching, scratching and farting contests. I think that in a lot of cases, America looks to moms because, essentially, it is "Mom" that brings us up, guides us, holds us when we hurt. I'm not sure whether you wrote that statment for shock value, or if you really believe it. Cause fury? Quite the opposite. The idea intrigues me, not because I like it but because, try as I might, I can find no correlation beetween women voting and the power of government. I'd like to see specific examples before I made up my mind, but I don't think they exist.


What I care about is the fact that since the beginning of the twentieth century, there has been a concerted campaign to denigrate men, to reduce them to figures of fun, and to render them impotent, figuratively speaking.

I'm going to illustrate this by talking about TV, because TV is a reliable barometer of our culture.

In the 1950s, the TV Dad was seen as the lovable goofball -- perhaps the beginning of the trend -- BUT he was still the one who brought home the bacon, and was the main source of discipline (think of the line: "Wait until your father gets home!").

Heh, in my house, Mom took care of it immediately, and then we had to tell Dad when he got home. The anticipation of that was enough to do you in. Dad never added to the punishment, but telling dad that you screwed up was much worse.

If you take a look at the economy today, you will see why it's not only just Dad that brings home the bacon. Take California for example. The cost of housing alone is justification for both parents working. Hav you seen the schools here? They suck. So if you want your child to have a good education you need to send them to a private school. Most families don't have the luxury of only needing one parent to work. You have to do what's best for your kids.


From that, we went to this: the Cheerios TV ad.

Now, for those who haven't seen this piece of shit, I'm going to go over it, from memory, because it epitomizes everything I hate about the campaign to pussify men. The scene opens at the morning breakfast table, where the two kids are sitting with Dad at the table, while Mom prepares stuff on the kitchen counter. The dialogue goes something like this:

Little girl (note, not little boy): Daddy, why do we eat Cheerios?
Dad: Because they contain fiber, and all sorts of stuff that's good for the heart. I eat it now, because of that.
LG: Did you always eat stuff that was bad for your heart, Daddy?
Dad (humorously): I did, until I met your mother.
Mother (not humorously): Daddy did a lot of stupid things before he met your mother.

Now, every time I see that TV ad, I have to be restrained from shooting the TV with a .45 Colt. If you want a microcosm of how men have become less than men, this is the perfect example.

What Dad should have replied to Mommy's little dig: Yes, Sally, that's true: I did do a lot of stupid things before I met your mother. I even slept with your Aunt Ruth a few times, before I met your mother.

That's what I would have said, anyway, if my wife had ever attempted to castrate me in front of the kids like that.

But that's not what men do, of course. What this guy is going to do is smile ruefully, finish his cereal, and then go and fuck his secretary, who doesn't try to cut his balls off on a daily basis. Then, when the affair is discovered, people are going to rally around the castrating bitch called his wife, and call him all sorts of names. He'll lose custody of his kids, and they will be brought up by our ultimate modern-day figure of sympathy: The Single Mom.

You know what? Some women deserve to be single moms.

I haven't seen that commercial, but the next time you do, give me a call. I'll hold your ammo for you.

Society today has a strong focus on health. With all of the advances in medical technology, we have found ways of improving our health and living longer. In order for "food related" companies to survive during these times, they need to market their product accordingly. While I wish the folks at Cheerios had found a different way to do that, I can see where they are coming from.

I agree with you that cutting your spouse down in front of the children is a flat out no-no. No arguments there. But don't blame the woman for the man not being able to keep his willy in his pants. The man needs to have the guts to stand up to his spouse and verbalize his feelings about her behavior, not just lick his wounds with a blonde bimbo, who likely doesn't know the difference between a typewriter and a nail file (no more brains than a box of rocks comes to mind). If he doesn't have the guts to try to fix the problem, or "trying" doesn't work, then he needs to rustle up some chutzpah and remove himself from the situation.

People tend to rally around either the mother or the father when an affair is discovered. It depends on who is doing the "stepping out." The sympathy is always going to go to the victim.

Divorce, for whatever reason, sucks. It's worse when there are kids involved. The problem herein lies with the parents who tend to use their children as weapons, instead of stepping back from the situation and analyzing what would be best for the children, rather than how best to hurt the other spouse. In the past, the law has tended to give the mother custody of the children, and the father, visitation rights. Over the past few years, that attitude has been changing but it definitely has a long way to go.


When I first started this website, I think my primary aim was to blow off steam at the stupidity of our society.

Because I have fairly set views on what constitutes right and wrong, I have no difficulty in calling Bill Clinton, for example, a fucking liar and hypocrite.

AMEN! Next........

But most of all, I do this website because I love being a man. Amongst other things, I talk about guns, self-defense, politics, beautiful women, sports, warfare, hunting, and power tools -- all the things that being a man entails. All this stuff gives me pleasure.

Mostly I started mine just to put things down on paper. Didn't matter what. I talked alot about my family in the beginning, then that kind of spread off to other things. In alot of cases, it became a place to vent out my frustrations in whatever way I wanted. I have an insane urge to put "it" down on paper. I just haven't figure out what "it" is yet. I've really just started. Got a long way to go.


Yes, the men are, by and large, slobs. Big fucking deal. Last time I looked, that's normal. Men are slobs, and that only changes when women try to civilize them by marriage. That's the natural order of things.

Real men, on the other hand, have big fucking mean-ass dogs: Rhodesian ridgebacks, bull terriers and Rottweilers, or else working dogs like pointers or retrievers which go hunting with them and slobber all over the furniture.

Women own lapdogs.

Yes, they are. Marriage doesn't change that. Perhaps there are women out there who are dumb enough to try, but they'll fail, hands down.

As far as the dog comment...I don't like lap dogs. Never have. I've got a Basenji/Cattledog mix that pretty much follows me around everywhere. She goes at about 20 lbs, comes up to about my knee, and is one little tough cookie. Of course, (that rock comment is coming to mind again) she doesn't always show how smart she is. We had a balloon stuck outside on a bush in front of the house and she barked at it until the wind blew it away. She holds her own with the other dogs, no matter what size/breed, and if you mess with her family, you'll be getting a birds eye view of what her teeth look like (and feel like).


Which is why women are trying to get dog-fighting and cock-fighting banned -- they'd ban boxing too, if they could -- because it's "mean and cruel". No shit, Shirley. Hell, I don't like the idea of fighting dogs, either, but I don't have a problem with men who do. Dogs and cocks fight. So do men. No wonder we have an affinity for it.

I don't have a problem with men boxing. If men are stupid enough to let themselves get battered in the head until they have no brain cells left, then that's their decision. It's their choice. The animals don't have a choice. They are forced to fight. If they don't they become seriously injured, and in many cases, dead.


Speaking of rap music, do you want to know why more White boys buy that crap than Black boys do? You know why rape is such a problem on college campuses? Why binge drinking is a problem among college freshmen?

It's a reaction: a reaction against being pussified. And I understand it, completely. Young males are aggressive, they do fight amongst themselves, they are destructive, and all this does happen for a purpose.

Because only the strong men propagate.

Whoa, wait a second. Where is your justification for that association? The rise in rape and drinking, as well as other things can be blamed on society as a whole. The drinking and drug usage has risen over the years, and is even more prevalent in our schools, sometimes starting as early as grade school. That's where the education needs to start. By excusing the male behavior because of your so called theory of male pussification, (think Ritalin) you are masking the real problem at hand. The education of things such as this, starts at home, and is strengthened at school.

Now, here's your beer...go watch some football. I'll help the kids with the homework and cook some dinner. Just as soon as I find my shoes......

Mood: Irritable
Background noise: Printers

Comments?

The countdown officially begins

Well, today the had my going away luncheon and it was really fabulous. I was overwhelmed. There were 37 people that showed up. I could hardly believe it. The food was wonderful and I saw people that I hadn't seen in quite some time. My husband, brother and his fiancee were invited as well. I got a beautiful crystal dish, complete with a lid, with my name inscribed on it, as well as "We will miss you, November 14th, 2003" (the date will be my last day there). I was very touched. I think that was the point that marked the beginning of my countdown. There is no turning back now.

Paperless Society

Uhhhh...where?

What would we do without email? I mean, come on. How many of us have had a work stoppage when our email was down? It amazes me. We use the telephone alot less these days because it seems to be easier to just zip off an email.

Of course, the powers that be state that this is one of the engines that enables us to have a paperless society. Pardon me, how long have you been taking those mind altering drugs? I don't know about the rest of you but it certainly doesn't work that way when your customer is the Navy (or any Government entity). We may have email, and use our computers extensively, but I still have PAPER files. I have two bookshelves right now, filled completely with binders that keep records of everything. And alot of them go way back to when God invented dirt. I won't even talk about the file drawers I have. You know, those stupid one's that lock up when you try to open up more that one drawer at a time?

So, I don't get it. Paperless society? Yeah..in your dreams pal.

Over at OWW, the old man's place, the origin of Midget Terrorist is finally revealed.

My Mad Friend from Texas informs me that he did not originate the term "Midget Terrorists". That one was invented by the cartoonist Berkely Breathed, in the strip "Bloom County". Credit where credit is due....

I say horse shit pucky. The modeled that after my kids. They were the inspiration. Mr. Breathed, I'm going to sue your arse pants off. Then I can retire early. Think I'm kidding? Look at these Stella awards posted by my friend A99 over on one of the forums I'm an administrator at.

STELLA AWARDS 2002 It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella awards. The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous, successful lawsuits in the United States. Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonalds, the teens that allege that eating at McDonalds has made them fat, was filed after the 2002 award voting was closed. This suit will top the 2003 awards list without question. 5th place (Tied) A jury of her peers awarded Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas $780,000 after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler was Ms. Robertson's son. 5th place (Tied) 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps. 5th place (Tied) Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the house owner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the tune of $500,000. 4th place Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next-door neighbor's Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in his owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been a little provoked at the time, as Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into the yard was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun. 3rd place A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. 2nd place Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a nightclub in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms. Walton was trying to sneak out of the window in the Ladies Room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses. 1st place This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago motor home. On his trip home from a football game, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he could not actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor Home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreational vehicles.

Obviously, you don't know me.

Mood: Happy
Background noise: Hey Arnold

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Aaack!

It's Sunday evening and other than having a rather large group of midget terrorists in my living room, there is nothing going on.

I've really gotten nothing done this weekend, at least not what I had planned. I still have my suitcase to unpack...it's sitting there calling me. But the voice of reason asks: What are you unpacking for, you'll just have to fill me up in a week?

I should probably get that done, and then clean up the kitchen a bit. My husband and I decided to be lazy today. It's a good feeling. We did pretty much NOTHING all day. The kids played outside, lounged around, we played games...nothing earth shattering. Now, they are playing with a gaggle of friends and I'm up here telling myself to get busy. Not that it's doing any good. Damn suitcase is stubborn. Won't unpack itself.

My boss came to me and asked who I wanted to invite to my going away luncheon. I tried to tell her that I didnt' want one, but that didn't go over well. It's understandable, I've been there 21 years, so I caved. I gave her a small list...and after talking to her on Thursday...looks like the list isn't small anymore. I guess one could say that's a compliment to me...a testimonial of how much I was liked. I keep thinking..."oh God...how am I going to hold it together?."

An interesting diagram

Parents may want to keep this away from their kids...at least until they are out of their house.



Mood: Silly
Background noise: Children Laughing

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Spam: Do Not Contact Me, Ever

I read an interesting article in eWeek this morning.

All over the world, companies are bracing for the possibility that angry customers—weary of answering phone calls from strange salespeople during their dinner hours and opening e-mail boxes filled with pornography—will test the limits of their right to privacy by filing a lawsuit. The customers may even have the force of law on their side.

We've already got some "Do Not Call" regulations in place and it seems we are trying to add "Do Not Spam" to the list as well.

In September, California Gov. Gray Davis signed the nation's toughest statewide legislation to date regulating the sending of electronic spam. The law, which Long Island, N.Y.-based Publishers Clearing House is watching carefully, gives residents the right to sue anybody that sends them unsolicited commercial e-mail and establishes fines of $1,000 per message, or as much as $1 million. It is scheduled to take effect January 1.

There would be a database set up, much like the "Do Not Call" registry, which would severely limit the use of email to sell services or products. It is said that it will be difficult for companies to comply with these new regulations because there is no clear cut definition of "recipients consent."

Let's get real here. Do you really think that this will change things? I fear that most likely, it will have little or no impact on spammers because, as the article states, "they are difficult to find."

Truth in advertising needs to be enforced. History shows us that the FTC has been lackadaisical in enforcing it. Spammers would need to get rid of any misleading statements in their emails. If they advertised that their product was new and improved, then they would need to clearly prove that, in advance.

Marketers would like us to believe that the implementation of this regulation would violate their "Freedom of Speech." After all, no one is forcing us to listen. My argument is if I have to pick up the phone to listen to them, or delete an email, then I am being forced to listen. I did not ask them to call or email me.

I read a discussion on this and one reader put it best: "They are free to 'speak' all they want, just not in my home, in my ear or in my Inbox."

Mood: Reflective
Background noise: Scooby Doo

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Programmer or Killer?

Can you tell the difference? I got a 7/10.

TAKE THE TEST

Mood: Calm
Background noise: Jimmy Neutron

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Some fun for kids

If you tease her with the mouse pointer on her chest or stomach she will purr, and I got her to meow also by rubbing her forehead with the pointer. If you make a slow circle around her body, not only will her head/eyes follow your pointer, but toward the top, her paw will go up, and when in front of her paws at the bottom, her foot comes out like she wants to play with your mouse pointer. . ... Enjoy!

The Cat

Mood: Happy
Background noise: Chattering Children

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Midget Terrorists

Something could be said about having boys vs girls. I'm not sure what it is as I have been cursed blessed with having two girls. I was so happy. Just think, two girls, pink dresses, pretty little bows in their hair, black patent leather shoes, clean little faces, impeccable manners.

I'm sad to report that my children suffer from an error in genetic coding. That whole chromosome thing must have got messed up. I think my girls must have the qq chromosome. Either that or the powers that be were feeling humorous and decided to play a game with me.

I've got two girls, currently 9 and 5, and while they like to play dress up, and play with dolls (they abhor Barbies at the moment, unless said Barbies are naked and they are playing with them in the bathtub) the rest of them is all boy.

Dirt is something to be played in, not avoided. They climb trees, wrestle with their buddies, and only have to look at mud to get dirty.

Take this morning for instance. My daughters were bringing their hands up to their mouths and blowing on them, essentially having a contest to see who could make the loudest farting noises.

What is it about bodily noises that amuse children so much?

I guess I should be thankful they don't walk around the house in boxers, belching, farting and scratching themselves.



Mood: Relaxed
Background noise: Splashing water

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The last hoorah

Well, this is it folks. The beginning of my last week here in California. I've mixed emotions about it but feel it's the right thing to do. Tomorrow will be my going away luncheon at work and pretty much the rest of the week will be spent cleaning out my desk, passing on files and binders, cleaning up my data on my computer and getting it ready to transfer to my new computer in Georgia. That and spending a lot of time getting things coordinated for the move.

Now...on to more important stuff!

Illegal Immigrant Workers Sue Wal-Mart

FREEHOLD, N.J. - Nine illegal immigrants who worked as janitors at Wal-Mart until they were arrested during federal raids last month have sued the company, accusing it of discrimination The nine say they were paid lower wages and offered fewer benefit because they are Mexicans, and they accuse Wal-Mart and its cleaning contractors of failing to pay for overtime, withhold taxes or make required workers' compensation contributions.

There is something definitely wrong with this picture. First off, does the word "illegal" not mean anything to anyone? They were lucky to have a job at all. If they were in the country legally, then I would say they have a right to sue.

According to the lawsuit, Wal-Mart employed cleaning contractors "with full knowledge" that they paid illegal immigrants less than legal workers. "Wal-Mart must have known about these violations," the immigrant's lawyer, Gilberto Garcia, told The New York Times. "If these people are going to work at Wal-Marts, then Wal-Mart and its contractors should abide by the labor laws."

Whether Wal-Mart knew or not is not an issue. Since they hired the contractors, they are ultimately responsible. You know the saying...shit rolls downhill? Well, in business, the stinky stuff rolls uphill as well.

Do the labor laws actually apply to someone who is in the country illegally?

"Clearly, hungry lawyers are converging on these illegal immigrants as if they were accident victims," Williams said. "We have seen absolutely no evidence showing that Wal-Mart did anything wrong."

Sounds something like ambulance chasers.

She acknowledged that Wal-Mart has received a letter from federal prosecutors warning that it faces a grand jury investigation into illegal immigrants employed at its stores. An employer can face civil and criminal penalties for knowingly hiring illegal immigrants or failing to comply with certain employee record keeping regulations.

Yes, and the Wal-Mart and the contractor should be held accountable for hiring illegal immigrants. But being sued for labor violations? The pieces of the puzzle just don't fit here.

Mood: Giddy
Background noise: Grim and Evil

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A houseful of MT's

We decided to let the kids have a friend over for an "overniter." Of course, that's not all that unusual in this household. It seems like we have that almsot every weekend. If not that, we have a group over for lunch or dinner. I don't really mind. It makes them happy and keeps them occupied. I just gotta wonder why I keep doing this to myself though. Heh...I think it started when the doctor dropped me on my head. That would explain alot of things. (twitch, twitch)

And on tonight's menu

Since the kids have a friend over (did I mention how grateful I was that it was only one friend?) the menu for tonight's dinner is going to be simple. Hot dogs and fries, etc...for them, and sloppy joes and fries for us. Of course, what overniter would be complete without fresh, homemade brownies? Speaking of which, I'd better get myself in gear and start cooking before they start coming out of the woodwork and chewing on my ankles.

Mood: Relaxed
Background noise: One of the kids CDs...a mixture of artists

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Egypt Bans Jim Carrey's 'Bruce Almighty'

You've GOT to be kidding me. I read this one over on OWW and had to post about it over here. (the McDonald's post was purely coincidental, we posted at the same time, this one was a deliberate swipe from his blog)

The text in bold below are excerpts from the article itself. My comments, such as they are, are in italic.

CAIRO, Egypt - Egyptian authorities have banned the Jim Carrey (news) film "Bruce Almighty," saying the comedy infringes on God's sacredness.

Uh...scratching head...isn't this a "commedy?" I don't remember anything in the movie that actually took a swipe at God, quite the opposite really.

Madkour Thabit, who heads the state-run censorship body responsible for audio and visual productions, criticized the movie Friday for featuring "actors playing the role of God."

"The name of the movie — 'Bruce Almighty' — indicates that there is someone who can do anything and everything," Thabit said in a statement faxed to The Associated Press. "Such traits belong only to God."


Scratch, scratch, scrath (maybe I need a different shampoo). Let's just recap. This movie is fiction, it's a commedy, it has ACTORS, playing ROLES. Where in the movie does it state, or even insinuate, that these characters are real?

Here is the article in full.

Looks like they already banned The Matrix Reloaded back in June. I'm suprised that they haven't banned the Teletubbies yet. After all, the esteemed Reverend Falwell has stated that Tinky is gay because he carries a "purse" and the "gay pride symbol" adorns the top of his head. I think Falwell should move to Egypt. He'd fit in better.

Mood: Slightly Grouchie
Background noise: Barking Dog


Comments?

Motorists get mad, rams police car

Oh yeah...now here is a woman who's brains have definitely gone south and are residing in her butt. That would explain why they were out of commission during this incident. People complain about illegal immigrents being able to obtain a California Driver's License but what about this idiot? Some people shouldn't be allowed behind the wheel. Good going Ms. Garnett. Guess you need to up that dose of Prozac some, eh?

Check it out.

Wonder if she was married. Could you imagine the telephone call from her to her husband, explaining just why he needed to bail her out of jail?

Mood: Alert
Background noise: Teen Titans

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Kissing ban considered for Moscow metro

Uh...remind me again why I live in the United States? Ok, blatent groping, heavy petting, things of that nature...I could see. But just giving a peck on the cheek to your mate or a quick hug? Hello? I'm wondering if this ban extends to holding hands. At the rate they are going, you won't be able to hold your kids on your lap.

MOSCOW, Russia (Reuters) -- Couples caught kissing on Moscow's underground rail system could be fined under new regulations being considered by city authorities while those going too far could face jail, a newspaper's Web site said on Friday. The kissing ban could even extend to a husband embracing his wife, Stolichnaya Vechernyaya Gazeta said on its Web site.

Here's the article.

Mood: Thoughtful
Background noise: Duck Dodgers

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Saturday morning

Well, it's time to leave the confines of my desk and do something productive. Perhaps I should think about unpacking my suitcase from the last trip. Then again....

More on dreams

Ok...what does this mean? Last night I dreamt that a bull was trying to come through my front door. True to form, I couldn't get the damn door shut and locked and it kept poking its head through. I'm beginning to believe that Freud would have a field day with me.

McDonald's Decries Webster Over 'McJob'

I was just surfing a bit and came across this story. It's seems that McDonalds has a beef (no pun intended) with Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary and their definition of the word "McJob".

CHICAGO - McDonald's says it deserves a break from the unflattering way the latest Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary depicts its job opportunities. Among some 10,000 new additions to an updated version released in June was the term "McJob," defined as "low paying and dead-end work."

A spokesman for McDonald's is also concernced that "McJobs" closely resembles McJOBS, a program that trains mentally and physically challenged people.

Looks like there may be some legal issues that will be popping up. It will be interesting to watch how this pans out.

For the full story, look HERE.

Mood: Melancholy
Background noise: Evil Con Carne

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WTF was I thinking?

I've been working at the same company in the the same location on the same program, minus about 6 months (a ton of different progressive jobs) for 21 years now. Why in God's name am I moving? No WAIT! Why in God's name am I moving across country to start a new job, working for people I have little knowledge of, leaving behind my good friends and everything is familiar to me?

It sounded good at the start? I was pretty confident there was no way that I would be picked because there were quite a few candidates applying for the job? (true statement)

I hate change. Change is evil. What have I gotten myself into?

Mood: Agitated
Background noise: Silence

Help! my Belkin router is spamming me

I got this story from OWW, who found it via slashdot. You've got to be kidding me!? What's going to happen next? Am I going to have to worry about my printer automatically spewing out advertisements? When is this all going to stop? Belkin is run by a bunch of hippie pinko commie pigs with no more market sense than an infant in a business suit.

This will create a huge stink, and Belkin sales will plummet. We're currently looking at going wireless and it doesn't take a genius to figure out who we won't be doing business with.

Read here to see what has my panties in a wad.

I gotta stop sleeping

Either that or maybe I should see a psychiatrist. I've been having these really strange dreams, not bad mind you, just strange.

I must fall asleep thinking over all of the things that I need to do. The night before last I was dreaming that the moving van had come and these extremely HUGE, not necessarily intelligent men were carrying the stuff to the truck. All of a sudden I didn't want to move and started hauling stuff out of the truck and screaming at them to put it all back. They kept telling me that they couldn't do it because I had to move. (did I mention I was in my pajamas?) I kept taking stuff out of the truck, and they kept putting it back in. Finally, one of them hauled me up and threw me into the truck, and locked it up.

Fast forward....we are in Georgia and I am in temporary housing (strange, it looked like my house now). I am trying to get ready for work but having no luck. I can't seem to move fast enough. I'm watching the clock and realizing that I'm never going to make it to the first day of my new job on time. I finally finish, and hop into the car and speed of towards the base. It's only as I approach the gate that I realize that I don't have my badge. Before I could explain to the guards, a bunch of marines had surrounded my car and started screaming at me to get out. I remember vividly that they were all carrying larger than life guns.

I guess that wasn't as bad as the time that I dreamt I was picking up the straws off the cafeteria floor at work because they didn't have any in my temporary housing.

The other night I woke up wondering if they had hangers in the closet or not.

They're coming to take me away, haha, hehe, hoho!

Sunday morning

Well, here we go to the start of another week which promises to be nothing short of painful, I would imagine. There is just a whole lot of stuff to do in an entirely too short of a period of time. I am learning to get by with a few hours of sleep at night, and the remainder of time, making up to do lists in my mind.

I'll start posting here more as I have some time. It's been a seriously long time.

TUESDAY EVENING

Needless to say, things were really quiet today at work. All of us were still somewhat in shock over the events that took place in Mississippi. You see, even though we are a large corporation, we are still a tight group. When a family member suffers, we suffer.

My mind keeps wandering back to the family members of all of the victims. I think about the horror the employees must have gone through, and the horror that they will relive for the rest of their lives. I think about the victims who were murdered or injured. What is it that one thinks of when a gun is pointed at them? Mom, I love you? Dan, I didn't mean to argue with you this morning? Please, let my children know I always loved them?

What in God's name makes a person go off the deep end like that? Of course, the media is jumping at describing the man as racist, etc...and the bodies aren't even cold yet. It's kind of hard to know just what to believe. How can someone possess that much hatred, enough to go on a killing spree such as the one this morning? What was going through his mind at the time? Were there warnings at work that showed this man was close to going off the edge? If so, why wasn't anything done about it? I would imagne we'll never know what caused it. Those things died with him, when he pointed the gun at himself and took his own life.

I'm glad I don't understand. That means I'm not like him.

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A LOOK AT MONDAY

I came into work on Monday, only to find that I had a computer that could access only the things that were located on my hard drive. Wonderful, just wonderful. Seems a router when down. And then they had to go get a part. And then..........they finally got it up and running (let me just say that I was not the only one affected) ten minutes before I was set to go home for the day. Wonderful, just wonderful (did I say that already)? I know parts are parts and they will break, but, please not on my time. I couldn't even print. I couldn't pull data. I did what I could (of course, my filing was, for once, up to date) and then just kind of cleaned out my desk, rearranged my drawers, made up new binders and folders. You know the kind of day that I'm talking about.

So it goes.....

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A MOMENT OF SILENCE

I was just getting home tonight, when I saw my husband and the two terrorrists heading out for the pool. They asked me if I wanted to go but I politely declined. The idea of a couple of hours of no noise was too good to pass up. Just me and the dog hanging out. AND, to top it all off, I'm not even going to have to cook dinner tonight. My husband is making his famous, never-the-same-way-twice-running spaghetti. Life is good, yes?

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SPEAKING OF THE DOG

She's wonderful, as usual. She seems to be fully housebroken now (though you didn't hear me say that), and is really doing well. Her chewing things has slowed down a little bit, but not as much as I would like. Nothing is safe on the floor. She is still an excellent escape artist, but I'm working on it. We are settling down in a routine, and she is really becoming one of the family. For a while there..I was beginning to wonder. Oh, did I mention I think she was dropped on her head at birth? She stalks, and tries to eat, all insects. It's kind of interesting to watch.......

Here's a picutre.


And a link for some more.

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CLOSING THE REMARKS

The terrorrists have arrived and it's time I bounce back into reality. Hope you all have a wonderful evening and stop back again soon.

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Six Dead in Mississippi Factory Shooting



This one hits too close to home for me. This is one of our facilities. Even though they work on a different program, we all feel like the killed and injured were part of our family. It really makes you stop and think.

(CNN) -- A gunman armed with a shotgun and a semi-automatic rifle opened fire at a Lockheed Martin aircraft plant in Meridian, Mississippi, this morning, killing at least five of his co-workers and injuring eight others before turning a gun on himself, authorities said. "Several of the victims fell at their work stations," Lauderdale County Sheriff Billy Sollie said. Meridian Mayor John Smith called the attack an "unspeakable tragedy."

Here is the article in full.

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FIREWORKS

All I can say is WOW! That had to be one of the best shows we have seen in a long time. We went downtown to watch the fireworks and it was well worth it! We were going to take the train down, but it was jam packed. A security guard told us that the busses were offering a special deal to try to draw people away from the trains. We took the bus and got there in no time. We found a good spot after walking a few blocks and plopped ourselves down on our blanket and proceeded to wait for the show to begin. I'd have to say that the only other one we have seen that was better was the one time we went to Crescent City over the holiday and were camping. They shot the fireworks off from a barge. That was a really good show as well. Getting home was a little bit more difficult, but not as bad as it could have been. By the time we got to our car, and then pulled up in our garage, both the girls were bushed. We all had a great time.

The whole day ended up being really great. We live in a townhouse and our complex threw a 4th of July pool party, complete with chicken on skewers, hot dogs, beans chips, popsicles and sodas/water. We all had a really good time. The girls and I spent alot of time in the pool and our youngest is just starting to get the hang of swimming..sort of. I think I got a bit too much sun as I'm a little red around the edges but I don't think that it will be that bad.

All in all, the day was wonderful and I'm ready to head on off to bed.

TTFN!

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THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE

Action of Second Continental Congress, July 4, 1776
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen United States of America

WHEN in the Course of human Events, it becomes necessary for one People to dissolve the Political Bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the Powers of the Earth, the separate and equal Station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent Respect to the Opinions of Mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the Separation.

WE hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness -- That to secure these Rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the Consent of the Governed, that whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these Ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its Foundation on such Principles, and organizing its Powers in such Form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient Causes; and accordingly all Experience hath shewn, that Mankind are more disposed to suffer, while Evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the Forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long Train of Abuses and Usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object, evinces a Design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their Right, it is their Duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future Security. Such has been the patient Sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the Necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The History of the present King of Great- Britain is a History of repeated Injuries and Usurpations, all having in direct Object the Establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid World.

HE has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public Good.

HE has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing Importance, unless suspended in their Operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

HE has refused to pass other Laws for the Accommodation of large Districts of People, unless those People would relinquish the Right of Representation in the Legislature, a Right inestimable to them, and formidable to Tyrants only.

HE has called together Legislative Bodies at Places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the Depository of their public Records, for the sole Purpose of fatiguing them into Compliance with his Measures.

HE has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly Firmness his Invasions on the Rights of the People.

HE has refused for a long Time, after such Dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of the Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; th